You're Dave Motherfucking Strider. You never look or act shocked, even after you discover yourself stripped down to your underwear in bed with a crabby little fuckwit in an equal state of nudity. Karkat, on the other hand, completely fails to be rational and is starting to flail wildly, getting himself tangled up in the sheets. In his haste to flee the bed, he only manages to fall face-first out of it with a crash that knocks a bottle off your nightstand.

You have a sudden flashback to Karkat drunkenly slamming down that empty whiskey bottle as you flop backwards onto your bed in a sprawl that feels so fucking sexy. Your adam's apple bobs as you down the last swig from your own bottle, and when Karkat drops to his hands and knees on the bed, you let it fall to the mattress beside you. Oh fuck were Karkat's eyes hot, half-lidded and full of promise.

Oh.

[Show Dialogue]

KARKAT: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OWWWW
DAVE: wow no dude calm down
KARKAT: NO. I REFUSE TO "CALM DOWN." DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW OUT OF CHARACTER THIS IS FOR ME? I DON'T FUCKING PARTY LIKE THAT. I DON'T FUCKING DRINK LIKE THAT, AND I DON'T FUCKING END UP ENGAGING IN CALIGINOUS RELATIONS WITH DRUNKEN ***HUMANS***.
DAVE: so we did fuck then
DAVE: sweet

Karkat: Try to recall the chain of events that led you here.