hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 2

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

The Return of Round Robin Fanadventures

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

Hi shippers! Welcome to Bonus Round 2.
Round Robin Fanadventures generated so much awesome stuff last year that we decided to bring it back!

For those who are new to HSO, this is not actually that complicated a concept, but it might be a little tricky to explain, so bear with me. The point of this round is to create a bunch of fanadventures that are for a team other than your own.

Rules

If you are starting a new adventure: start a new thread using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art setting a scene (or both!), and finish with a command (==> does not count as a command for new threads). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
If you are continuing an adventure: find a thread that does not center around your team's ship. Then comment using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art continuing the scene (or both!), and finish with a command (this can include ==>, though generally we would prefer otherwise). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
For ease of reading, we suggest using standardized image sizes. 600x400 landscape is a pretty good size! But as long as it's the same as the other images in the thread, people will have an easier time following along. The HTML for inserting images is <img src="http://yourimageurlhere.com">
For this challenge, there is no minimum wordcount. We are trusting you not to abuse that fact!
You may not comment twice in a row in one adventure. The point is to hand off the scene like a hot potato.
You may not introduce or create for your team's ship into a fanadventure. If someone else introduces your team's ship to a thread, you can still contribute to that thread so long as your contributions do not involve your ship.
This challenge will run until 11:59PM EDT July 7. After that time, even if it's just by a minute according to the LJ timestamp, no submissions will be accepted for points.

NOTES:

Audio posts are fine, so long as you include a transcript.
Please make sure to check that your titles are correct!
You may answer commands that have already been answered. Think of it like a 'choose your own adventure' game!

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [THEIR SHIP] with the ship you want this particular fanadventure thread to be. Remember that you cannot create a fanadventure based on your own ship. Whatever ship you choose must be represented by a HSO team not your own. The only exception is gen adventures, which are permitted.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with. If your team name is not in this format and in the title it may not be counted.

If you are continuing a thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [COMMAND] with whatever command the previous fill has specified.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your title is not in this format it may not be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
(as stated here)
First 5 entries per team: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+: 5 (per entry)

All fanadventure content must be created new for this round.

We would prefer that any questions about this challenge or anything else in the HSO be emailed to us at homestuck.shipping AT gmail!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

"Stop. Stop! Jegus nookstuffing fuck, do not even think about moving, or...Kanaya, don't you dare start up that chainsaw!"

Kanaya freezes mid-pull, perfectly-lipsticked mouth in a fierce scowl.

"And Gamzee, you put that right the fuck down," you turn and snap at your moirail, who still has his club raised threateningly. He shrinks back a little. "You two are going to step away from that cake or so help me I will change the menu for this wedding dinner and the main course will be you, with a big garnish of settle the fuck down."

You glare at each of them in them in turn. Gamzee looks a little more apologetic than Kanaya, so you let him speak first. "What happened this time? Gamzee?" You rub at your temples, and Kanaya captchalogs her chainsaw, looking angry.

"I was just trying to help a sister out," Gamzee begins, but Kanaya interrupts.

"I am trying to ready everything for the photographers. I am perfectly capable of doing my job. I do not know why I would require the 'help' of a troll who willingly goes out of his hive in those pants."

Gamzee's lip twitches up, displaying some fang.

Past Kanaya: Be interrupted by a juggalo.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are SWORN OFF DRINKING FOREVER. You lift a hand to your head, brushing aside your bangs, and groan. There is an undeniable ache in your skull, the aftermath of a night of severely rude partying. So rude, in fact, the neighbours threatened to call the police unless you turned the music down. Twice.

Your arm is wedged under something heavy and warm. If you opened your eyes, you would likely realise that 'something' is one KARKAT VANTAS, troll table-dancer extraordinaire. You may or may not have engaged him in a round of fumbling makeouts while intoxicated.

You don't currently remember this as you are busy breathing deeply and regretting emptying the bottle of vodka that sits a few centimetres from your drowsy form.

Dave: Stop whining about your hangover

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM and you are currently attempting to design the costumes for this year’s DOLOROSA HIGH SCHOOL PRODUCTION. Such productions are famed to be the most incredible musicals for miles around and you are honoured to be chosen for such an important job, clinging to your duty like a bead of sweat to EQUIUS ZAHHAK’s brow in summer, hoping and praying that you will be able to pull this thing off.

However, your matesprit, ROSE LALONDE’s role as the protagonist and her character’s promiscuous nature has been driving you to distraction this whole time. You are becoming increasingly green with envy. Or jade with envy, you might say, if you were amused by dumb and obvious puns.

