hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.

Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!

You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.

Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dave♥Terezi, Harlequin Romance + Buddy Cops!

(the most staggeringly erotic thing ive ever written, no competition at all)
~

And she froze there, her womanly curves silhouetted in the doorway by the neon lights of the marijuana farm before her. Her powerful pistol was erect in her hands, one finger pitilessly caressing the trigger, the only one in control of its ruthless release.

STR1D3R, she vocalised dominantly, the husky tones of her voice as consternatingly erotic as they were authoritative, 1 4M GO1NG TO 3NT3R TH1S ROOM

1 4M GO1NG TO P3N3TR4T3 D33P 1NTO 1TS MO1ST 4ND HUM1D D3PTHS

4T F1RST SLOWLY, 4LLOW1NG TH3 CR1M1N4LS W1TH1N TO TR3MBL1NGLY 4NT1C1P4T3 MY 4RR1V4L, TH31R T3NS1ON MOUNT1NG W1TH 3V3RY STRONG 4ND S3LF-4SSUR3D ST3P 1 T4K3

BUT TH3N F4ST3R, F4ST3R 1 W1LL RUN! YOU W1LL QU1V3R 4S D4RK BULL3T 4FT3R BULL3T 3XPLOD3S FORC3FULLY FROM TH3 HOT 4ND THROBBING H34D OF MY P1STOL, STR41GHT 1NTO TH3 SOFT 4ND D3F3NC3L3SS 1NN4RDS OF V4R1OUS M4R41JU4N4 M4NUF4CTUR1NG M1SCR34NTS!

4S SPURTS OF HOT, W3T BLOOD 4ND V1SC3R4 TR1CKL3 S3NSUOUSLY DOWN TH3 PL4N3S OF YOUR F4C3, YOU W1LL F1ND YOURS3LF OV3RCOM3 BY TH3 URG3 TO JO1N M3 1N TH3 3V3R-GROW1NG, WR1TH1NG, UNSTOPP4BL3 C3NTR3 OF TH3 C4RN4G3

k, he said, his eyes blazing. His loins were quaking in anticipation of the unbridled thrill that he knew watching his superior summarily cull those wretched drug fiends would bring him, but he knew he could never show it. so do i get a slice of –

BUT YOU W1LL B3 PR3V3NT3D BY YOUR HUM4N W34KN3SS!

4ND TH4TS WHY YOUR3 W1TH M3

He shook his tousled flaxen mane, eyes flashing chastely. He knew he could not deny his position as her submissive slave in all matters justice-related:

TH3 W1LD 4ND P4SS1ON4T3 P4SO DOBL3 OF POL1C1NG C4NNOT H4RM YOU 4S LONG YOU 4R3 W1TH M3, she gritted out, in a deep and throbbing voice.

He found himself blushing, made all too suddenly aware of his physical frailty in contrast to her, the way her horns thrust unapologetically upwards into the defenceless air, her hard yet inviting mouth filled with teeth as pointed as his nipples became every time she exposed them to him in a reckless, dangerous smile.

oh but captain i would never want to hold you back , he uttered, noting in consternation the quaver of his soft and troubled voice. i may be a human but i promise you my body is as firm as it is youthfully supple –

P4RDON MY 4LT3RN14N BUT TH4T 1S HOOFB34STCRUD OFF1C3R

W1TH YOU 4T MY S1D3 OR MOR3 L1K3LY SL1GHTLY B3H1ND M3, W3 SH4LL 3NT3R TH1S D3N OF BR4Z3N 1N1QU1TY 1NCH BY ST34DY 1NCH UNT1L 1TS F1RST V1RG1NAL D3F3NC3S 4R3 D3STROY3D

4ND TH3N W3 PUMP OUR GUNS 4ND G3T R34DY TO F1R3

k, he repeated breathlessly, overwhelmed by the wanton fire of her fierce, primal urges. Her body was so hot, yet her heart was so cold! So hot, yet so cold!

And then there was no need for words as they moved together, as though of one body and one mind, waves of pleasure erupting over them with every shot they eagerly released into the miscreants laid out before them. Her blind yet somehow all-seeing eyes feasted greedily upon the sumptuous corpse banquet arrayed carelessly before them, devouring every seep of bodily fluid, and he thought, panting and unravelled, that in a way, they were both blind – she from severe retinal burns, but he from desire.

H4V3 YOU DON3 TH1S B3FOR3 OFF1C3R?

gosh no captain

i swear it

never

ive never

i would never –

DO NOT B3 4SH4M3D OF YOUR 1N3XP3R13NC3, she asserted rigorously, and her sightless eyes blazed with sensuous fire as her words echoed gruffly around the now damp room. Placing one foot upon the spent and sated body of a former dope fiend, she beckoned to him, with one graceful, domineering finger.

In that moment, he knew that she would take him, and he knew that she would take him now. And what is more, Reader: he knew there had never been anything he had wanted more.

This is
so good

never has the letter 'k' ever been so erotic

my ovation is not the only thing standing today

he thought, panting and unravelled, that in a way, they were both blind – she from severe retinal burns, but he from desire.

THIS IS GENIUS. YOU ARE A GENIUS.

.........................this is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me :')

help help i am crying you are a beautiful human and i appreciate everything you choose to be

k, he repeated breathlessly, overwhelmed by the wanton fire of her fierce, primal urges.

That's it, everyone go home, fandom is over

Oh My God this is amazing everyone else can go home now

I'm crying, I've never read a story more perfect.

Our team is doomed, there's no way to beat this masterpiece.

her hard yet inviting mouth filled with teeth as pointed as his nipples became every time she exposed them to him in a reckless, dangerous smile.

I'M DEAD, I GIVE UP, SHIPPING OLYMPICS OVER.

Ahhh, bless the hands that wrought this majesty. You're amazing. Every time I scroll up and read any sentence at all out of this, I start laughing again.

This is sweet, sweet perfection. I received 10,000 lady-boners from this fanfiction.

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

PROMPT: TEAM DIRK<3ROXY

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE