hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 1

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.

Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!

You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.

Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Page 115 of 146

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You're welcome! And thank you for the compliment. :D

Sorry, it probably doesn't bend gender as much as you were looking for, but I couldn't get this out of my head.
________________

Dirk and Jake sat on the balcony of the coffeehouse. It was a beautiful summer evening, with a cool breeze and not a cloud in the sky. Even here in the city, the sky was full of stars. It was just like a romance movie, the kind that Jake had seen a million times. Jake was having trouble filling his part, though. He looked at the tiled floor, at the street below, anywhere but at Dirk. Beneath the table he kept tugging nervously on his tan school skirt.

"Yo, bro, it's okay. I understand," Dirk said.

Jake looked up into Dirk's eyes. Despite the breeze, Jake could feel a warmth rising in his cheeks. He wished that he hadn't worn the green sweater over his blouse. It felt hot and itchy, and he had to wrap his hands around the hem of his skirt to keep from scratching. He swallowed, clearing his mouth so he could talk. "You do?" He felt like he was on the verge of tears.

Dirk nodded, but his face remained serious. "You wanted to get a job at the coffee shop, but we only hire young men. So you dressed up as a man to get the job. That's right, isn't it?"

Jake's fingers tightened, pressing his short polished nails into his palm. He looked back down at the table, blinking rapidly, banishing the tears from his eyes. "That's not…"

Dirk interrupted him by reaching across the table and placing a finger on Jake's lips. "Shh," he said. "It's alright."

Jake had meant to offer some argument, to explain to Dirk that he was wrong, but he was distracted by the feeling of Dirk's flesh against his lips. The finger tickled, but not in a way that made him want to laugh. Rather, it was like a jolt of static electricity. He was disappointed when Dirk pulled it away.

"That makes this sort of hard for me," Dirk said, looking away from him. Jake couldn't see his eyes through the shades that Dirk still wore, but he got the impression that if he could, they would be full of sorrow. "I was going to confess to you tonight. I wanted to tell you how I felt about you. I love you bro."

Jake's heart was pounding in his chest. He had thought that he couldn't feel any more dizzy without passing out. Now he found that he could. He felt as if he had been flung off of a high cliff in the middle of the jungle, with a screaming hawk lord swooping down at him while a pride of lions waited at the bottom, mouths wide open.

Dirk continued before he could muster the will to say anything. "It's complicated, though. My attraction traditionally only extends to dudes. Now that I know that you're a different gender, that makes it kinda tough." Jake was going to interrupt him, but Dirk turned back to him. "I'm not saying that I don't have some kind of crush on you, though. You're a woman, but I can't stop thinking about you. Fuck it, I want to try. I'm… Jake, why are you crying?"

For a moment Jake wondered what Dirk meant, but he reached up to his cheek and felt water there. He wiped it off. Crying wasn't right for a ruff n tumble sort like him. His grandmother never would have cried, that's for gosh darn sure. Stiff upper lip.

"Jake," Dirk started. He was interrupted by Jake sniffling loudly, though.

"Friggin heck!" Jake said, a bit louder than he intended. He looked up at Dirk, whose look of hipstery unconcern had been broken by Jake's outburst. "Can't you just listen to me for one second? I've been trying to tell you something and you won't let me get a gosh darned word in edgewise."

"A word in flip-wise?" Dirk suggested, and Jake glared at him. "Sorry, bro. I'll listen."

"You've been so fucking wrapped up in what you were saying that you didn't even bother to make sure it's actually right," Jake said. "Frig it bro. I'm not a woman. I…" Jake stopped and blushed, suddenly self conscious about what he was saying. "I just like dressing up sometimes."

"Oh," Dirk said. Jake waited for him to continue, but Dirk's mouth stayed resolutely shut.

"Well?" Jake asked. He was suddenly filled with a fear that Dirk would reject him. Dirk had confessed to him when he thought that Jake was a woman. Had this changed things all over again?

"Oh," Dirk repeated, and Jake held his breath. "Well, shit. I sort of worked myself up to this. You broke my flow." Dirk cleared his throat.

Jake almost opened his mouth and apologized, but it was Dirk's friggin fault in the first place, so he held back, his anxiety and annoyance growing with each passing moment.

