BONUS ROUND 1

[hso_mods]

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

1. Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.


2. Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!


3. You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.


4. Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.
PROMPT: TEAM [YOUR SHIP]
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.
FILL: TEAM [YOUR SHIP]
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Comments

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KARKAT

[gregariousprotagonist]

Urban Fantasy + Dying Earth

Equius<>Nepeta

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

[wallwalker]

A wild, massive hoofbeast lies dead on the ground, and you mourn the loss of such a magnificent specimen. He must have been starved, to come this close to the Last City.

Nepeta's claws are dripping with blue blood - your shade, but not your blood - as she stands, recovering from the nasty attack. "It nearly snuck up on me!" she says, a bit affronted. "I'm the one who's supposed to do the sneaking!"

"It was fortunate," you say. "But not fortunate enough, for which we should both be grateful. Skin him, Nepeta, and I will stand guard."

She made a little irritated sound in her throat - it still sounds a bit like a growl, even after all this time. "I was going to do that anyway, bossypants," she says, and smiles tiredly at you.

You do your best to smile back. "I know."

This is commonplace, for you; monstrous creatures roam the streets of the city, and you and your moirail have fought many of them, even those who a few sweeps before might have chosen you to protect. You skin them, butcher them when you can, preserve what flesh you can in salt... you wish that you could somehow preserve their blood to drink, but you have no real way to do so, most of the time.

What else can you do? The Last City is broken, and the people in it huddle in their apartments and hide from the horrible truth of the world outside. Only you and your moirail are brave enough to go out, where the monsters gather in the shadows, to explore, to try to find whatever small caches are left of food and water and fuel. You are sure that some of them ask why, and you will not answer. It may be your duty to dominate over the lower classes, but it is also your duty to protect them, and if this slow death has made them forget, well, it does not change the fact that you remember.

It does not take long for her to finish, as these things go. Not all of the hide can be preserved, but she gets enough. You look at the meat, take what you can use; this thing is too big to butcher properly, and you must not spend too much time here. The scavengers will come soon, the homeless, the Rainbow Drinkers desperate for food... the ones who you would kill if they attacked the people under your protection. But as long as they do not, you will be merciful.

You are, after all, the highest left. And as much as you do not wish to be their master and keeper, you will do so, because someone must. At least you have Nepeta by your side; for all of her occasional silliness, she is good at knowing when an order must be given, and what must be said. You would not be able to do this if not for her.

The two of you walk without comment, back to the Last City, through miles of abandoned urban jungle. It is always a relief when the lights begin to shine again, however dimly, and the cracks in the pavement become less pronounced; it means that there are still people there who care for the place, that have the means to do so.

Soon you'll be home, in the center where the lights shine brightest. You will give the meat that you carry to the ones who prepare, who distribute, and the leather will be prepared and stretched and made into clothing for those who must have it.

You must survive. Your people must live, until the ships return home and you can leave this place. You just hope that day will come within your lifetime, and within your moirail's, because you cannot bear the thought of leaving her body behind.

She notices the sagging in your shoulders when the thought crosses your mind; she always does. She says nothing, just puts a hand on your back and leads you on, and somehow the voyage is easier, then.

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3JADE

[portaling]

Davesprite <3 Jade
Body Horror + Dystopian

Re: PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3JADE

[chiuchiu]

IajagagThis prompt is amazing! I really wanna to do something for it *cries

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3JADE

[portaling]

Aradia <3 Sollux
Historical AU + Sci Fi

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3<SOLLUX

[kephra]

This prompt made me think of one of my favorite music videos of all time, Tonight, Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins. So I went that direction!


God I love spats.

PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3FEFERI

[chiuchiu]

Uhm western and horror for Aradia<3<vriska!

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

[mirroreuler]

Could I see a Feferi<3Aradia magical girl + horror please? :)

Re: PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

[catherpie]

I'm halfway done with the prompt, but it kind of turned into a Puella Magi Madoka Magica crossover. Are you ok with that?

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KANAYA<3Rose

[mirroreuler]

I'd love to see something with Dirk<3Jake and Space Opera + Military!

FILL: TEAM JADE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

[mags12998]

Fancy meeting you here! Anyway I really liked this idea so...

*

With Jane at the helm, Roxy in the engine, Jake with weapons, and Dirk keeping the computers functional, the Alpha is one of the more effective scout ships for the HSS fleet.

Unfortunately it’s a little outclassed at the moment. Three enemy ships jumped in minutes ago and its crew is scrambling to react.