She is currently engrossed in a scene with ERIDAN AMPORA, her main romantic interest in the play. Just look at that tender face touch. Despicable.

>Kanaya: Try to concentrate on task at hand

Edited 2012-06-24 17:16 (UTC)

You are trying to! It's not like you want to listen to his shouting, you want to lick your dragon sized Popsicle in peace! You half listen to what he says and then grow very bored. You notice that he is wearing a lot more grey than he normally does, maybe that's why he's so grumpy? If he were you, which he's not, you would be grumpy to! Covering such wonderful smelling candy red with bleh grey would make anyone shouty and mad! Maybe he just needs some more color in his life!

Speak of the devil!
Terezi: Examine colorful creature who's just appeared

You pull a blanket from under the sleeping troll's dead weight, yanking it side to side as you attempt to forcefully free it from under him.

He doesn't bat an alien eyelash as you toss the covers over him and straighten it so it covers him from head to toe, just drools a bit.

Well, that's your civic duty done.

You prod at his feet so they are tucked closer to his body, giving you room to sit on the edge of your couch, and wonder how to spend your afterlife.

Dave: Watch Maury or something

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you are currently waiting for your friend KANAYA MARYAM to open her door and allow you and your close friend, JADE HARLEY entrance to her hive. You ignore how innuendo-like your previous statement sounds and continue to patiently await Kanaya's grand opening, which will certainly be spectacular, she is a perfect host.

The door is opened and the two of you are ushered inside by Kanaya, with all the grace of a swan, not only a swan, infact, but a goddess swan, reigning over all other swans with beauty and power. Goddamn, is she attractive.

The three of you sit down in the small seating area and are faced by a slight awkward silence.

>Jade: Make small talk

Edited 2012-06-24 17:24 (UTC)

You fail to stop whining about your hangover.

However, your complaining is disturbed by a certain grumpy troll, who is in a state very similar to your own. He seems more than prepared to begin complaining about his own think pan, filled with pangs of remorse and mind-numbing pain. Disappointing everyone, he notices your presence beside you and is knocked from his stream of boring, grouchy anger. His outburst causes you to open your eyes, something you instantly regret.

[Show Dialogue]

KARKAT: NO.
DAVE: hell no
KARKAT: HELL FUCKING NO.

>Dave and Karkat: Stop being shocked and sort this out rationally

(((I hope this is allowed)))

You are NEPETA and you are a CAT.

You are fond of many things, such as YARN and TUNA and BELLS. You enjoy roleplaying. Even though you are a house cat, you often go on hunting adventures while pretending that you are a wild predator. Rawr!

Unfortunately, one of your hunting schemes went wrong and now you are STUCK on a TREE.

What will you do?

>Nepeta: Cry for help.

==> Nepeta: Attack your prey.

By attack, you actually mean JUMPSQUISHTACKLEHUG, are you gracefully land on top of your favourite blind troll girl.

You have not seen her in a long while, and it has been rather sad. From time to time, you make a small wish that she would magically show up at your doorstep, offering to play a game or even to just sit and chat, because from what you learnt after all this time was that Terezi was an awfurry interesting troll, and definitely had some interesting stories to tell.

NEPETA: :33 < *ac furriously tears apart the teal blooded troll!!*

TEREZI: H4H4H4 TH4TS CUT3 L31JON... NOW M4Y 1 4SK WHY YOU 4R3 NUZZL1NG MY N3CK >:?

NEPETA: :33 < aw terezi you didnt answer back like you usually do!

TEREZI: SORRY N3P3T4... 1 H4V3 JUST H4D 1 LOT ON MY M1ND

Well that was a bit of a surprise. Usually Terezi is never down like this. You wonder what could have pawsibly gotten into her!

You believe this is time for a little bit of detective work. But first, you gotta ch33r her up some!

What will you do?

==> Nepeta: Be the teal blooded troll.

YOU HAVE 36 DAYS OF SERVICE LEFT

That was rather disappointing. Oh, wait. Another message awaits you.

JOHN: dave.

JOHN: dave i can see your stupid face from here!

JOHN: haha you're actually wearing the ben stiller shades!

JOHN: i'll just go rough up this muscle-y guy over here and get my nose broken so our re-enactment of starsky & hutch will be 100% accurate.

DAVE: the things you do for me john

JOHN: i know, i'm a keeper.

DAVE: but seriously where are you right now

DAVE: im not gonna lie

DAVE: the fact that you can see me but i can see you is a little unnerving

DAVE: and yet eerily nostalgic

JOHN: you'd think it would be obvious by now!

JOHN: i'm making such a scene it's unreal!

