(I apologize! Due to the deadline and being REALLY busy the last 24 hours this wound up a bit rushed.But, ah, it was hilarious in my head?)
In a dark warehouse on the industrial side of town Dave Strider is getting his ass kicked by a midget in tights.
It’s a small blessing there’s no one around to see his embarrassing downfall except the machinery and aforementioned midget. The warehouse itself is in a state of disrepair only worsened from the scuffle. His shitty sword is half way across the room and his wings are a mangled mess in the jaws of a crane. The straps attached to his arms traps him midair with them, his legs dangling uselessly and his shades slipping precariously down the bridge of his nose.
A booming voice bursts from the loud speakers. “Do you surrender, feathery asshat?”
Dave quirks an eyebrow. “Really dude you suck at being an archenemy I mean really not even knowing the name of your rival that’s just –“ The crane jerks, swinging him from side to side like a sock in the jaw of a dog.
“Oh my gods can you quit spewing word vomit for five seconds?” It takes a moment for his eyes to focus, but he spies his rival across the room, safely tucked away in the main control room. He can see the smirk on his face.
“You know I don’t even need you to surrender. It’s a given fact at this point. You’ve been bested, Dave Strider! And now the whole world will know that you’re just a pathetic –“ There’s a creek and a sound like footsteps, but Karkat doesn’t notice. “- wanna-be hero. I’ll take pictures of this moment and send it to every newspaper across the country so everyone will know that Dave Strider, the great Flash-Step, is so incompetent as to be defeat and thus is hardly –“ Dave hears them now, closer. “-fit to protect this city! Soon your adoring fans will abandon you and you want to know who will be there for them when this city needs someone? You want to know who will step up in this city’s darkest hour? That will be me! The Blood Knight, and I–“
“Karkat!”
“David.”
“Tez!?”
“Hello, ladies.” And Dave raises a hand, waggling his fingers at the girls standing below him. His sister and best friend alternate between glaring at him and Karkat, who has sunk down below the console as if that can hide him. Rose is in full hero regalia, cloak and mask, but Terezi is still in her school uniform. Dave notices she’s carrying his and Karkat’s bookbags, which they’d abandoned in their lockers.
Rose’s fingers drum impatiently on her arm and Terezi sniffs the air. Abruptly, Terezi points toward the control room. “He’s up there,” she says. “Karkat Vantas, get down here!”
“God damn it, do the words ‘secret identity’ mean anything to you?”
“He’s not coming down,” Terezi says very matter of factly.
“Mm,” Rose hums, looking up at her brother. Raising her voice, she calls, “We’ve told you two to stop sparing during school hours, much less in public places. Do you realize how bad this would have appeared if you had been caught by some unsuspecting construction worker who just wanders on through on his way to enjoy a thoroughly unsatisfying early lunch.”
“This warehouse hasn’t been used in months! I checked!”
Her eyes snap up to the control room, and Dave spies the top of Karkat’s cloaked head. He glances down, meets Rose’s eyes, and quickly ducks back under the control console. “Karkat,” Rose yells, her voice terse. “Gently set Dave down, please.”
“What if I don’t? What are you going to do –“ Dave feels the chill in the air before he sees it. The shadows are moving. Karkat must notice it too, because he quiets. It only takes a second before he’s standing again, scowling down at them. He’s scowling as he fiddles with the crane controls.
“Thank you,” Rose calls, eerily polite for a girl who just began calling on the powers of Eldritch abominations.
“Fuck you too Lalonde.”
“As for you, David.” Rose glares at him all the way until Karkat deposits him on the floor in a heap of ruined machinery and tattered clothes. “Are you perhaps forgetting a little something you agreed to do besides not fighting in the middle of supposedly abandoned warehouses?”
Dave really tries to wrack his brain when his eyes land on a book poking out of Terezi’s book bag. “Shit, Tez, I’m –“
She hits him, hard, over the head with his copy of Chemistry 101. “You fill out both of our reports and we’ll call it even, cool kid,” she cackles, and drops the book in front of him. Her and Rose loop arms and start for the door, and she calls over her shoulder, “And don’t even think you’re getting anywhere near my choice ass for a few days, Karkat! You knew the rules.”
Karkat curses as he pulls himself up beside Dave. They watch the ladies saunter out, perfectly in step. Neither of them have to say a word to agree that they hate dealing with a psychopath – in every sense of the word. Rose isn’t much better. Dave kicks his wings and Karkat pouts to himself, teeth bared.
“This is your fault,” he murmurs at Dave. “You’re the one who suggested we spar.”
“Shut it.” Dave kneels down and picks up the book, waving it at Karkat. “This is how it’s going to go down. We truce, and this never happened. You do my and Tezs’ chemistry and I’ll get her back in your bed. I walk away with my dignity intact and you get the girl. Deal?”