"You want to date?" Dirk asked.

Jake's mouth dropped. "Was that it?"

Dirk shrugged. "Pretty much."

"Well why didn't you just say so?" Dirk asked. "We've been working together and having scrums for all this time and I never know how you felt about me. Why didn't you ask me sooner?"

Dirk shrugged. "I'm asking you now. It's not like this shit is completely one sided. If you wanted to, you could have asked me." Dirk paused for a moment. "Do you want to?"

"Of course I do! You've been my bro for as long as I can remember and I can't think of anything better than having official fisticuff dates."

"Great," Dirk said, and he stood and walked across the coffee table, pursing his lips and leaning down to kiss Jake.

"Wait," Jake said, putting his hands on Dirk's shoulders and pushing him away. "Is it alright if I… you know… keep dressing up once in a while?"

"Yeah, of course," Dirk said. He looked away, and contemplated for a second. "Actually, speaking of dress up, have you ever heard of pony play?"

"No. What is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Dirk said. "We can talk about it later."

He leaned down again to kiss Jake, and this time Jake wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kissed him right back. As Dirk's lips pressed against his, Jake felt warmth running down his body. Then there was an explosive jolt, like the sound of two thousand pistols and a wink.

Edited 2012-06-21 15:29 (UTC)

(Even though that other person said they'd do it, I decided to do it, too, since I like this prompt. I kinda failed at the cyberpunk part though so just try to imagine it in that type of setting? There's also probably quite a few mistakes/OOC-ness, but I tried my best!)

The lights of the city lit up the night sky as Dirk Strider stood on the roof, taking in the scene. He lived there for most of his life, and it was constantly changing. New technology, tearing down and adding new buildings, there was always something going on. But no one else other than a select few people knew what was really going on in this city.
Dirk was one of those people, one of the Magical Kids. It used to be just girls, hundreds of years ago, but things had changed. He remembers why he made the contract and what he’d wished for, and looking back on it, he thinks he was an idiot. He hadn’t had any friends at the time, just lived with his bro and constantly stayed in his room. He knew why he didn’t have any friends; he was antisocial and often cold and inconsiderate to people who tried to talk to him. So when Kyubey offered him the contract, he wished that he would be better with people and possibly make a few friends. He got just what he asked for.
When he met Roxy, a Magical Girl, he was afraid she was only trying to befriend him because of his wish. But he quickly earned that she genuinely wanted to be his friend. They started fighting witches together and became very close. She introduced him to Jane, her best friend, who wasn’t a Magical Girl but knew about it.
That was how he met Jake. Jake was also just a normal person and had been dating Jane at the time, and was also one of Roxy’s friends. He and Dirk had quickly bonded and started hanging out a lot more. After a few weeks, Dirk found that he felt more than just friendship for Jake. Which was also why he was devastated when he found out Jake had made a contract.
Jane had been going through some trouble with her family. Her father lost his job due to the huge downhill changes in the city and they were going through tough times. Jake wished things would get better. And they did. Then he joined Dirk and Roxy’s witch fighting team.
Jake and Jane had broken up due to them mutually just wanting to be just friends, and Roxy left the team because she wanted to try to be more independent, but the four of them stayed as close as they always were. Dirk’s feelings for Jake had gotten a lot stronger since they first appeared. He planned on confessing; carefully thinking about what he was going to say and when he would say it. Though, the confession didn’t turn out as planned.
They had been back-to-back, guns and swords out, fighting a witch with some sort of magnetic power and was throwing around sharp pieces of metal. Jake had that smirk and that certain look in his eyes that he tended to get when battling. It was one of those things Dirk loved about him.
That was exactly what he was thinking about when he said it. “I like you as more than a friend,” Dirk accidentally blurted out, and then had to stop himself from immediately clamping a hand over his mouth.
“Is that so?” Jake asked after a second of thinking, keeping the same expression.
“Uh…yeah…” Dirk responded awkwardly, trying to keep his poker face. “That…didn’t really come out as planned.”
“Well you’ll be glad to know that I return your feelings,” he paused to shoot a piece of metal flying at him, deflecting it, “but your timing surely needs a bit of work there, mate.”
“I realize that,” Dirk said, scoffing slightly.
They continued to fight as always, though Dirk had a more obvious hint of a smile. It wasn’t until the witch was dead, the labyrinth dissolved, and they were back in the bright lights of the city night that Jake pulled Dirk in for a tight hug.
“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me,” he muttered, and that was the start of their relationship.
Dirk’s reminiscing was interrupted by a voice. Just the person he was thinking about. He turned around. “Hey, Jake.”
“Strider,” Jake greeted, walking up to him. “So, where is this witch we’re after tonight?”
Dirk continued to stare down at the streets, the lights of vehicles moving hundreds of miles per hour blurring. “Somewhere around here. It’s close, I can tell.”
Jake nodded. “How’s your soul gem?”
Dirk took it out and looks it over. “It’s fine. You can take the next grief seed, if you want.”
“You sure? I’ve been taking them for the past few battles.”
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. You know that mine doesn’t cloud up as easily.” It was one of Dirk’s powers, along with being able to reduce the cloudiness of others’ gems by using his almost as if it were a grief seed. He wasn’t sure how it would be much use in a battle at first, but when he teamed up initially with Roxy and then Jake, he knew it would help, as dangerous as it was. It also went well with Jake’s power to control the morale of people around him in a fight. Their powers were surely more useful in a team.
Jake shrugs. “Okay. Anyway, let’s get on with defeating this bloody witch already!”
Dirk nodded. It went by as it normally did, opening the portal and making their way through the labyrinth together. This time it was all wires and electricity; very appropriate considering the area it resided. After fighting off a few familiars and random monsters, they finally made it to the witch.
“Would you look at that,” Dirk said, hiding in the doorway to the large room. The witch was just like its environment; a tangle of wires of all sort of colors, with visible electricity running through it and zapping areas around it.
Jake got one of his guns ready. “Let’s do this,” he said, smirking.
The battle started out smoothly. Dirk managed to cut off a bunch of the also helped by firing at the main body, but for a split second, was caught off-guard. A single long, sharp metal wire impaled him through the left side of his lower back, at least hundreds of volts of electricity coursing through his body. “JAKE!” Dirk yelled, running over and slicing the wire off. Jake fell to the ground, still conscious, and Dirk got to his knees, holding him up.
“I’ll be fine, Dirk,” Jake muttered, “Keep fighting that thing off.”
“Jake-“ Dirk started to protest, genuine distress in his voice, before Jake cut him off.
“You know we don’t get hurt as easily. Just kill the damn thing already, I’ll be fine.”
Dirk nodded and reluctantly got up, even more determined to defeat this thing. A few jumps and slices later, and he was standing with his back turned to everything, breathing heavily as the witch died labyrinth disappeared, leaving them back on the rooftop. He regained his composure and ran back over to Jake, helping him up.
He looked at Jake’s wound, which was bleeding badly. He knew he’d be fine, but he was still worried. “You’re lucky you’re a Magical Whatever. If you weren’t, you’d probably be dead by now from that.”
Jake smiled weakly. “If I were still a normal human, I wouldn’t have gotten into this in the first place.”
“You know what I mean.”
Dirk helped Jake back to their apartment, setting him down on the bed. He’d managed to stop most of the bleeding, and Jake was starting to look better. Dirk sat next to him, stroking his boyfriend’s cheek.
Jake sat up slightly. “Why are you always so worried about me, Dirk?”
“Because I care bout you,” he answered simply.
“I care about you, too, but I don’t freak out whenever something like that happens to you.” He smiled slightly.
Dirk was quiet for a moment, thinking. “It’s…because I love you, Jake.”
Jake’s grin grew wider. “Really?”
Dirk leaned in and kissed him softly. When he pulled away, he whispered, “Yes. Really.”
“I love you, too, Dirk.”

http://i.imgur.com/l2tXl.jpg

aahah in retrospect i think the magic is a little too subtle but she's using it to turn the pages uwu;;

fsdofjsdfjksfd omg wow yes a++++++

It sucks, these unrequited loves of ours.

I'm s o r r y. [rolls over and doesn't get up]

Oh my goodness it's only if you want too! -hugs then hides- I'm just happy you liked it considering I had soooo much trouble writing it, hahaha. Oh man happy flails just for real.

