Aranea Serket knew nothing about gang warfare, or the hypothetical gang affiliations of girls currently getting their rivalry all over her ER. She worked quite diligently to know nothing about these things, which was why she currently had her hands over her ears.
Unfortunately she couldn’t do this and also deal with the fracture in Meenah’s forearm, so eventually she dropped her hands and clapped one of them over Meenah’s mouth instead. Meenah widened her eyes in outrage, and Aranea tightened her hand before Meenah could bite her.
It was 1pm on a Wednesday, so Aranea was the only one on duty and there were no patients besides these two, which was something at least.
“Things I didn’t just hear,” Aranea said loudly, “include all references to the Seadwellers, who are a motorcycle gang I have barely even heard of due to my intensely law abiding ways!”
Vriska slung herself over the edge of the trolley Aranea had planted her on. She had to hold one hand over the blue stain at her hip caused by three trident-shaped gashes, but she managed a limping saunter across the room all the same.
Aranea turned to face her, lifting her chin. “I also heard nothing at all about the Bluebloods, whose terrible criminal ways bring a shudder to my gently reared soul when I hear about them, which is never!”
Vriska rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, coz, plausible deniability is so boring.” She leaned up against Aranea’s side, looking down at Meenah. “Hahahaha, gagged is a really good look on her!”
Meenah ripped her face away from Aranea’s hand, pushing herself up towards Vriska. She must have forgotten she was injured, because she pressed the hand of her broken arm down onto the trolley, then went dead grey and slumped back with a hiss.
“How do you feel aboat another set of fork holes, fishbait?” she gasped through her pain.
Vriska flicked her hair back over her shoulder. “Man, I let you get a hit in because I felt bad for you, Peixes.”
“Hey, zip it, both of you,” Aranea said.
Meenah flicked a glance at her, but still rose up on her knees, remembering not to use her broken arm this time. She tugged at Vriska’s hair, pulling her head forward. “You were sorry for me, fishbait?” she said, twisting her fingers in Vriska’s tangled locks. “You shouldn’t’ve been so koi aboat it! I could’ve told you I wouldn’t pity salmon like you if you were the last troll alive.”
Vriska’s eyes widened. “Ughhhhhhhh, pity, I’m going to break your other arm just for suggesting that!”
“Hey,” Aranea said. She flicked Meenah sharply on the horns, making her jolt and lean back with a wounded expression. Vriska was still draped over Aranea’s shoulder, and Aranea used that to tow her backwards, away from Meenah’s trolley. “While you’re in my ER, you will zip it the fuck up on all topics except those you both agree on!” Aranea tilted her glasses down to glare at each of them over the top of the frames. “I suggest talking about your mutual love and respect for your awesome friend-slash-cousin Aranea Serket, who puts up with your shit when nobody else will! Maybe you could talk about how cute her shoes are, and how awesome her personal style is in general! I bet you could get some mileage out of how much you both admire her amazing work ethic and sense of social responsibility!”
Meenah was chewing on one of the piercings in her lip. “While we’re in your ER?” she asked, eventually. Of all things in the world, Aranea suddenly felt wistful frustration coming from her like a hammer. She couldn’t read Meenah most of the time; fuchsia was way too highblooded. She glanced at Vriska, but her cousin was shielding from her like usual.
“I ... yes,” Aranea said, confused. “Out there I guess you can do what the fuck you want.” She waved a hand. “Just ... just stay where you are. I need to get more gauze and ... just stay, all right.”
She ducked out of the ER and around the corner, leaning against the wall and clenching her hands into frustrated fists. She dropped her head back with a thunk. Ugh, they were impossible. She wished the ER wasn’t the only place she could keep them from each other’s throats. She wished she could ... plant trackers in the backs of their necks, or something.
Kanaya from Paediatrics was coming down the corridor with her nose buried in charts. She lifted her head when she saw Aranea, and hesitated. “Is it Vriska and Meenah again?” she asked, after a moment. “That would be the third time this week.”
Aranea made a face at her. “I know. Ugh, I just. I love them both, but sometimes I hate them. I want to slap both of them upside the head till ... I don’t even know what.”
Kanaya chewed her lip. “Oh dear, this is very discomforting,” she said. “I’m finding it so difficult not to say anything, but it seems like a situation in which my style of meddling could be taken amiss, especially given that Vriska is my moirail. I’m not sure what to do.”
Aranea blinked. She could feel awkwardness coming from Kanaya in waves. “Well, what you’ve said so far is very unhelpful,” she said finally.
