This is a bit light on the "comedy" part, I'm afraid, but very good prompt; thank you!
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Jade glows now. That takes some getting used to.
So does the whole part-dog thing, but that’s so bizarre your mind hasn’t even tried to fully comprehend it. You didn’t even think radiation worked that way.
(You wish it’d worked that way for you.)
But the glowing is really throwing you off. It’s not something you notice much out in the sun, on those days when the two of you have to risk crossing the sun-baked earth for new shelter. She looks a little greener than usual, sure, and if you really squint, you can make it out. But at night she lights up like a fucking lava lamp.
“Turn it off,” you tell her, as you do every night when you have the strength to talk. “Fucking zombie men are gonna track us down.”
She hits you in the face with her tail. “I would if I could! Besides it doesn’t matter if they track us down. I can just take out all of the zombie men with my sonic bark!”
It’s a testament to how weird things are that you’ve grown to accept that as a legitimate statement.
Sometimes at night, you dream about the way things used to be. When Jade didn’t glow like a goddess but she was brilliant anyways. Back when would describe her latest inventions to you and your long-since-vaporized friends at the lunch table. You thought you had to protect her, then. Somehow keep her genius safe from the drudgery of high school.
These days, she’s the one protecting you. She stands between you and what’s left of the world as what’s left of your hair falls from your scalp.
FILL: TEAM JOHN<3VRISKA
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Jade glows now. That takes some getting used to.
So does the whole part-dog thing, but that’s so bizarre your mind hasn’t even tried to fully comprehend it. You didn’t even think radiation worked that way.
(You wish it’d worked that way for you.)
But the glowing is really throwing you off. It’s not something you notice much out in the sun, on those days when the two of you have to risk crossing the sun-baked earth for new shelter. She looks a little greener than usual, sure, and if you really squint, you can make it out. But at night she lights up like a fucking lava lamp.
“Turn it off,” you tell her, as you do every night when you have the strength to talk. “Fucking zombie men are gonna track us down.”
She hits you in the face with her tail. “I would if I could! Besides it doesn’t matter if they track us down. I can just take out all of the zombie men with my sonic bark!”
It’s a testament to how weird things are that you’ve grown to accept that as a legitimate statement.
Sometimes at night, you dream about the way things used to be. When Jade didn’t glow like a goddess but she was brilliant anyways. Back when would describe her latest inventions to you and your long-since-vaporized friends at the lunch table. You thought you had to protect her, then. Somehow keep her genius safe from the drudgery of high school.
These days, she’s the one protecting you. She stands between you and what’s left of the world as what’s left of your hair falls from your scalp.
Funny how things work sometimes.