“Can we get a message to the fleet?” Jane asks, banking the ship up to move it out of range of the largest enemy ship.

“They’re jamming signals, but I think we can break them,” Dirk says.

“Assuming they don’t change strategies it will take approximately ten minutes to get a distress signal to the fleet,” Dirk’s computer chimes in. “I’ve got this. Go help Jake with the guns, Dirk.”

Dirk jumps up and jogs down to Jake’s station, muttering, “Taking orders from my computer, what does that make me, chopped liver…”

The first hit makes the floor shudder under his feet and he steadies himself on the wall. No alarms, that’s good.

“Just a glancing blow,” Jane’s voice says through his headset. “We’ll need to hit back if we want to keep that up though. Dirk, that means you.”

“Acknowledged. Almost there now,” Dirk replies.

Jake looks up from his console when Dirk jumps down into the one next to him. “Hey, look who’s ready to join the party,” he says.

“Yep, shooting aliens with you is definitely my idea of a party,” Dirk replies. He starts up the targeting system and manages to get a few shots in at the middle-sized enemy before the whole ship lurches sideways.

“Lost a water tank,” Roxy mutters. “Nothing important.”

“I need you to concentrate fire on the small one,” Jane says. “That one’s got the big guns.”

“Three minutes,” Dirk’s computer adds.

“We can do this,” Jake says, more to Dirk than to anyone else.

Dirk doesn’t say anything, spinning the turrets under his control around to point at the smallest ship and launches a few salvos at it. The ship dodges easily, jerking around like someone grabbed it and moved it aside.

“I think that one’s one of their Psionic ones,” Dirk says. “Jake, follow my lead?”

“Oh, bollocks!” Jake mutters at his screen. “Yeah, ack.”

Dirk takes another few shots at it. Every time it dodges it never goes farther than thirty degrees off of coreward. “Sixty degree spread, center coreward. On my mark,” he says. Taking another shot, he says, “Mark!”

Everything next happens so quickly. The smallest ship, hit dead-on, explodes, Dirk’s computer says, “Backup’s arriving... now,” five HSS ships jump in and tear into the other ships, and Jake, riding a victory adrenalin-high, leans over, grabs Dirk’s shirt, and pulls him in for a kiss.

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

[tobias_fiori]

techno-thriller + detective fiction

autoresponder<3roxy

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

[tobias_fiori]

supernatural + young adult novel

karkat<>kanaya

FILL: TEAM Rose <3 Sollux

[bleedsblue]

"Hold still," she fusses at you, and dabs at your neck with a moist alcohol towelette.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, and you are currently YOUR MOIRAIL'S LUNCH.

"Ow!" You yelp at the sudden sting of fangs on your neck, but you don't bat her away. She needs this. "Rotten festering fuck!" She's snapped her jaws on you a little harder than she usually does, and fuck, that hurts. It'll probably leave a bruise.

"I apologize." Kanaya at least has the good sense to look chagrined. "I skipped breakfast this morning."

You sigh and tilt your neck back towards her, grumbling, "You gotta stop missing meals. It'll throw your blood..."

Is blood sugar still a problem for rainbow drinkers?

"...Your blood whatever off."

"I will be more careful," she promises. "Now hold still." Kanaya smiles and closes her lips over the punctures in your neck again, much more gently than before.

"Do you guys have to do that in the cafeteria?" Vriska whines. "Come oooooooon, some of us are trying to eat!!!!!!!!"

You flip her off with both hands while Kanaya continues drinking, and she shoots the plastic from her Capri Sun straw at you.

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT <3 NEPETA

[slippy]

Mom <3 Dad
Americana + adventure

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

[grimd0rk]

(Excuse my un-American spelling - I am not one of your countrymen. But I do hope you enjoy my humble offering! Also there is some swearing here.)


There is nothing worse than the smell of burning petrol on a hot day. Your eyes water as you step out of the car to inspect the damage. You allow yourself to loosen your tie – after all, there is no-one here to judge you on the trim of your lawn or the cut of your jib.

Freedom at last.

The bonnet springs open and scatters dust everywhere. You’re not exactly enthused by the smoking mess of metal before your eyes. You were never very good with cars, but you told her “I’ll handle it”, because even though you know she doesn’t care what you do, you still want to put on a good front. Swiping some of the steam away from your face, you lean forward. Hesitantly, you wrest the pen from your breast pocket and prod one of the metal contortions with it. It creaks slightly, but otherwise it doesn’t seem to have done anything. Surprise, surprise.