Kanaya hesitated again. “I suppose it’s only that ... I don’t believe that they come in because they need medical care. In fact I’m fairly certain that both of them erroneously believe themselves to be immortal, between ourselves.”
“Then why ... oh! Oh.” She blinked again. “But Meenah and I were flushed when we were seven,” she said stupidly.
Kanaya smiled, uncertainly. “You aren’t seven anymore, is I suppose the relevant observation.”
“Oh. They’re really ...? But that’s terrible.” Aranea brought her hands to her cheeks in distress. “If they’re letting their rivalry lead to injury just to come into the ER, I’m the worst auspistice ever.”
Kanaya raised her eyebrows, a kind of polite snark mixing in which her discomfort. “Do you really think that Vriska and Meenah would not injure one another otherwise. That seems unlikely to me. I would say that being ashen for you is the only thing that causes them to seek the medical attention that they do in fact need. They are not truly immortal, though as I said before I think they believe themselves to be so.”
Aranea touched her mouth. “Oh, of course,” she said distantly. She was trying to examine her own feelings. She was a mess about Meenah and Vriska, she always had been, but did she really feel ...
God, yes.
She turned on her heel, fast enough to almost leave skid marks on the floor. She threw open the door to the ER and stepped inside.
As expected, Vriska and Meenah were at each other’s throats again, Vriska’s stab wounds leaking blue once more as she wound one of Meenah’s ratty braids around her fist. Their faces were close together and they were hissing furiously at one another.
Aranea marched over, seized Meenah’s left horn and Vriska’s right, and knocked their heads together.
They let out identical yelps, letting go of one another, and turned to her wide eyed. Vriska was pressing a hand to her side, and Meenah was cradling her arm.
Aranea leaned back, her smile beatific. “Ashen for you,” she said. “You stupid fucking wigglers.”
Meenah leaned back on her good hand, all her tension gone. “Aight,” she said, easy and sweet.
Vriska looked from one to the other of them with a gut-wrenchingly vulnerable expression in her eyes. “Hahahaha, you’re so lame,” she said after a moment. “But all right, I guess if you guys want me that bad. I mean, I guess I’m flattered.”
Meenah lunged forward again. “Who the shell wants you, fishbait?”
Aranea knocked their heads together again.
And for a perfect suspended moment, the whole world made sense.
_______
So, uh, probably you weren’t actually asking for ashen?
FILL: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA
Unfortunately she couldn’t do this and also deal with the fracture in Meenah’s forearm, so eventually she dropped her hands and clapped one of them over Meenah’s mouth instead. Meenah widened her eyes in outrage, and Aranea tightened her hand before Meenah could bite her.
It was 1pm on a Wednesday, so Aranea was the only one on duty and there were no patients besides these two, which was something at least.
“Things I didn’t just hear,” Aranea said loudly, “include all references to the Seadwellers, who are a motorcycle gang I have barely even heard of due to my intensely law abiding ways!”
Vriska slung herself over the edge of the trolley Aranea had planted her on. She had to hold one hand over the blue stain at her hip caused by three trident-shaped gashes, but she managed a limping saunter across the room all the same.
Aranea turned to face her, lifting her chin. “I also heard nothing at all about the Bluebloods, whose terrible criminal ways bring a shudder to my gently reared soul when I hear about them, which is never!”
Vriska rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, coz, plausible deniability is so boring.” She leaned up against Aranea’s side, looking down at Meenah. “Hahahaha, gagged is a really good look on her!”
Meenah ripped her face away from Aranea’s hand, pushing herself up towards Vriska. She must have forgotten she was injured, because she pressed the hand of her broken arm down onto the trolley, then went dead grey and slumped back with a hiss.
“How do you feel aboat another set of fork holes, fishbait?” she gasped through her pain.
Vriska flicked her hair back over her shoulder. “Man, I let you get a hit in because I felt bad for you, Peixes.”
“Hey, zip it, both of you,” Aranea said.
Meenah flicked a glance at her, but still rose up on her knees, remembering not to use her broken arm this time. She tugged at Vriska’s hair, pulling her head forward. “You were sorry for me, fishbait?” she said, twisting her fingers in Vriska’s tangled locks. “You shouldn’t’ve been so koi aboat it! I could’ve told you I wouldn’t pity salmon like you if you were the last troll alive.”
Vriska’s eyes widened. “Ughhhhhhhh, pity, I’m going to break your other arm just for suggesting that!”
