(pt.2/2) Once they start driving again everyone stays pretty quiet, only the sound of the radio and static going off every so often before they change the station. Rose tries to read her book before getting a little nauseous herself and giving up, finding sleep to be the better option. Dave is sat tensely with his arms crossed as he looks out the window. Jade asks if the air conditionings getting to him and he just muffles a quick yeah before resuming his intense window staring.
The next hour John and Jade get a game of I spy going and Dave looks even more flushed even though he says he’s fine, really. Rose gave up trying to take a nap and instead stared intently at Dave’s sickly form. Even though his body remains taught every so often he shifts in his seat, crossing his legs and sometimes pressing them together tightly.
“Dave Strider so help me if you rip a fart in this car I am going to throttle you.”
“Rose no—”
“I’ll do it Dave, I will clock you upside the head if it stops you from exuding those nauxious butt bombs of yours.”
“Stop Rose they’re not even that bad—”
“No I’m sorry Dave they’re pretty bad,” John chimed in, “Like if we went to the zoo and sat you next to an elephant that just took a mad poop, your farts would still probably overpower the elephant stink and the poop stink combined. Just sayin.”
“Yeah pretty much.” Jade agreed.
“Yeah well guess you’ve never sat next to a piss and shit stank hobo on the F Line cause thats one rank stank, how much level grinding do you even gotta do to get Shit stank master like that guy. How many poop shaped goblins did you kill to get dead cat perfume covered in dog vomit around your neck, thats at least several years of diarrhea on your overcoat and thats just na—”
Dave was cut off by the horrible fart he was holding in, his long winded metaphor making him break wind. An embarassed flush fell over his has as everyone began making pained noises and a cocophony of anguished groans.
“Augh Dave”“DUDE”“I WASNT ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU FART”“MY EYESSS, MY EYESSS” “AW NAST ITS IN MY MOUTH, OPEN THE WINDOWS”“WE CANT OPEN THE WINDOWS”“THIS IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE”“DAVE WHY”
Dave’s embarassment and guilt grew larger when he realized that he didnt just fart, be he sharted in his pants. And the smell grew worse still.
“DAVE THERES NOT ANOTHER EXIT FOR LIKE 40MILES” OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE GOODBYE WORLD, LET IT BE KNOWN JOHN EBERTS DEATH WAS DUE TO MAJOR FLATULENCE”“…I think I’m going to puke.”
Everyone grew silent at that and John and Dave looked at Rose. “Dude Harley she’s gonna heave.” “JADE PULL THE CAR OVER WOW!”
“THERE’S NO WHERE TO PULL OVER ONTO!!”
“Jade this car is about to reach critical level nast mass JUST PULL OVER ANYWHERE.”
But it was too late.
Rose blew chunks of her breakfast burrito all over Jade’s car floor as Dave lifted his legs up onto the seat only to realize he shit right through his pants and onto Harley’s back seat. Everyone was screaming, and everything smelled awful for miles and miles and many more tears were shed.
“Well as least it’s a birthday you’ll never forget!” Jade exclaimed as she sat down in the hotel’s kingsize bed.
“I don’t think I can ever sit in your back seat knowing that our boyfriend fartpooped on it. And then Rose’s throwup also sorta got on the seat, and then Dave threw up seeing Rose throw up an—”
“Let’s…try not to think about that anymore today alright John?” Jade put a hand over John’s mouth as he knodded in agreement. “And let’s try not to make them feel too bad about it okay, I’m pretty sure we already did plenty of that in the car…”
When Dave and Rose got out of the shower John and Jade initiated a large cuddle pile in their kingsize bed and apologized and kissed their boyfriend and girfriend and assured them it wasn’t a big deal. At least they finally got to Vegas right?
John tries to playfully call Dave his shitboyfriend but instead ends up getting the cold shoulder as Dave cuddles in between Jade and Rose.
“Wow okay I see how it is, no love for the birthday boy!”
FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE
Once they start driving again everyone stays pretty quiet, only the sound of the radio and static going off every so often before they change the station. Rose tries to read her book before getting a little nauseous herself and giving up, finding sleep to be the better option. Dave is sat tensely with his arms crossed as he looks out the window. Jade asks if the air conditionings getting to him and he just muffles a quick yeah before resuming his intense window staring.
The next hour John and Jade get a game of I spy going and Dave looks even more flushed even though he says he’s fine, really. Rose gave up trying to take a nap and instead stared intently at Dave’s sickly form. Even though his body remains taught every so often he shifts in his seat, crossing his legs and sometimes pressing them together tightly.
“Dave Strider so help me if you rip a fart in this car I am going to throttle you.”
“Rose no—”
“I’ll do it Dave, I will clock you upside the head if it stops you from exuding those nauxious butt bombs of yours.”
“Stop Rose they’re not even that bad—”
“No I’m sorry Dave they’re pretty bad,” John chimed in, “Like if we went to the zoo and sat you next to an elephant that just took a mad poop, your farts would still probably overpower the elephant stink and the poop stink combined. Just sayin.”
“Yeah pretty much.” Jade agreed.
“Yeah well guess you’ve never sat next to a piss and shit stank hobo on the F Line cause thats one rank stank, how much level grinding do you even gotta do to get Shit stank master like that guy. How many poop shaped goblins did you kill to get dead cat perfume covered in dog vomit around your neck, thats at least several years of diarrhea on your overcoat and thats just na—”
Dave was cut off by the horrible fart he was holding in, his long winded metaphor making him break wind. An embarassed flush fell over his has as everyone began making pained noises and a cocophony of anguished groans.
“Augh Dave”“DUDE”“I WASNT ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU FART”“MY EYESSS, MY EYESSS” “AW NAST ITS IN MY MOUTH, OPEN THE WINDOWS”“WE CANT OPEN THE WINDOWS”“THIS IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE”“DAVE WHY”
Dave’s embarassment and guilt grew larger when he realized that he didnt just fart, be he sharted in his pants. And the smell grew worse still.
“DAVE THERES NOT ANOTHER EXIT FOR LIKE 40MILES” OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE GOODBYE WORLD, LET IT BE KNOWN JOHN EBERTS DEATH WAS DUE TO MAJOR FLATULENCE”“…I think I’m going to puke.”
Everyone grew silent at that and John and Dave looked at Rose. “Dude Harley she’s gonna heave.” “JADE PULL THE CAR OVER WOW!”
“THERE’S NO WHERE TO PULL OVER ONTO!!”
“Jade this car is about to reach critical level nast mass JUST PULL OVER ANYWHERE.”
But it was too late.
Rose blew chunks of her breakfast burrito all over Jade’s car floor as Dave lifted his legs up onto the seat only to realize he shit right through his pants and onto Harley’s back seat. Everyone was screaming, and everything smelled awful for miles and miles and many more tears were shed.
“Well as least it’s a birthday you’ll never forget!” Jade exclaimed as she sat down in the hotel’s kingsize bed.
“I don’t think I can ever sit in your back seat knowing that our boyfriend fartpooped on it. And then Rose’s throwup also sorta got on the seat, and then Dave threw up seeing Rose throw up an—”
“Let’s…try not to think about that anymore today alright John?” Jade put a hand over John’s mouth as he knodded in agreement. “And let’s try not to make them feel too bad about it okay, I’m pretty sure we already did plenty of that in the car…”
When Dave and Rose got out of the shower John and Jade initiated a large cuddle pile in their kingsize bed and apologized and kissed their boyfriend and girfriend and assured them it wasn’t a big deal. At least they finally got to Vegas right?
John tries to playfully call Dave his shitboyfriend but instead ends up getting the cold shoulder as Dave cuddles in between Jade and Rose.
“Wow okay I see how it is, no love for the birthday boy!”