There’s a hand on your shoulder as she pulls you away from the bonnet and plunges headfirst into the steam. You didn’t even hear her leave the car.

“Alright, let’s take a look at this fucker,” she says, bending over. You refrain from admiring her posterior or letting her obscenity rustle your jimmies – no, you’re above that. You stand back at a safe distance and let her tinker.

“Well, I’m out.” She pulls away from the bonnet and, wiping the sweat off her face, walks away from the car.

“Wait, wait, what’s the problem with it?” you ask, turning after her.

“It’s fucked. We’re fucked.”

“Well hold on just a minute, there’s got to be a gas station around here somewhere!” you yell after her. She’s already put a few good yards between herself and the car.

“And where d’you think I’m going, hey?”

Point taken. You take brisks strides to catch up with her, taking off your tie completely and balling it up in your trouser pocket.

By the time of you reach a gas station, not a word exchanged on the whole half-hour walk, and you’re thanking your lucky stars that you didn’t leave your fedora in the car – otherwise you might as well have burnt to a crisp. Your shirt is unbuttoned and you’re wetter than a theme park waterslide. Your heart beats in double time as a fragment of a memory flies into your mind – but now is not the time to think about the theme park where you were going to take your son John next week. John’s safe at home with his Nanna, and you know he’ll be alright.

He doesn’t need to be caught up in all of this.

You turn your attention back to reality just in time to realise that you’ve walked through a jangling door behind her and into a mechanic’s workshop at the gas station. You’re not in the deep desert anymore, there are brands on these shelves that you’ve heard of (which is more than you can say for what you saw at your last brief stop) and an air conditioner that appears to be in full working order. Not far from civilisation now. You button up your shirt.

Your head is swimming – you don’t know how she puts up with the heat so well, but she’s holding a perfectly cogent conversation with the mechanic and leading him out, pointing him down the highway to where your car broke down. He nods and says he’ll take a look at it, and she tips him a greenback.

“There’s a diner ‘round the side,” she says, nudging you to a higher plane of consciousness. “We might as well get a tipple.”

You nod vacantly. If nothing else, some food will help bring you back to life.

The diner reeks of deep-fried grease and you can tell, the moment you enter, that it’s not exactly going to give you the best meal of your life, but you’re beyond caring. The two of you sit down at a table near the back exit (for a quick escape, if need be) and a waitress wearing an apron so lumpy it looks like she might be hiding several kittens under it comes ‘round with two menus.

“Just a drink for me,” your partner in crime says, “y’do any cocktails?”

“Honey, we don’t serve no alcohol before six pm here,” the waitress says with a snort.

The lovely lady sitting across from you looks awfully dejected; it doesn’t suit her features. “Fine,” she grumbles, drumming her fingers on the table, “I’ll get a lime milkshake.”

The waitress nods. “And for you, mister?”

“I’ll get a coke and, uh... do you do nachos?”

“We sure as heck do,” she says, scribbling down your order. “Want me to put some phosphorous in your coke, make it taste like in the olden times?”

You wrinkle your nose slightly – the fumes from your car will suffice for your daily noxious gas quota. “No thanks.”

Once the waitress is gone, she reaches across the table and strokes your face. “Nachos, Egbert? Really?”

You shrug. “I need to have something to fill the void in my stomach right now.”

She smirks. “You know I’m always here to fill any voids you have, baby.”

You smile.

You hear the distant sound of tyres coming to a quick stop on some tarmac, and glance out the wind— oh lord.

She’s seen it too, and she quickly snatches her hand away. “It’s the fuzz!” she hisses, and you think it’s adorable that she feels the need to talk like she’s in a bad cop movie. You would have taken longer to dwell on that pleasant thought, but she’s already grabbed up her bag and she’s heading for the exit.

You quickly jump up and follow her, not bothering to look back at the waitress’s doubtless-judgemental expression.

The two of you beat a hasty escape just in time to see the mechanic pulling up with your car. “Out of water!” he shouts, slightly amused.

“Never mind what was wrong with it,” you snap, “just give me the keys!”

He cottons on pretty quick. “The cops here for you?”

“What do you think, wise guy?” you say.

She hands him a wad of notes pulled indiscriminately from her bag. “You keep quiet, alright? You never saw us.”

He nods calmly, like this is something with which he must deal on a day-to-day basis. But of course, that would be absurd.

