(Sorry if this isn't that great D: )

___________________________

"People really invite other humans to these sick displays of affection?"

"Course they do, idiot. That's like half the point of a wedding."

"How do I know you're not going to lead me into a humilating trap?"

"Because the invitation's from Jake and he never thinks that far ahead."

"Why would the Jake Human even invite me?"

"Hell if I know. Maybe he's got a weakness for assholes."

"You-- WHAT THE FUCK, DIRK. YOU'RE GOING OVER THE SPEED LIMIT."

"It's only ten miles over."

"I KNEW IT. THIS IS A NEFARIOUS TRAP TO KILL ME."

"Shut up man! I'm not trying to kill you! If I killed you I'd be down a hatedate to the wedding! I'm not gonna lose my pride by going without a date!"

"... I will concede to that point."