Dave<3Bro

Superheroes+James Bond film

(Where do these prompts come from I swear)

WWhere oh wwhere can my baby be?
The Lord took her awway from me
She's gone to heavven so I got to be good,
So I can see my baby wwhen I leave this wworld.

I couldn't help myself.

Edited 2012-06-21 06:27 (UTC)

dystopia + bildungsroman for rose<3kanaya

<3Karkat<3Sollux<3Equius. Cooking + Horror

Rose<>Dave. Giant Mecha + Magic girl.

Here's a little fill for you! It's Hansel and Gretel with a twist and a dash of propaganda! I hope you like it!

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful troll by the name of Aranea. She, like any other good highblood, was very kind and generous to all those below her on the hemospectrum.

Unfortunately, though kind and courteous, Aranea was cursed with a lusus who did not share her ideals. One day, Spidermom demanded that Aranea lure unsuspecting trolls to their hive so she could dine upon their flesh. Appalled, Aranea disobeyed her and fled.

In a different hive, located not far away, there lived another beautiful troll. Her named was Meenah, and she lived in a beautiful kingdom under the sea. It was Meenah who would be next in line to rule when the Empress abdicated. Unfortunately, Meenah was flighty and selfish. That same afternoon, Meenah left her kingdom and fled to the surface. It was there that she met Aranea.

“Gill,” called the heiress. “Hey, gill, where are you goin’?”

Aranea, who was heading across the beach, turned in surprise.

“Excuse me,” she asked, “what was that? Are you saying ‘girl’? Do you mean me?”

“I don’ see anyone else floundering around up here, basshole,” was Meenah’s quick reply. Her voice was more fit for underwater use, consonants screeching through the rough air, vowels swallowed up by wind.

Much to Aranea’s discomfort, this sea-dweller was approaching her rapidly.

“Where are you goin’?” Meenah asked again, annoyance creeping into her voice.

“Um, I am going to look for a new place to stay with the bluebloods who live along the mountains. I have no place to go and the empress has decreed that the trolls of higher castes must look after the lower ones. I’m sure someone will take me in.”

Aranea moved to continue on her way, but Meenah grabbed her arm. A cerulean blush crept up Aranea’s cheeks.

“That’s the biggest load of carp I ever heard.” Meenah slipped her hand down into Araneas and pulled her towards the forest. “You are comin’ with me. I ain’t never heard of no highblood who wasn’t a sweaty creep. You’re comin’ with me.”

Aranea hesitated.

“But I heard that there is a witch who lives in the forest. I heard she lures trolls into her hive with sweets, cooks them, and eats them.” The troll shuddered. “That is something I am trying to avoid.”

“You’re scared,” said Meenah, who continued into the forest without making motion to slow down.
“You don’t need to be scared gill.”

“And why not?” asked Aranea.

“Because I’ll take care of you.”

This was said with such sincerity that Aranea was momentarily stunned into silence, despite the raspy quality of Meenah’s voice.

Meenah took Aranea’s silence, rightly, as consent and led them deeper into the forest. Meenah assured Aranea that they would have a whale of a time! It was fun, for a while, trading stories of their childhood and lusii. Unfortunately, they soon became quite lost.

“Well,” said Aranea as the pair passed the same rock for the eighth time, “this is going swimmingly. You should have let me leave seashells in the path so we could find our way out.”

Meenah’s face lit up and she threw an arm around her newfound companion.

“You said swimmingly!” Her sharp grin threatened to split her face in half. “I love that! I can’t believe you made a fish pun!”

“Now is not the time for silliness,” said Aranea while remaining under the arm of her friend.

“Shore it is!”

Aranea frowned. “That was a stretch, even for you.”

Meenah glared and opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, out jumped a white cat. Meenah started.

“Oh my cod! That thing tried to krill me!”

Aranea bent down and pat the cat on the head.

“You’re afraid of this little kitten?”

“What can I say?” Meenah eyed the cat warily. “Fish and feline don’t get along all that swell.”

The cat meowed again and walked into the forest, pausing before it disappeared. When the trolls did not move, it meowed again, impatiently.

“It wants us to follow it,” said Aranea, taking a step towards the cat. Meenah did not move.