You don’t bother to thank him, and you climb in the car and hotfoot it the hell out of there. It’s a few minutes of catching your breath later that you realise there’s a siren wailing behind you.

For the first time since you met her, she looks scared. Not even last night, when the two of you... well, the less said about the events that led to this, the better. It’s you and her, running from demons of an indescribably horrific nature.

John is safe at home, you remind yourself. You turn to her.

“It’s going to be alright.”

But you don’t believe your own words. Eyes back on the road.

“Don’t you worry, I’ve got your back, Mister Egbert.”

“And I yours, Missus Egbert.”

“Watch yourself!” she says cheerfully, and for a moment you can bring yourself to believe that yes, it will be alright. “That’s Miss Lalonde to you! We’re not married. Yet.”

You grin, despite everything, and stick your right hand out. Her left meets it almost immediately. Nothing more needs to be said.

You press down on the accelerator.

---

(Fun facts, the line about phosphorous in coke is actually something that someone said to a friend of mine when he was in America, word for word.)

PROMPT: TEAM FEFERI<3JADE

[nomyriad]

Alpha!Dave<3Alpha!Rose

Fairytale + Cyberpunk

Re: PROMPT: TEAM FEFERI<3JADE

[arctickayla]

I'm holding my breath waiting for this to be filled.

PROMPT: TEAM GAMZEE<>KARKAT

[rex]

Western + hurt/comfort, Aradia<>Tavros!

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

[wallwalker]

It was a perfectly ordinary day at the Fancy Cat Saloon when someone kicked down the doors hard enough to send splinters of wood plunging into the bar.

The barkeep was irritated. "Again, you two?" he asked, as soon as he could start to stand up from behind the bar. "That's the third time this week!"

"Uh, sorry," Tavros said, sheepishly. "I'm just, uh, in kind of a hurry?"

The barkeep could see why, once he got his specs on and had a good look at the two of them. Aradia was obviously in pain, and there was an awful lot of red blood on her clothes. "Oh, mercy me," he says, "you two getting into trouble again!"

"Trouble - ugh - came looking for us!" Aradia protested, grimacing. "But it's okay! We sent the Scourge Sisters packing!"

"Yeah, um, but we need to take care of her now," Tavros says, looking back at his partner. "Aradia got, well, unlucky. I guess."

She moaned slightly, then smiled again. "Sounds... about right."

The barkeep rolled his eyes at their apparently willingness to banter at each other while one of them was about to bleed out on his floor. "C'mon, then," he says, "let's go."

He took them downstairs, not up - he had a sort of makeshift clinic down there, for people who couldn't afford to go to the doc, or who couldn't go for whatever reason. He was pretty good at that sort of thing himself, and if he hadn't lost his own moirail the way he had... well. But at least he could help these two, who were young and stupid and obviously so pale for each other they could barely think straight, and who'd probably end up sold to the crooked sheriff the second they set foot in the town clinic. Everyone knew the sheriff was a friend of the Scourge Sisters, but these two kids were the only ones brave enough to stand up to 'em, and everyone loved 'em for it.

"We got 'em, though," Aradia was saying as Tavros gently laid her down on the bed. She was just a slip of a girl; she was too sweet and pretty for all those scars, the old troll thought. "Thanks to Tavros, here! If you hadn't done that trick with their horses -"

"Aww," he said, grinning like a fool as he went for some fresh towels. He'd done this a lot, the barkeep thought sadly. He still remembered how scared he'd been the first time; he'd been shaking so bad at the thought of his moirail dying that he hadn't been able to even move, and the old barkeep had just had to let him shiver until he'd been able to control himself. He understood all too well how that thought. "You're the one who, who got them to run away, though... I'm just, uh, your helper."

"Oh, come on, don't say that! We're a team right? Team Charge never backs down from villains like the Scourge Sisters!"

"Yes, well, we'd best hope, um, that they don't come back for a while," he says, as he starts working on her simple dress. The wound's bad, but not as bad as he'd feared, at first. "Uh, not that I think they will?"

"Okay, kids, no more talking," the barkeep snapped, at last. He'd indulged them for too long. "We've gotta get to work, here!"

"Oh, right," Tavros said. "Sorry." Aradia just stuck out her tongue, but fell silent all the same.

The injury wasn't the most horrible one he'd ever seen; it had narrowly avoided piercing anything lethal. Still, it was touch and go for a while, and all he had in terms of painkillers were a few strong drinks. He got Tavros to feed them to her, and she did, all the while whispering very softly that she was going to be all right, that he was there for her. And she'd drink them down, and then whisper back that she knew, and then wince again as he went digging for the shot that was still in there somewhere.