DAVE: oh

DAVE: OH

>Dave: Observe the scene that is being made

Edited 2012-06-24 18:14 (UTC)

You look at the floor, suddenly shy. You tentatively reach out, taking Gamzee's hand in yours, and the softness of his palm makes your heart contract with fierce affection.

You can feel yourself blushing. You can't believe you're about to say what you're about to say. "Do...do you want to talk?" Your eyes flick back up to Gamzee's face, and the grateful look in his eyes makes something squirm pleasantly in your stomach.

"Yeah," he replies, voice breaking. "I've up and done a lot of bad things."

Oh, it hurts. You should have been there from the beginning, should have recognized Gamzee's solicitations for what they were. You fall against his chest, the thrum of his blood-pusher calming your breathing where it was beginning to be panicky. The weight of his arm as it comes to rest on your shoulders is almost too beautiful.

It's all so helplessly romantic. You don't even know what to do with yourself. Would it be too forward to suggest a pile already? Oh gosh, you're not sure. Maybe you should wait?

Karkat: No, no, no! Invite Gamzee to make a pile with you.

==> KARKAT: EXTRICATE SELF FROM BUCKET.

You would do it, you really would, but you feel so damn ashamed of yourself, you suppose that this overtly disgusting form of self-punishment and humiliation is probably the best way to remind your self that YES, YOU ARE A FUCK-UP.

You take it off anyway.

Placing it down beside you, you knock it wayside a little with a gentle (READ: ridiculously infuriated) kick, and proceed to plop your self down with all the grace of a tyrian blood. But not really. If you honestly think a single molecule in your body could possibly possess grace at this moment in time then damn you, you need someone to recalibrate your thinkpan.

You really want to talk to John. You really, really do. You want to cry and beg and grovel until he forgives you, but HOLY SHIT, that is way OUT OF CHARACTER.

So instead, you sit and stare at your CELLULAR COMMUNICATIONS DEVICE, praying to the stars that the previously-considered-annoying-but-would-now-be-glorious beeping noise characterised by the "ONE UNREAD MESSAGE" sign would go off.

Any day now.

Any second now.

Really, before the 12th Perigee's Eve, for fuck's sakes.

You only barely resist the urge to throw the damn thing against the wall, before suddenly, the useless technological lump of refurbished metal chunks in your hand dings.

Great, you wonder who it could be.

==> KARKAT: Answer the message.

Running for your life
From Kanaya Maryam.

She's brandishing her chainsaw.
It's Kanaya Maryam.
Lurking in the shadows.
grimAuxiliatrix Kanaya Maryam!
Living in the sun,
Kanaya Maryam.
Killing for sport,
Kanaya Maryam.

Sucking all the bodies
Actual, rainbow drinker Kanaya Maryam!

Karkat: Lose sight of her.

Edited (did subject title wrong) 2012-06-24 18:32 (UTC)

You're Dave Motherfucking Strider. You never look or act shocked, even after you discover yourself stripped down to your underwear in bed with a crabby little fuckwit in an equal state of nudity. Karkat, on the other hand, completely fails to be rational and is starting to flail wildly, getting himself tangled up in the sheets. In his haste to flee the bed, he only manages to fall face-first out of it with a crash that knocks a bottle off your nightstand.

You have a sudden flashback to Karkat drunkenly slamming down that empty whiskey bottle as you flop backwards onto your bed in a sprawl that feels so fucking sexy. Your adam's apple bobs as you down the last swig from your own bottle, and when Karkat drops to his hands and knees on the bed, you let it fall to the mattress beside you. Oh fuck were Karkat's eyes hot, half-lidded and full of promise.

Oh.

[Show Dialogue]

KARKAT: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OWWWW
DAVE: wow no dude calm down
KARKAT: NO. I REFUSE TO "CALM DOWN." DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW OUT OF CHARACTER THIS IS FOR ME? I DON'T FUCKING PARTY LIKE THAT. I DON'T FUCKING DRINK LIKE THAT, AND I DON'T FUCKING END UP ENGAGING IN CALIGINOUS RELATIONS WITH DRUNKEN ***HUMANS***.
DAVE: so we did fuck then
DAVE: sweet

Karkat: Try to recall the chain of events that led you here.

Edited 2012-06-24 18:38 (UTC)

You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply before breaking away in embarrassment.

Karkat: WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO FIX YOUR HAIR IF IT MESSES UP WHE YOU SWIM.

Eridan: wwell its the thought that counts

You stare at him again for a few moments.

Karkat: GOD, I PITY YOUR DUMBASS SO MUCH.

> Eridan: Respond.