“Come oooooooon,” Aranea drew out her vowels in annoyance and yanked on Meenah’s arm. “I’ll protect you from the big bad kitty. We are lacking in viable options. Let’s take the bait and follow this little guy.”

Meenah gave a little at the pun. “And if things get fishy we’ll tuna-round?”

“I promise.” Aranea grinned. “I will not let anything make us into fillets.”

“Oh, what the haddock,” Meenah walked in step with Aranea, linked their fingers together. “We have no batter option.”

The cat led them through the forest, letting off its own green glow to light their way. After what seemed like hours, the three stopped in front of a quaint hive, deep in the forest. The cat strode boldly through the door.

“Whale,” said Meenah, “Water you waiting for?”

“There’s a witch who lives in the forest,” Aranea began.

“Oh shove it.” Meenah strode towards the hive. “We’ll be fine. There is no such thing as witches.”

“Oh, there isn’t” said a voice from behind them, “whale, then I have been living a lie.”

Aranea let out a small shriek and ran towards Meenah.

“It’s the wiiiiiiiitch!”

“Oh, come now child,” said the witch, who was quite beautiful and dressed in gorgeous flowing clothes. “My porpoise is not to hurt you! I’m the Witch of Life, otherwise known as the Batterwitch around here.”

“Because you batter and fry your victims?” spat Meenah, glaring at the Batterwitch.

The troll, who was presumably the empress in disguise, laughed. “Because I make the best sweets! I’ll cook you something if you wait a minute? Do you girls like grub cookies?”

While the two trolls waited, they told the Batterwitch, who had admitted to them she was Empress Feferi in disguise, why they were in the forest. The empress shook her head when Meenah explained how she left her duties, but smiled when Aranea told her about disobeying her lusus’s request. When the grub cookies were done, the girls listened to the Empress’s advice.

“No girls, I know that sometimes things can be hard. But Meenah, you can’t abandon ship like that! Everyone has their responsibility to those below them. Even though it seems scary you have to face your fears! And Aranea, even though you disobeyed your lusus’s orders, you were doing so because you knew I wouldn’t have liked it! It is always good to stand up for the laws put in place by the empress. Even your lusus should follow the laws of the land! For someone of such a mediocre caste, you shore do know how to behave like an heiress.”

Aranea smiled at the praise, and when Meenah saw how happy she was, the little heiress smiled too.

“In fact, Aranea, why don’t you go home with Meenah? The two of you make a great team! I’d krill for a matesprit as great as you!”

Meenah spat out a chunk of grub cookie while Aranea hurriedly explained that they were not, in fact, matesprits.

“Not, of course, that there will never be any red feelings in the future,” Meenah added, staring at the table. Aranea smiled.

“Oh, well no matter!” The Empress smiled benevolently at the trolls. “Flushed or not, you two should work together. It is always better when trolls work together for the good of the whole.”

Cheered by the empress’s words, the girls left the forest, holding hands the whole way.

The moral of the story is, little wiggler, that you must always do what the empress says, even if it’s hard. Things are always better when everyone works together!

MY HEART IS MELTING HAHAHAHA DIRK IS RIDICULOUSLY CUTE!
Jane working there makes sense too~
Yes this is awesome, thank you!

It is definitely okay!
IS DIRK CHECKING OUT THE OTHER BOY'S PREMIUM RUMP, YES THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HAH.
Thank you very much for the fill u v u <3

Hell yes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi I’m Roxy N’octurne Melancholia Shadow Lalonde and I have dark blue eyes that people say looks like depressing sad mist on a blue sea because they are blue. I have blond hair but not like regular blond because I would never leave my hair alone like that. It is short and has pink streaks with purple tips. You might think I am French because of my name but I’m not because Frnch people are all preps anyways. I am Italina like Gerard Way (AN: if u don’t know who he is den you’re a prep anyway so get da hell out because he is the most sexah person evr!) Also I have a really big secret. I’m a wixard. Actually I’m a witch because girls can’t be whizards but I use the word wizard anyway because it is better! Also I am goth (duh) and I shop at Hot Topic. Today I was wearing a black MCR tank with some corset stuff my friend sewed on the back with glue with my pierced belly button showing (u can say i’m a slut but it’s NOT TRUE i don’t have AIDS or anything and a lot of girls wear shirst like dat!) with a black leather miniskirt that had some torn up lacey things around the edges and purple fishnet stockings and black high heeled boots that reached my knees and also had lots of lace on it. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner, pink eye shadow, and red mascara so it looked like I was crying bitter bloody tears that stuck to my eyelashes but what was really sticking to them was the snow. There was no one around and I was all alone which I was happy about. Then I went to my room.