After a while, though, it was done, as well as it could be - no more bleeding, the bullet out, the wound clean and covered. "You're gonna have to stay here," he said. "Tavros. Help me carry her up somewhere more comfortable."

"Right," he said, and they carried her upstairs together, Tavros at her shoulders and the barkeep at her feet. Fortunately no one had come in to see the spectacle - still too nervous about the Scourge, no doubt - and they got her up to a private room easily enough.

"Okay, I've gotta deal with that damned door now," the old man said once they'd gotten her settled in. She was dozing now, which was good. "Keep an eye on her and come and get me if you need me, right?"

"Oh! Right. Here," Tavros said, and handed him some money - it was more than the damages cost, far more, but the old man didn't embarrass him by turning it away. Team Charge didn't care about money, or so they both said. "Thanks again," he said, smiling. "I mean, seriously. I really can't thank you enough for all you've, um, done for me and Aradia."

"It's all right, kid," he said, and smiled. Every time he looked at them he saw his own moirail, bleeding out what he had left of his yellow blood, yelling at him to get away or else the bandits would kill them both. Helping the kids was as much a way to help himself as anything else. At least it made him feel a little less useless anymore. "It's all right."

Tavros was sitting by her tank and stroking her forehead as he went downstairs.

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3JOHN

[vinenettle]

Roxy <3 Sollux

Workplace Romance + Supernatural

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3JOHN

[vinenettle]

John <3 Rose

Gothic + Romantic Tragedy

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

[janeybriggs]

Dave<>Terezi, slice of life + detective story

FILL: TEAM JADE<3JOHN

[reddpop]

I hope this is ok?? i'm not sure if I hit the genres correctly... this instantly came into my mind when I saw the prompt so I just went with it... ;uvu

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

[janeybriggs]

Roxy<3<Nepeta, high school au+ romantic comedy

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

[janeybriggs]

Dirk<3Gamzee, military science fiction+sitcom

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

[janeybriggs]

Jade<3Rose, roadtrip+magical realism

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

[janeybriggs]

Aradia<3<Feferi, supernatural romance (of the sea creature variety?? maybe??)+historical fiction

PROMPT: Karkat<3Karkat

[doubleohally]

Karkat <> Karkat
Hurt/comfort + horror

FILL: TEAM EQUIUS<3ERIDAN

[messageredacted]

Warning: sadstuck, doomed timelines.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board ALSKDFASKJDHFLAKJSDHFLAKJSHDF.