Edited 2012-06-25 09:11 (UTC)

You open up pesterchum to find lines of blue text already awaiting you.

--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:13--
EB: rose!
EB: has your mom told you the news?
EB: if not you should probably get your ass off the computer and ask because it is kind of a really big deal.
TT: By “news,” I’m assuming you mean the upcoming marriage of my mother and your father?
EB: yeah!
EB: it’ll be great. we will be like brother and sister.
TT: That certainly is a thought to entertain. Have I need to learn any Egbertian family traditions?
TT: Will it be necessary for me to assume the “protective older sister” rule?
EB: i am only four months younger, geez. 
EB: but if you guys are coming to live with us, i guess the only rule is to be ready at all times! me and my dad often have prank-offs.
TT: I imagine those can get rather deadly.
EB: depends, i guess.
TT: I must admit I’m feeling pretty off put by that sentence.
EB: hehe.
EB: also, i hope you have a taste for cake! i will totally be relying on you to eat all of mine.
TT: I’m indifferent. Wouldn’t it be better to just politely deny?
TT: Either or, you’ve been through years of the stuff.
EB: don’t remind me.
EB: anyways, i’m going to talk to dad about this! see how he feels and all. 
EB: later, rose!
--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:25—

John: Talk to Dad.

Edited 2012-06-24 18:43 (UTC)

"Terezi."

Slurp. Slurp.

"Terezi."

Slurp. Slurp. Slurp.

"Goddammit Terezi, are you listening to me?!"

She turns her giant dragon head and looks at you.

"Thank you. Do you think you could perhaps tone down that fucking slurping a little bit? Maybe just a teensy smidge? Some of us are stuck in giant towers indefinitely until some hateful piece of shit comes to rescue them and they would really appreciate a little peace and quiet in the meantime! Especially since I'm doing all of this for you, in case you'd fucking forgotten."

The problem with yelling at your ex-matesprit-turned-dragon is that she can't really respond to you with anything other than enthusiastic licking.

The really sad thing is, that's basically the same thing she used to do when she was human. God, you have terrible taste in matesprits. Your taste kismeses is going to be so much better.

For now, though, Terezi licks your tower window. You narrowly escape getting covered in GROSS DRAGON SLOBBER. Fuck this shit, at least when she was human she didn't drool enough to drench entire windows.

She sniffs, and then turns her giant dragon head to look off at something approaching in the distance. What could it be?

Terezi: Observe newcomer.

You look around frantically trying to spot her. You aren't worried, no not you! Someone great like you doesn't get worried about things like her best friend pulling her leg, or running off and leaving before she arrived.

You glance around through the crowds of people, there are so many, you didn't think it be so hard to spot her though, since you knew what she looked like.

> Kanaya: Be behind Vriska.

>Feferi: Maybe you should get everything straightened out first.

Let's see. You're dead. So someone must've killed you. Well! That isn't the most important thing right now. The most important thing right now is what do you do now that you're dead? Oh! Your friend, Aradia knows a lot about that! Maybe you should go find her.

==> Feferi: Seek out Aradia

Small warning for mentions of PTSD.

==> JOHN: Have a nightmare.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and one month ago you managed to SAVE THE WORLD.

Along with your three best buds, ROSE LALONDE, DAVE STRIDER, and JADE HARLEY, you managed to cross dimensions, befriend aliens, ecto-biologically birth your family and friends, and destroy one ridiculous powerful monster.

It was a lot for any boy to handle, especially as a birthday present, and especially considering you were 13 YEARS OLD.

The doctors called it POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, but you could never tell them what for, exactly.

You twist the blankets around you despite the fact that you are sweating profusely, and you pant. You wish your DAD was here, but he isn't.

Your only source of refuge is the PDA in your hand, with the light glow emanating from its screen, you shakily search for the contacts list, praying that anyone, anyone at all, is on.

You see the chumhandle of one KARKAT VANTAS.

You click it.

==> KARKAT: Be pestered by John.

You can't let him have it because the asshole just hung up on you.

This is an embarrassing routine. Fortunately, this is radio, after all, and you didn't become legitimately well-liked and respected by being professional and levelheaded all the time. You can adroitly stir drama the drama-stirring time is nigh. Plus the listeners probably already think that you are waxing black for that douche. Which is false! But if you've learned anything in your years of showbiz, it's that everyone but you (and Nepeta) are bad at shipping, and Ampora is the worst. If there was some kind of shipping olympics, which is a ludicrous idea, Ampora would come shambling in dead last.

However, it's not as if you haven't tried to help the poor bastard. You already send one (1) large package of lightly-used fictional shipping instructional videos, otherwise known as romcoms. Looks like you may have to send another. The shipping learning curve is, apparently, steep.