“Hey Roxy!” my friend Winter said all depressed (Winter used to be Jane but then she became a Satanist after her father was killed by Volsemort in a car crash while he was cleaning his car).

“Hi Winter!” I said also depressed. She was reading some depressing poetry on her bed which is right next to mine. I read it too and I was crying. Then she asked me “Hey Roxy do you like Jake?”

“Fuck no!” I shouted.

“But I thought you always did!”

“Of course not fuck off!” I put my middle finger up at her so she knew I was serious. She laughed. Then she heard an alarm and she went away.

Just then, someone popped out from beneath my bed. It was… Jake!

“JAKE WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU SICKO GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” I whispered so Jane wouldn’t hear me.

“YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME,” he also whispered because he knew Jane was in the room, “BUT IT’S CLEAR BY THE FACTORS THAT YOU ARE NOT!”

“Of course I am I know everything about you Jake!”

“My name is not Jake! I am Valdimir and I am a SATANIST!”

“Proof it!”

“I can! Because I am also...... A ROBOT!”

"OMFG NOOOOOOOOO! If you are a robot then how can I drink your blood?”

“I might not have blood for you to drink,” said Vlasimir sadly, “But you can still love me.”

And then Vladimir looked so depressed like he lost everything that was so good that I knew he was the one for me. He grabbed me around the waist passively and felt under my shirt for my bra enthusiastically. I took of my corset and he undid the straps to my black leather bra. Then we took of each other’s clothes. We started frenching on the bed and then he put his boy’s thingy in my place and we did it.

“Oh, Vladimir, Vladimir!” I screamed while starting to get an orgasm when suddenly I heard a voice.

“VLAFIMIR YOU FOOL!” I turned around because there were two people storming into the room. It was Winter, and with her was............ Dirk Strider!

“NO YOU ARE THE FOOL DIRK!” Vladimir yelped. “I could never be with a prep like you!”

“NOOOOO BUT I LOVE YOU!”

“I DON’T LOVE YOU LIKE I DID YESTERDAY!”

“OMFG VLADIMIR you loved Dirk?” I yelped.

“NOOO, NOOO, Roxy, I only love you!” he protested lethargiclly. But I knew too much.

“Fuck off okay!” I started to go away, crying tears of blood. But then… he started singing Helena by MCR which is totally my favorite band ever! Dirk looked afraid because he didn’t know Vladimir was goffic. Winter looked impressed but that was maybe because he had a big robotic you-know-what. His voice was so beautiful like a cross between Joel Madden Gerard Way and Marilyn Manson. I was in love.

“VLADIMIR I LOVE YOU!” I whispered breathlessly.

Dirk gasped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXX

AN: prepz stop flammin da fic ok winters alarm was because she was bakin cookies and they were goona burn now tell me is DAT outta charcter?! also fangz to the goffics for likin dis!

Consider now the huntress crouched in wait,
She eyes the wicked vampire staged below,
Crouched on a building, roof covered with snow,
And grooming claws her bloodlust soon to sate.
But hark what danger comes at her behind,
The vampire's sibling creeps on silent feet,
Its fangs are bared and ready for a treat,
And still to danger Nepeta is blind.
But then a great bull comes with blinding speed,
A bull with metal legs and horns impelled
Strikes at the vampire clearing him away.
Nepeta smiles at Tavros's deed,
From building dives, her target is impaled.
Two vampires swiftly felled upon this day.

"You'll find all you need when you mix the perfect pumpkin spice!"