CCG: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, BUT I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE MY OWN RAGING STUPIDITY.
CCG: I’VE BEEN FORCED TO TALK TO MYSELF FOR SO LONG THAT YOU’D THINK I’D KNOW MY OWN CAPACITY FOR PAN-MELTING INEPTITUDE BY NOW, BUT NO.
CCG: YOU WOULD BE WRONG.
CCG: I HAVE UNCOVERED FURTHER UNPLUMBED DEPTHS OF PURE BUGFUCK IDIOCY.
CCG: SO FUCK YOU, FUTURE SELF, FOR NOT TELLING ME THE TRULY HUMILIATING CIRCUMSTANCES THAT LED TO/ARE GOING TO LEAD TO MY OWN DEATH.
CCG: ALTHOUGH I GUESS I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG] 1000 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PCG: OKAY, I GIVE IN.
PCG: WHAT HAPPENED?
CCG: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
PCG: I SAW THAT COMING.
PCG: ARE YOU REALLY DYING?
CCG: TO BE HONEST, I DON’T KNOW.
CCG: I WAS HOPING FUTURE ME WOULD SHOW UP TO TELL ME HOW THINGS TURN OUT.
CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I PLAN TO BE, THEN I WOULD COME BACK AND LET ME KNOW.
CCG: SO IF HE NEVER SHOWS UP, THAT MIGHT MEAN THAT I DON’T ACTUALLY MAKE IT.
PCG: YOU SHOULD KNOW IF HE SHOWS UP, BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAD THIS CONVERSATION BACK WHEN YOU WERE ME.
CCG: YEAH.
PCG: HOW BAD ARE YOU HURT?
CCG: PRETTY BAD.
CCG: THERE’S KIND OF A LOT OF BLOOD.
CCG: AND I THINK MY LEG IS BROKEN.
CCG: I DON’T THINK I CAN DRAG MYSELF ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE ALCHEMITER TO MAKE SOME BANDAGES.
CCG: I’LL BLEED OUT BEFORE I GET THERE.
PCG: WELL I’M GLAD TO KNOW WHAT I’LL BE DOING 1000 HOURS FROM NOW.
PCG: I SHOULD MAKE SOME BANDAGES AND TAKE THEM WITH ME.
PCG: WHO CARES ABOUT DOOMED TIMELINES? I’M ALREADY IN ONE.
CCG: I HAD THAT SAME THOUGHT.
CCG: LET’S JUST SAY THAT IT DIDN’T WORK OUT AS PLANNED.
PCG: SO.
CCG: SO.
PCG: WHAT IF YOU TOLD ME WHERE YOU ARE? I COULD GO THERE NOW AND LEAVE YOU SOMETHING.
CCG: WOW.
CCG: I HAD HONESTLY FORGOTTEN THIS PART.
CCG: OKAY, LET’S DO THIS.
CCG: I’M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SECOND MAINTENANCE BLOCK.
PCG: YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.
CCG: JUST SHUT UP.
PCG: TELL ME YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY FALL DOWN THE STAIRS.
CCG: FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS WAS ACTUALLY THE LEAST STUPID PART OF THIS ENTIRE EPIC FUCKUP.
PCG: OKAY.
PCG: WHAT DO YOU NEED?
CCG: BANDAGES. WATER. FOOD. SOMETHING TO USE AS A SPLINT.
CCG: PAINKILLERS. LOTS OF PAINKILLERS.
CCG: I MIGHT BE HERE A WHILE.
PCG: BRB.
CCG: NO RUSH.
CCG: I REMEMBER WHERE I LEFT ALL THAT CRAP SO I’LL SEE IF I CAN DRAG MYSELF OVER TO IT RIGHT NOW.

PCG is idle!
CCG is idle!

PCG: OKAY, I’M BACK.
PCG: BUT YOU’RE NOT.
PCG: FUCK.
PCG: I’M REALLY NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THIS.
PCG: I MEAN, 1000 HOURS IS A LONG TIME TO SPEND BY YOURSELF.
PCG: FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, TEREZI DIED TWO WEEKS AGO, AND SHE WAS THE LAST OF EVERYONE TO GO.
PCG: TWO WEEKS LIVING ALONE ON THIS METEOR HAS BEEN TORTURE.
PCG: THE THOUGHT THAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER PERIGEE IS JUST
PCG: I DON’T KNOW.
PCG: HONESTLY I DON’T KNOW WHETHER I’M HOPING YOU’LL SURVIVE THIS, OR THAT YOU WON’T.
CCG: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
CCG: I THINK THE ONLY REASON I’M STILL GOING IS BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP.
CCG: THANKS FOR THE SUPPLIES, ANYWAY.
CCG: AT LEAST IF I’M GOING TO BLEED OUT, I’LL DO IT IN A PLEASANTLY DRUGGED HAZE.
PCG: HOW BAD IS IT? THE SOLITUDE, I MEAN.
CCG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS THE MOST?
CCG: THE SOUND OF OTHER PEOPLE.
CCG: I WOULDN’T EVEN NEED TO SEE THEM. IF I COULD JUST HEAR THE DISTANT SOUND OF OTHER PEOPLE LIVING ON THE METEOR, IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.
PCG: SHIT.
PCG: I JUST
PCG: LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
CCG: OKAY.
PCG: I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOU SURVIVE OR NOT.
PCG: BOTH OPTIONS SOUND SO SUFFOCATING.
CCG: THEN CLOSE THE MEMO.
CCG: DON’T READ THE END.
CCG: I WON’T SPOIL IT FOR YOU.
PCG: BUT WHAT IF YOU DIE ALONE?
CCG: I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANY OTHER WAY TO DIE.
PCG: I’M SORRY.
CCG: DON’T BE.
CCG: IT HAS TO END SOME TIME.
PCG: I KNOW THIS IS REALLY STUPID, BUT I WISH I COULD BE THERE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
CCG: HEH.
CCG: YOU ARE.
PCG: YEAH BUT
PCG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
CCG: IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO GO NOW.
CCG: CLOSE THIS MEMO AND DON’T LOOK BACK.
PCG: I
PCG: FINE.
PCG: BYE.
CCG: SEE YOU.

CCG banned PCG from responding to memo.