FILL: TEAM dave♠karkat♥terezi♥dave
In a dark warehouse on the industrial side of town Dave Strider is getting his ass kicked by a midget in tights.
It’s a small blessing there’s no one around to see his embarrassing downfall except the machinery and aforementioned midget. The warehouse itself is in a state of disrepair only worsened from the scuffle. His shitty sword is half way across the room and his wings are a mangled mess in the jaws of a crane. The straps attached to his arms traps him midair with them, his legs dangling uselessly and his shades slipping precariously down the bridge of his nose.
A booming voice bursts from the loud speakers. “Do you surrender, feathery asshat?”
Dave quirks an eyebrow. “Really dude you suck at being an archenemy I mean really not even knowing the name of your rival that’s just –“ The crane jerks, swinging him from side to side like a sock in the jaw of a dog.
“Oh my gods can you quit spewing word vomit for five seconds?” It takes a moment for his eyes to focus, but he spies his rival across the room, safely tucked away in the main control room. He can see the smirk on his face.
“You know I don’t even need you to surrender. It’s a given fact at this point. You’ve been bested, Dave Strider! And now the whole world will know that you’re just a pathetic –“ There’s a creek and a sound like footsteps, but Karkat doesn’t notice. “- wanna-be hero. I’ll take pictures of this moment and send it to every newspaper across the country so everyone will know that Dave Strider, the great Flash-Step, is so incompetent as to be defeat and thus is hardly –“ Dave hears them now, closer. “-fit to protect this city! Soon your adoring fans will abandon you and you want to know who will be there for them when this city needs someone? You want to know who will step up in this city’s darkest hour? That will be me! The Blood Knight, and I–“
“Karkat!”
“David.”
“Tez!?”
“Hello, ladies.” And Dave raises a hand, waggling his fingers at the girls standing below him. His sister and best friend alternate between glaring at him and Karkat, who has sunk down below the console as if that can hide him. Rose is in full hero regalia, cloak and mask, but Terezi is still in her school uniform. Dave notices she’s carrying his and Karkat’s bookbags, which they’d abandoned in their lockers.
Rose’s fingers drum impatiently on her arm and Terezi sniffs the air. Abruptly, Terezi points toward the control room. “He’s up there,” she says. “Karkat Vantas, get down here!”
“God damn it, do the words ‘secret identity’ mean anything to you?”
“He’s not coming down,” Terezi says very matter of factly.
“Mm,” Rose hums, looking up at her brother. Raising her voice, she calls, “We’ve told you two to stop sparing during school hours, much less in public places. Do you realize how bad this would have appeared if you had been caught by some unsuspecting construction worker who just wanders on through on his way to enjoy a thoroughly unsatisfying early lunch.”
“This warehouse hasn’t been used in months! I checked!”
Her eyes snap up to the control room, and Dave spies the top of Karkat’s cloaked head. He glances down, meets Rose’s eyes, and quickly ducks back under the control console. “Karkat,” Rose yells, her voice terse. “Gently set Dave down, please.”
“What if I don’t? What are you going to do –“ Dave feels the chill in the air before he sees it. The shadows are moving. Karkat must notice it too, because he quiets. It only takes a second before he’s standing again, scowling down at them. He’s scowling as he fiddles with the crane controls.
“Thank you,” Rose calls, eerily polite for a girl who just began calling on the powers of Eldritch abominations.
“Fuck you too Lalonde.”
“As for you, David.” Rose glares at him all the way until Karkat deposits him on the floor in a heap of ruined machinery and tattered clothes. “Are you perhaps forgetting a little something you agreed to do besides not fighting in the middle of supposedly abandoned warehouses?”
Dave really tries to wrack his brain when his eyes land on a book poking out of Terezi’s book bag. “Shit, Tez, I’m –“
She hits him, hard, over the head with his copy of Chemistry 101. “You fill out both of our reports and we’ll call it even, cool kid,” she cackles, and drops the book in front of him. Her and Rose loop arms and start for the door, and she calls over her shoulder, “And don’t even think you’re getting anywhere near my choice ass for a few days, Karkat! You knew the rules.”
Karkat curses as he pulls himself up beside Dave. They watch the ladies saunter out, perfectly in step. Neither of them have to say a word to agree that they hate dealing with a psychopath – in every sense of the word. Rose isn’t much better. Dave kicks his wings and Karkat pouts to himself, teeth bared.
“This is your fault,” he murmurs at Dave. “You’re the one who suggested we spar.”
“Shut it.” Dave kneels down and picks up the book, waving it at Karkat. “This is how it’s going to go down. We truce, and this never happened. You do my and Tezs’ chemistry and I’ll get her back in your bed. I walk away with my dignity intact and you get the girl. Deal?”
They shake. “Deal, fuckass.”