That was all the will said (besides stipulating that he be stuffed instead of buried and that the Adventurer's Cup would pass to Jade). Grandpa had always seemed like he had a screw loose, but Jade just couldn't figure this one out. She'd mixed hundreds of batches of Pumpkin Spice coffee since he'd died last year and each was good...but none were "it", and what could that have to so with her inheritance? The lawyer had no idea what the will meant, and the small coffeeshop was quickly losing money.

Jade rolled into work that morning extra upset. The recent bill from the electric company was basically an eviction notice. Everything was overdue. She started a pot of a rich Ecuadorian blend and decided to try once more. Maybe today she's make the perfect pumpkin spice.

She'd grown her own pumpkins since she was young, and her most recent batch was quite nice. She spent the next half hour mixing and stirring, testing and tasting until she finally set a cup in front of her.

This was it. She took a sip and rested the cup back on the counter. It was mellow, with a sudden rush of spicy warmth that sent a tiny shiver up her spine. That was it! It was perfect.

But when Jade opened her eyes to hastily write down what she'd done, she found a tiny glowing.....birdman? with a sword sticking out of him? floating above her coffee cup.

"yo I heard you need some help around here and maybe some rad djinn powers to pick this place up".

wow I need to actually make this an AU this is such a wonderful prompt!
so, a little more background-Davesprite is a Djinn that Grandpa Harley came across in his adventures. He helped the djinn restore his honor by defeating a skeleton monster that had trapped the djinn by thrusting his sword into his abdomen. The contract was that the djinn must serve the family of his rescuer for a hundred years, but Grandpa Harley decided to sweeten the deal-and asked that Davesprite only serve his granddaughter. He hid the Djinn in the "perfect pumpkin spice"-a recipe he knew only Jade could create, so she would have someone to help her after he died.

Feferi<3<Eridan Mobsters (any era) + drug trade/hiest drama

((Sorry this isn't very shippy at all... Hope you enjoy it anyway!!))

- - -

Rose's kicked-up sneakers hit the oily puddles light and swift, splashing up just enough to kiss the hem of her filthy wool coat. The deep city crowds move in chaotic currents that she slips through, ducking under tarp-covered jars balanced on deliverers' heads, sidestepping rattling carts of salvaged machinery. The air she sucks down is thick with secondhand smoke of hundreds of cheap import cigarettes. She keeps balance with one pumping arm, the other deep in a coat pocket clutching a treasure to king all treasures.

Just holding the milky globe in her hand gives her such sight. The city lays out in a live map in her implant eye; vector lines of light marking every street corner, food dive, prosthetic modification, aircar make, even metal grates in the fucking gutters that could take her to someplace secret. She follows the gridlines with her eye and finds that it's a joke how easy it is to piggyback on surveillance, spying on her stomping grounds and further. Her vision splits, half trained on the shuffling crowds and half jumping from camera to camera, picking out the passersby with a grainy focus. She's a single blood cell hopping the veins.

Then paranoia hits like sickness; every pedestrian is a threat, can think her suspicious and flag down a drone that would rope her in and take her to the capitol building where she would know nothing but concrete rooms and questions and braintaps until she gave up why she took it. She would be tortured for a name, an employer of sorts, of which she has absolutely none. Closest thing is a partner in crime, if one could call a troll girl with a penchant for dealing her dues in eights a trustworthy associate. Not trustworthy, no, but certainly formidable and definitely ballsy, leading her and Rose in a scheme to bag the biggest get this city cannot know.

Rose's face aches from grinning.

Once upon a time, there were two young thief girls, one human and one troll.

She skids on the slippery concrete as an airbus lands a few yards ahead, right where she would have been in three seconds had she not felt the blast of searing wind from the jets, and she banks to fade back into the masses.

The troll girl was greedy and ambitious, like any self-respecting blue-blood would be, and she led the human girl on a daring scavenger hunt.

Across the technicolor skyscraper-wide advertisements sprawls stark white words that follow Rose as she runs. When she stops, they cease scrolling mid-sentence through the transparent displays, waiting for her to continue her flight. Heart pounding a rhythm of legend's birds, she ducks into an alleyway to cross to another street. Bone pixel text is waiting for her on the other side.

They snuck into a forbidden lair and snatched two priceless items from within. The trophies granted them unfathomable powers of semi-omniscience, a skill they would likely put to rather questionable use.