CCG: SO YEAH.
CCG: FUTURE ME.
CCG: IF YOU DO SURVIVE THIS, DO ME A FAVOR.
CCG: DON’T TELL ME.
CCG: I DON’T THINK I WANT TO KNOW.

CCG ceased responding to memo.

PROMPT: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY

[thatreevesgirl]

Pairing: Dirk<3Jake
Genres: Pirates and Slice of Life

(Thank you in advance to whoever fills this, because I'm deliriously excited to see the mundane day-to-day life of pirates)

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

[grimd0rk]

(Did someone say SHAMELESS FLUFF? No? Oops.)

---

It’ll Be An Adventure


Dirk can’t say no to that face. Dirk Strider, the one they call Broadsword, the name carried across the waves as the most fearful pirate this side of the Pacific, is constantly floored by the look on his first mate’s face.

“Jake, really?”

He’s put down his flagon of ale in disgust, staring across the table at Jake. Jake looks so earnest too, gripping his little scrap of paper. Pathetic.

“Jake,” Dirk says again, harsher this time, “you know that’s not a real map, don’t you?”

“Come on, old chap!” Jake says, laying out the map on the table for the fifth time. “Just take a gander at it! Surely you can see the worth in this?”

Dirk stares blankly at it. It is, quite literally, some scribbling on a worn out bit of parchment. “Jake. You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious!”

My god, he is.

Dirk decides then and there that he’s not going to let himself fall victim to Jake’s good looks and easy charm, not this time.

“Look, Jake, we can’t afford to make a detour. You know we have to get the cargo to Crocker before sundown on Friday.”

Jake’s face falls, and it’s like a stab to the heart. Dirk allows the knife to twist within him – he deserves it for being such a bastard to Jake. But this time it’s business first. He stands up and grabs the map before Jake can protest. As he storms off to the sleeping quarters, Jake calls out after him.

“Dirk! It’ll be an adventure!”

Dirk ignores him and shuts the door to his cabin with a clash that echoes back down into the galley where Jake is still sitting, probably mourning the loss of his map.

He regrets it the moment the door is closed. He’s acting like the worst sort of adolescent – the kind his brother told him never to become. Dirk had kept up that visage of composure his whole life, and Jake was the only person who had ever managed to peel it back and make Dirk feel like an immature, spoiled brat. Lord Jake English, the unlikely recruit from the upper echelons of society with nerves of steel and a spirit of adventure like no other.

Dirk flops down on his bunk and throws the map down to the side. It floats benignly to the floor, swaying in time with the gentle bobbing of the boat. He’s getting a headache. He just wants to pretend that nothing is happening. That he has no duties and that the boat will steer itself.

There’s a knock on his door, which comes as something of a surprise. He didn’t expect Jake to be there so soon.

“Dirk Strider,” he says, “come out and talk to me this instant!”

“Fuck off and polish your sword,” Dirk snaps.

Jake bangs on the door. “Jesus christ on a sinking frigate, you are incorrigible! I just want to talk!”

“There's nothing to fucking talk about! I’m sick of you and your endless quest for excitement, Jake.”

“Oh you did not just say that!” Jake yelled. “I’ve had it with your nonsense, Strider! All I have ever done is make suggestions, most of which have turned out to be good ones. You owe me a lot!”

Dirk jumps up from his bunk and flings open the door, standing face to face with Jake, looking angrier than he’d ever seen him. “Not. Everything. Has. To. Be. An. ADVENTURE!”

Jake shoves him forward into his cabin and shuts the door behind them. He kisses Dirk.

Hard.

Dirk stumbles backwards and allows Jake to push him onto the bed. He was not expecting that.

Although perhaps after a five-year relationship, he should have been.

“You are without a single doubt, Strider, the worst captain I have ever had the misfortune to serve under.”

“And the only,” Dirk corrects him, running a hand through his lover's hair and kissing him lightly.

“So how about we pick that map up off the floor and take a bit of a different route than we had planned?”

And, god damn it, it’s that face again, and Dirk can’t say no.

The most fearsome pirate captain in the land, conquered once again.

PROMPT: TEAM Dave<3Rose<3Terezi

[dragon_bagon]

Kaiju (Think giant monsters destroying the city... or just google it I guess,) + Slice of Life for Aranea<3Meenah!

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

[lustfullyc.livejournal.com]

Kanaya <3 Jade

Supernatural + Bad Fic

FILL: Team Alpha!Dave♥Alpha!Rose TAGS: [NSFW]

[arctickayla]

(I couldn't resist. I tried to incorporate my favorite things from WTFFanfiction.)