>Karkat: Choose some instructional videos to send to that jerkwad.

Your name is JADE HARLEY and you're currently scampering through the woods without a care in the world.

You're on your way to bring some treats for your sick old grandpa. Your guardian, Bec, stayed behind. You're totally on your own now!! And you're having the time of your life. The forest is such a neat place, but Bec doesn't let you go in it much, because there are supposedly hungry animals and mean people that roam around there.

Your traipsing is halted when a hooded figure suddenly emerges from behind a tree.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER: sup lil pup

Uh oh. You're not really supposed to talk to strangers.

What will you do?

Jade: Examine stranger

You're trying, you really are, but it's just so hard to watch Rose be so tender with Eridan. He isn't a bad person, but he does tend to be very prone to misinterpreting romantic signals. Plus there was that one time where he DESTROYED HALF THE PROP TABLE, and with it, got rid of the antique ornamental orbs passed down to you by your mother.

So just... Fuck that guy.

But you have things to do! Important things! They can only rehearse those tender face touches in their street clothes for so long, and the only thing more awful to you then the idea of Rose flirting with Ampora is the idea of Rose and Ampora flirting in front of an entire crowd of people watching them flirt with no costumes to make it clear to the plebeians that they are simply playing a roll.

>Kanaya: Look over your initial design sketches.

Edited 2012-06-24 19:25 (UTC)

Oops.
Kanaya Maryam is here.

Karkat
What Are You Doing In The Middle Of The Woods
FUCK THAT, ME FIRST. I GET TO ASK QUESTIONS FIRST.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS? WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD? IS IT GRUBSAUCE? PLEASE TELL ME IT'S GRUBSAUCE.
Very Well
It Is Grubsauce
REALLY?
No
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
You Smell Very Nice Today

How did you fuck up this badly. It must have been past you. Fuck that guy.

>Karkat: Be past you

Edited 2012-06-24 19:38 (UTC)

Ah, of course. It's not from your erstwhile FLUSHCRUSH, but from his sister, JADE HARLEY.

You're sort of scared to look, but, realizing nothing worse can possibly befall you at this point, you gamely click on.

JADE: i hope you realize you are a big smelly butt mister!!!! : ( where did you run off to now??? D:

KARKAT: HARLEY, I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT LOW. MY PESTULANT VITUPERATIVE FACE DESERVES NOT TO BE SEEN BY THE LIKES OF YOU. LEAVE ME TO FESTER AND ROT IN THE GROVELING WRITHING SHAMEPIT I SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY DUG MYSELF INTO.

==>KARKAT: Look at life. Look at choices.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 5 of 42

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

Karkat: Interfere before the cake is ruined. (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3<KARKAT)

New [Dave<3Karkat] Game (FILL: TEAM [Davesprite<3Karkat])

New [Kanaya <3 Rose] Game (FILL:TEAM [Karkat <3 Vriska])

Terezi: Figure out what's bothering your shouty friend (FILL: ERIDAN<3ROXY)

Dave: Retrieve blanket (FILL: TEAM Davesprite<3Karkat)

>Guests: Arrive (Fill: TEAM Karkat <3 Vriska)

>Dave: Stop whining about your hangover (FILL:TEAM [Karkat <3 Vriska])

New Equius<>Nepeta Game (FILL: TEAM Bro<3Dave)

==> Nepeta: Attack your prey. (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

Re: New [John<3Dave] Game (FILL: TEAM English)

Karkat: Initiate feelings jam. (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3<KARKAT)

==> KARKAT: EXTRICATE SELF FROM BUCKET. (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

>Karkat: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. (FILL: TEAM VRISKA<>JOHN)

Dave and Karkat: Stop being shocked and sort this out rationally (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3<KARKAT)

> Karkat: Express feelings. (FILL: Team Karkat<3Karkat)

Rose: Pester John. - Mom/Dad (FILL: TEAM DIRK<>ROXY)

Karkat: Talk to Terezi. (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

> Vriska: Look for Kanaya. (Karkat<3Karkat)

>Feferi: Maybe you should get everything straightened out first. (FILL: TEAM EQUIUS<3ERIDAN)

New JOHN<3KARKAT Game (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

==>Karkat: Let him have it. (FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY)

New Gen Game (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE)

Kanaya: Try to concentrate on task at hand (FILL: TEAM GAMZEE♥KARKAT)

>Karkat: Lose sight of her. (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3ROSE<3TEREZI))

==>KARKAT: Answer the message. (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3ROSE<3TEREZI)