She runs for the sake of running now, heart in her throat and lungs pushing up higher too. Mid sprint, she relaxes her vicegrip in an experiment, dropping the ball down to the bottom of her pocket; the words vanish. Okay. Hand back around the sphere, she edges into the street where she can glance at the billboards without crashing into bodies.

Or, at least they could, as long as I didn't explode the loot in their faces.

She slows to a stop in front of a newspaper projection wall—thousands of suspended screens with articles scrolling like rain in reverse, a downpour of written languages—and catches her breath.

"All right," she huffs, clenching her hand around the sphere, the other in a fist. "You have my attention."

Your friend really should have given me the same.

"She's not my friend."

But surely not an enemy?

"And why not? I was impressed on to keep that kind closer."

Clearly that has served you well.

"It has. It's gotten me a key, for instance."

So I see.

"Can you?" Rose asks and, instead of feeling clever and powerful, she now feels watched. An uncanny feeling, like there's a gremlin behind her eye. "You're linked to this ball, that much is apparent. And if I can even believe you at all, which I don't, you remotely blew up it's sister."

I did.

She pokes her finger through a Korean tabloid, laughing humorlessly and short. "Machine ghost. Surveillance, judging by the paths that make a web out of security cameras. You're the big white server with all those plugs in the treasure room."

Mostly correct, yes. But to claim I am a simple program is an insult to my character, and I am quite sure that you know better. I am not merely a sum of parts.

"Then what are you?"

A victim of burglary. And what does that make you, thief?

She doesn't reply. A rhetorical question, followed by a one-white-letter-at-a-time answer.

Impressive.

Tavros <3 Vriska
transfer student (college AU) + cosmic event (asteroid hitting earth, abnormally long eclipse, etc.)

Gamzee <3 Roxy
(overcoming maybe?) drug addiction + hurt/comfort

Terezi <3< Gamzee. Third-person shooter + cosmic horror.

Oh heck. This is seriously amazing, dude.

"Don't worry, I'll get you some more fucking alcohol," Dirk said. He stood from his crouch and turned to leave.

Roxy's hand snaked out and caught his ankle. "Nooo," she whined. "Der… Dirk… It's to laet. You need to stotp me."

Dirk wanted to argue, but turning back to her, he knew that she was right. The hair was already beginning to sprout from her body.

Roxy's eyes met Dirk's and they were wide and desperate. "Pleaseee," she slurred, "don let me do anythin that i'll argret…"

On the outside, Dirk kept his cool. Behind his glasses, though, he closed his eyes. When Roxy didn't have alcohol, she became a beast. A werewolf, in fact. Dirk had seen her transformation, and once was enough.

It hadn't been as bad that time, though. They had given her a hangover cure before she had transformed. She had been calm. That wasn't the case now. Now, she was going to have one fucking terrible hangover.

Dirk closed his eyes even tighter. It wouldn't be long now until the transformation was complete, and his friend was completely lost inside of that thing. He didn't want to look at her, to see what she had become, but he had a duty. He had to make sure that she didn't do anything that she'd regret.

He wasn't sure how he was going to do it. All the shoosh paps in the world probably couldn't save him from an enraged, hung over Roxy. She trusted him, though, so Dirk steeled himself to open his eyes.

Inches from his face, something let out an angry growl.

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BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

FILL: TEAM DOLOROSA<3MINDFANG

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3<VRISKA

FILL: TEAM ALPHA!DAVE<3ALPHA!ROSE

Re: FILL: Team Alpha!Dave♥Alpha!Rose TAGS: [NSFW]

FILL: TEAM DAVE♥JAKE

Re: FILL: TEAM dave♠karkat♥terezi♥dave

PROMPT: TEAM dave♠karkat♥terezi♥dave

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

PROMPT: ALPHA!DAVE<3ALPHA!ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM Equius<>Nepeta

PROMPT: TEAM Equius<>Nepeta

FILL: TEAM JADE<3KARKAT

Re: FILL: TEAM BRO/JOHN

Re: FILL: TEAM BRO<3DAVE

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

FILL: TEAM DOLOROSA<3MINDFANG

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

FILL: TEAM Nepeta<3Terezi

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

no subject

FILL: TEAM DOLOROSA<3MINDFANG