“So, you’re Autoresponder?” You stare at him, half shocked half excited. He’s everything you pictured. Sleekly cut blonde hair, shades so pointy they could scratch diamonds, ridiculously short with pixie-like ears that stick out at the side of his head. His eyes are red behind the glass and cold, emotionless with a hardness to them that might unsettle you if you didn’t know him so well.
“Affirmative.” he states, still doing his dorky robot impression that you’ve grown so used to. His nervousness is obvious as he shifts from foot to foot, he’s wearing a white button up shirt and jeans, a suit jacket hangs from his skinny frame and he wears a belt to hold his pants up, they’re clearly too big for him. He’s trying so hard it makes you want to giggle - so you do.
“You’re such a dork!” you snort, putting your arm around his shoulder and chuckling heartily.
“That statement is so incorrect I cannot even formulate a logical response.” he says, his monotone is shaking and his childish anger is slipping through. He’s always like this at first, trying to keep his dumb stoic facade up, but it always fades within minutes and it’s like talking to one of those kids that you used to talk to on xBox live crossed with a stereotypical sassy black woman. He’s pretty much the perfect conversational partner on that level.
“Haha, whatever, loser, you’re lookin’ sleek as fuuuck.” you smirk at him. “Do a twirl, I wanna get my eyes full o’ every angle of your li’l outfit.”
“No.” he says simply, pulling himself from under your arm and placing his hands in his pockets, red eyes fixed on the ground.
“Aw, come on, don’t be such a spoil sport. I’m meetin’ my best online buddy for the first time and you’re not even excited to meet me.” you shake your head in disgust.
“Oh come on, Rox, I am excited to meet you, you know that. I’ve just... Not really had much social contact with people in real life, you know? Like, yeah, talking online is easy as fucking a dead fish, but right now I just feel like I’m gonna say something dumb any moment.” he shrugs, running a hand through his silver blonde hair.
“Somethin’ dumb like ‘easy as fucking a dead fish’?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s a good example. The fuck does that even mean?” he snorts.
“No idea, ell em eff ay oh. Why would you fuck a dead fish, is there something you’re not telling me, Auto? You been cheatin’ on me with the fishies, is that it?” you feign shock, snickering as you do so.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Roxy, they’re just too delicious.” he sighs, covering his face in shame. “I couldn’t resist them, they lured me in, I couldn’t help myself.”
“I guess I will have to give you one more chance, but if you do this again... I guess you could say you’ll be...” you mime putting shades on. “Sleepin’ with the fishies.”
He bursts out laughing and you swoop down and kiss him on the cheek, he blushes and his eyes widen in shock.
“Uhm, yeah, let me show you around my place then, yeah?” he stumbles forward and you stare at his ass as he goes, there’s nothing there but it’s just common courtesy, really.
FILL: TEAM KARKAT <3 VRISKA
“Affirmative.” he states, still doing his dorky robot impression that you’ve grown so used to. His nervousness is obvious as he shifts from foot to foot, he’s wearing a white button up shirt and jeans, a suit jacket hangs from his skinny frame and he wears a belt to hold his pants up, they’re clearly too big for him. He’s trying so hard it makes you want to giggle - so you do.
“You’re such a dork!” you snort, putting your arm around his shoulder and chuckling heartily.
“That statement is so incorrect I cannot even formulate a logical response.” he says, his monotone is shaking and his childish anger is slipping through. He’s always like this at first, trying to keep his dumb stoic facade up, but it always fades within minutes and it’s like talking to one of those kids that you used to talk to on xBox live crossed with a stereotypical sassy black woman. He’s pretty much the perfect conversational partner on that level.
“Haha, whatever, loser, you’re lookin’ sleek as fuuuck.” you smirk at him. “Do a twirl, I wanna get my eyes full o’ every angle of your li’l outfit.”
“No.” he says simply, pulling himself from under your arm and placing his hands in his pockets, red eyes fixed on the ground.
“Aw, come on, don’t be such a spoil sport. I’m meetin’ my best online buddy for the first time and you’re not even excited to meet me.” you shake your head in disgust.
“Oh come on, Rox, I am excited to meet you, you know that. I’ve just... Not really had much social contact with people in real life, you know? Like, yeah, talking online is easy as fucking a dead fish, but right now I just feel like I’m gonna say something dumb any moment.” he shrugs, running a hand through his silver blonde hair.
“Somethin’ dumb like ‘easy as fucking a dead fish’?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s a good example. The fuck does that even mean?” he snorts.
“No idea, ell em eff ay oh. Why would you fuck a dead fish, is there something you’re not telling me, Auto? You been cheatin’ on me with the fishies, is that it?” you feign shock, snickering as you do so.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Roxy, they’re just too delicious.” he sighs, covering his face in shame. “I couldn’t resist them, they lured me in, I couldn’t help myself.”
“I guess I will have to give you one more chance, but if you do this again... I guess you could say you’ll be...” you mime putting shades on. “Sleepin’ with the fishies.”
He bursts out laughing and you swoop down and kiss him on the cheek, he blushes and his eyes widen in shock.
“Uhm, yeah, let me show you around my place then, yeah?” he stumbles forward and you stare at his ass as he goes, there’s nothing there but it’s just common courtesy, really.