“Hey,” Aranea said. She flicked Meenah sharply on the horns, making her jolt and lean back with a wounded expression. Vriska was still draped over Aranea’s shoulder, and Aranea used that to tow her backwards, away from Meenah’s trolley. “While you’re in my ER, you will zip it the fuck up on all topics except those you both agree on!” Aranea tilted her glasses down to glare at each of them over the top of the frames. “I suggest talking about your mutual love and respect for your awesome friend-slash-cousin Aranea Serket, who puts up with your shit when nobody else will! Maybe you could talk about how cute her shoes are, and how awesome her personal style is in general! I bet you could get some mileage out of how much you both admire her amazing work ethic and sense of social responsibility!”
Meenah was chewing on one of the piercings in her lip. “While we’re in your ER?” she asked, eventually. Of all things in the world, Aranea suddenly felt wistful frustration coming from her like a hammer. She couldn’t read Meenah most of the time; fuchsia was way too highblooded. She glanced at Vriska, but her cousin was shielding from her like usual.
“I ... yes,” Aranea said, confused. “Out there I guess you can do what the fuck you want.” She waved a hand. “Just ... just stay where you are. I need to get more gauze and ... just stay, all right.”
She ducked out of the ER and around the corner, leaning against the wall and clenching her hands into frustrated fists. She dropped her head back with a thunk. Ugh, they were impossible. She wished the ER wasn’t the only place she could keep them from each other’s throats. She wished she could ... plant trackers in the backs of their necks, or something.
Kanaya from Paediatrics was coming down the corridor with her nose buried in charts. She lifted her head when she saw Aranea, and hesitated. “Is it Vriska and Meenah again?” she asked, after a moment. “That would be the third time this week.”
Aranea made a face at her. “I know. Ugh, I just. I love them both, but sometimes I hate them. I want to slap both of them upside the head till ... I don’t even know what.”
Kanaya chewed her lip. “Oh dear, this is very discomforting,” she said. “I’m finding it so difficult not to say anything, but it seems like a situation in which my style of meddling could be taken amiss, especially given that Vriska is my moirail. I’m not sure what to do.”
Aranea blinked. She could feel awkwardness coming from Kanaya in waves. “Well, what you’ve said so far is very unhelpful,” she said finally.
Kanaya hesitated again. “I suppose it’s only that ... I don’t believe that they come in because they need medical care. In fact I’m fairly certain that both of them erroneously believe themselves to be immortal, between ourselves.”
“Then why ... oh! Oh.” She blinked again. “But Meenah and I were flushed when we were seven,” she said stupidly.
Kanaya smiled, uncertainly. “You aren’t seven anymore, is I suppose the relevant observation.”
“Oh. They’re really ...? But that’s terrible.” Aranea brought her hands to her cheeks in distress. “If they’re letting their rivalry lead to injury just to come into the ER, I’m the worst auspistice ever.”
Kanaya raised her eyebrows, a kind of polite snark mixing in which her discomfort. “Do you really think that Vriska and Meenah would not injure one another otherwise. That seems unlikely to me. I would say that being ashen for you is the only thing that causes them to seek the medical attention that they do in fact need. They are not truly immortal, though as I said before I think they believe themselves to be so.”
Aranea touched her mouth. “Oh, of course,” she said distantly. She was trying to examine her own feelings. She was a mess about Meenah and Vriska, she always had been, but did she really feel ...
God, yes.
She turned on her heel, fast enough to almost leave skid marks on the floor. She threw open the door to the ER and stepped inside.
As expected, Vriska and Meenah were at each other’s throats again, Vriska’s stab wounds leaking blue once more as she wound one of Meenah’s ratty braids around her fist. Their faces were close together and they were hissing furiously at one another.
Aranea marched over, seized Meenah’s left horn and Vriska’s right, and knocked their heads together.
They let out identical yelps, letting go of one another, and turned to her wide eyed. Vriska was pressing a hand to her side, and Meenah was cradling her arm.
Aranea leaned back, her smile beatific. “Ashen for you,” she said. “You stupid fucking wigglers.”
Meenah leaned back on her good hand, all her tension gone. “Aight,” she said, easy and sweet.
Vriska looked from one to the other of them with a gut-wrenchingly vulnerable expression in her eyes. “Hahahaha, you’re so lame,” she said after a moment. “But all right, I guess if you guys want me that bad. I mean, I guess I’m flattered.”
Meenah lunged forward again. “Who the shell wants you, fishbait?”
Aranea knocked their heads together again.
And for a perfect suspended moment, the whole world made sense.
_______
So, uh, probably you weren’t actually asking for ashen?