"I think this place is haunted," Jade said. "A bunch of weird things have been happening. My stuff keeps getting moved around."
"You've been spending too much time with John," Rose said. "It's just the movers unpacking stuff. Nothing supernatural."
"If you say so," Jade said. She wasn't convinced.
That night Jade woke up to find a pale figure sitting on the end of their bed.
"What kind of lame ass ghost wears sunglasses?" she asked it.
"Whoa, way harsh," the ghost said. "These things are the height of fashion. All the other spooks can't handle me."
"What, did you die in the 80s or something? Is that your deal? Rose wake up, come see our loser ghost."
Rose rubbed the sleep from her eyes as the ghost flipped Jade off and floated through a wall.
"Okay, we can call John in the morning," Rose said.
John showed up with a bag full of electronic doohickeys (Jade assured Rose that was the scientific term for them) in order to capture the evidence of this haunting of theirs.
"There's two kinds of hauntings, residual and intelligent," John explained.
"This one was wearing a Members Only jacket," Rose said. "It can't be intelligent."
"Says the little gothic princess," the ghost remarked, floating out from the kitchen. "Black lipstick is not your color."
John snapped several excited pictures before he realized the ghost wasn't running. He lowered the camera, clearly unsure what to do.
"This is my house too," the ghost explained. "Actually, I was here first so it's more my house than yours."
"That's not how it works," Rose said. "We are the new owners of it, you are simply a spirited squatter."
"Whatever," the ghost said. It stared at the coffee table.
"Was something suppose to happen there?" Jade asked.
"Shut up, I'm not a poltergeist."
"Well obviously," John said. "Poltergeists aren't even real ghosts, they're the manifestations of the spiritual and emotional energy of living people, usually teenage girls-"
"That's not how it works in Harry Potter," Jade said.
"I've told you a million times, Harry Potter is wrong about ghosts," John said. "So wrong."
"Who is calling who a loser here?" the ghost asked.
"Well if you're going to be staying you should at least give us your name!" Jade said.
"Why, going to use it to trap me in some sort of spooky ghost trap thing?"
"Does that actually work?" Jade asked.
"No." The ghost hovered for a moment, thinking. "It's Dave."
"Nice to meet you, Dave," Jade said, holding out her hand. Dave's own passed right through her wrist. John snapped another picture.
"This is awesome," John said.
"Your enthusiasm is cute," Rose said. "But you're not the one that has to live with him."
"Aren't you a bundle of sunshine," Dave said.
"We're going to have to set some ground rules if you're going to be our roommate," Rose said.
"Unfair, I want a ghost roommate," John grumbled.
"You couldn't afford the rent," Rose said.
"Fine, we will make up rules and a chore calendar and then we'll all eat tv dinners and laugh about it," Dave said. "Sound super fucking fun."
"How did you die?" Jade asked.
"Whoa there, you don't ask that sort of thing to a lady on the first date," Dave said. "Uncool."
"Were you murdered?" John asked. "You're sort of annoying, I could see someone murdering you."
"I swear, I will develop telekinetic powers and flip this table right at you," Dave said.
"Cool," John said. He snapped another picture.
It took a few weeks for them to ease into a routine. John was over constantly interrogating Dave about all the different aspects of being a ghost. Dave turned out to be much less knowledgeable about the subject than one might expect.
"Ectoplasm? How the fuck should I know, I just woke up like this one day," Dave said.
"So there's not like, a briefing after you die? No mentoring program?" John asked.
"John, we're trying to sleep, it's two in the morning," Rose said. "Take your ghost for a walk if you must keep chattering."
"You know he can't leave the house," John said.
"I've actually never tried it," Dave said. When they looked at him he shrugged. "Never saw a reason to."
"Okay, you're coming with me for a ghost walk immediately," John said.
"Let me remind you that it is still 2am," Rose said. "You can walk your pet ghost in the morning."
"Dude, not a dog here," Dave said.
John was ushered out the door by Rose and Dave spent the rest of the night sulking in the bathroom, moaning pathetically about how no one appreciated all he did for them whenever Jade got up to get a glass of water. John returned as soon as the sun rose, banging on the doorbell.
"Did you even sleep?" Rose asked him blearily.
"Nope!" he said. "Come on Dave, let's go."
"Hey I want to come too!" Jade said, bouncing brightly into the room. Rose glared at them all.
"I'm going back to bed," she said.
"She hates mornings," Jade stage whispered to the boys.
It turned out Dave was very capable of leaving the house. In the sunlight he turned even more transparent, becoming just a shimmering outline that made everyone they passed do a double take.
"We're freaking out the squares," Dave said.
"This is so cool!" John said. "Man we can have so much fun. You probably haven't seen a movie in ages."
"Mr. Egbert," Dave gasped. "I'll have you know that a lady of my standards does not go with a man to the movies unless she is bought dinner first."
"Can you even eat?" Jade asked.
"Well, no," Dave said. "It's the principle of the thing."
John managed to coerce Dave into coming to see the latest Nic Cage action flick with him that evening. He walked Dave back up to the house from his car and they stood beneath the porch light together.
"Ladies don't kiss on the first date," Dave said.
"Dude, stop being lame," John said, leaning up and smacking his lips against Dave's outline. He mostly caught air but he almost thought he felt a little tingle of ectoplasmic electricity.
"Whooo!" Jade called from the window. "Go John!"
John returned her thumbs up as Dave drifted through the door.
"When are you moving in anyway?" Jade asked.
"As soon as you talk Rose into it," John said.
"I'll work on it," Jade said.
Rose was mad to lose her home office but she came to enjoy having John there and even deigned to kiss him under the mistletoe come holidays. Jade snapped a picture with Dave putting rabbit ears on them in the background.
FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY
"You've been spending too much time with John," Rose said. "It's just the movers unpacking stuff. Nothing supernatural."
"If you say so," Jade said. She wasn't convinced.
That night Jade woke up to find a pale figure sitting on the end of their bed.
"What kind of lame ass ghost wears sunglasses?" she asked it.
"Whoa, way harsh," the ghost said. "These things are the height of fashion. All the other spooks can't handle me."
"What, did you die in the 80s or something? Is that your deal? Rose wake up, come see our loser ghost."
Rose rubbed the sleep from her eyes as the ghost flipped Jade off and floated through a wall.
"Okay, we can call John in the morning," Rose said.
John showed up with a bag full of electronic doohickeys (Jade assured Rose that was the scientific term for them) in order to capture the evidence of this haunting of theirs.
"There's two kinds of hauntings, residual and intelligent," John explained.
"This one was wearing a Members Only jacket," Rose said. "It can't be intelligent."
"Says the little gothic princess," the ghost remarked, floating out from the kitchen. "Black lipstick is not your color."
John snapped several excited pictures before he realized the ghost wasn't running. He lowered the camera, clearly unsure what to do.
"This is my house too," the ghost explained. "Actually, I was here first so it's more my house than yours."
"That's not how it works," Rose said. "We are the new owners of it, you are simply a spirited squatter."
"Whatever," the ghost said. It stared at the coffee table.
"Was something suppose to happen there?" Jade asked.
"Shut up, I'm not a poltergeist."
"Well obviously," John said. "Poltergeists aren't even real ghosts, they're the manifestations of the spiritual and emotional energy of living people, usually teenage girls-"
"That's not how it works in Harry Potter," Jade said.
"I've told you a million times, Harry Potter is wrong about ghosts," John said. "So wrong."
"Who is calling who a loser here?" the ghost asked.
"Well if you're going to be staying you should at least give us your name!" Jade said.
"Why, going to use it to trap me in some sort of spooky ghost trap thing?"
"Does that actually work?" Jade asked.
"No." The ghost hovered for a moment, thinking. "It's Dave."
"Nice to meet you, Dave," Jade said, holding out her hand. Dave's own passed right through her wrist. John snapped another picture.
"This is awesome," John said.
"Your enthusiasm is cute," Rose said. "But you're not the one that has to live with him."
"Aren't you a bundle of sunshine," Dave said.
"We're going to have to set some ground rules if you're going to be our roommate," Rose said.
"Unfair, I want a ghost roommate," John grumbled.
"You couldn't afford the rent," Rose said.
"Fine, we will make up rules and a chore calendar and then we'll all eat tv dinners and laugh about it," Dave said. "Sound super fucking fun."
"How did you die?" Jade asked.
"Whoa there, you don't ask that sort of thing to a lady on the first date," Dave said. "Uncool."
"Were you murdered?" John asked. "You're sort of annoying, I could see someone murdering you."
"I swear, I will develop telekinetic powers and flip this table right at you," Dave said.
"Cool," John said. He snapped another picture.
It took a few weeks for them to ease into a routine. John was over constantly interrogating Dave about all the different aspects of being a ghost. Dave turned out to be much less knowledgeable about the subject than one might expect.
"Ectoplasm? How the fuck should I know, I just woke up like this one day," Dave said.
"So there's not like, a briefing after you die? No mentoring program?" John asked.
"John, we're trying to sleep, it's two in the morning," Rose said. "Take your ghost for a walk if you must keep chattering."
"You know he can't leave the house," John said.
"I've actually never tried it," Dave said. When they looked at him he shrugged. "Never saw a reason to."
"Okay, you're coming with me for a ghost walk immediately," John said.
"Let me remind you that it is still 2am," Rose said. "You can walk your pet ghost in the morning."
"Dude, not a dog here," Dave said.
John was ushered out the door by Rose and Dave spent the rest of the night sulking in the bathroom, moaning pathetically about how no one appreciated all he did for them whenever Jade got up to get a glass of water. John returned as soon as the sun rose, banging on the doorbell.
"Did you even sleep?" Rose asked him blearily.
"Nope!" he said. "Come on Dave, let's go."
"Hey I want to come too!" Jade said, bouncing brightly into the room. Rose glared at them all.
"I'm going back to bed," she said.
"She hates mornings," Jade stage whispered to the boys.
It turned out Dave was very capable of leaving the house. In the sunlight he turned even more transparent, becoming just a shimmering outline that made everyone they passed do a double take.
"We're freaking out the squares," Dave said.
"This is so cool!" John said. "Man we can have so much fun. You probably haven't seen a movie in ages."
"Mr. Egbert," Dave gasped. "I'll have you know that a lady of my standards does not go with a man to the movies unless she is bought dinner first."
"Can you even eat?" Jade asked.
"Well, no," Dave said. "It's the principle of the thing."
John managed to coerce Dave into coming to see the latest Nic Cage action flick with him that evening. He walked Dave back up to the house from his car and they stood beneath the porch light together.
"Ladies don't kiss on the first date," Dave said.
"Dude, stop being lame," John said, leaning up and smacking his lips against Dave's outline. He mostly caught air but he almost thought he felt a little tingle of ectoplasmic electricity.
"Whooo!" Jade called from the window. "Go John!"
John returned her thumbs up as Dave drifted through the door.
"When are you moving in anyway?" Jade asked.
"As soon as you talk Rose into it," John said.
"I'll work on it," Jade said.
Rose was mad to lose her home office but she came to enjoy having John there and even deigned to kiss him under the mistletoe come holidays. Jade snapped a picture with Dave putting rabbit ears on them in the background.
"Best house ever," she said.