Kanaya looked to the ebony haired girl with a glint in her eye, and the troll said, "But You Should Watch Yourself At Night! You Don't kNow what kiNd of MOnsters Lurk In the Dark!" she whispered forcefully. "Oh nooooo" Jade ejaculated, "but thats okai because your so bright. You like a nightlight."

But what jade didnt know was that Kanaya was a rainbow drinker aka A VAMPIORE!!!! So when Jade nesteled into her sleeping bag cozy and tight, wearing a pair of soft fleece pajamas with little white doggies on them and baby blue buttons, with white trim all around the seems and her long black, ebony hair spilling out the sides like a tropical plant in a chicken farm Kanaya krept up over Jade. The glowing lady blooddrinker sniffed in deep, taking in her lusus human scent.

Sudently, Jades eyes SNOPPED open! "Kanaya, whut are you doing leaning over me like that?" she questioned erotically. "I Want You Inside Me" hissed the troll girl
Okay, but you can't suck my blood" the human girl interjected.
"Great! I'm So Glad You Spent the nIght!" and Kanaya proceeded to whip out her gigantic alien love pole and insert it into Jades longing meat socket.

Kanaya eyes scrunched up and lazerbeam rainbows errupted from her nosehair

AAAAAAH I'M COMING" screamed Kanaya and she came

"I want you to know that I donn't have an animal fetish, just to clarify you didn't need to make those barking noises" Jade made clear to her lover.

"But tHat Was The Ghost That Posesses mE When I make Love" Kanaya said confusingly.

"You are a vampire posses by a ghost oh SPOOKY" quicpered the frisky lass.

"But its fine because We Both Love You!!" Said Kanaya and the Ghost in unision. "Good cuz i love u two!" Jade said with gusto. They proceeded to fall asleep tangled up like buddies in Jades plush sleeping bag, lulled into post-coital slumberland on the clouds of Kanaya's erratic barking.

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA

[cest_what]

Aranea♥Meenah, high school romcom and urban fantasy

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA

[cest_what]

Karkat ♣ (Terezi/Vriska), spy thriller and comedy of manners

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

[wallwalker]

You know you're in for a tough night as soon as you recognize the shape of Vriska's horns, the twin stings of two dangerous beasts rising none too demurely out of her long black hair.

You groan to yourself as you finish a long drink of something that was probably derived from Faygo, back in its history. You don't usually like the stuff - it reminds you far too much of the bottles that you have to remind your moirail to put back in the coolifier - but it's oddly bracing, and you could use more of that tonight. Terezi is somewhere in the back room, chatting with her fellow Legislaterators, but she'll get wind of this soon enough. Best you reach her first.

You're on your best behavior for the night, you remind yourself. No vulgar language, at least not where anyone can hear, and no outright displays of romantic intent, ashen or otherwise. You've never been ejected from one of these galas before, although you very nearly did have to leave when they tried to send Gamzee away for being entirely too pale for their comfort. You sure as shit are not going to make this the first time.

Vriska, as usual, is dressed on the very edge of appropriate for these gathering - no uniform, her formal suit on the edge of too plain, her decorations only just hinting at her blood color. You wonder what name she's using this time, or if she's even trying to hide anymore.

Fortunately you don't have to come up with a flimsy pretext to pull her away; she nods and makes excuses as soon as you've caught her eye, and sashays over to you, swinging her long wild hair. "Well, hello, Lord Vantas," she murmurs to you, looking you up and down. "Bright and bold as ever, I see!"

You are NOT going to be embarrassed, you tell yourself - you're the one who's dressed appropriately for your surroundings. "Not as bold as you are," you answer back. You've got to keep your voice down. You can't let anyone stare. "So, who are you today?"

"Ah, of course, how very rude of me!" She hands you a card. You barely glance at it. "This place is entirely too stuffy for my tastes. Shall we take to the balcony?"

You don't even have to think to translate that bullshit. "Of course," you say.

She offers you her arm before you can offer yours. You sigh and take it, releasing it only to press a few buttons - you want the balcony to be private, with one notable exception, of course.

The balcony is private enough, and you drop the courtesy as soon as you're there. "Okay, Serket," you say - not the name she's using now, but who cares, seriously. "What the fuck is going on, and why couldn't you have at least warned me first that you were going to show up here?"

"Aww, Karkat! Is it SO hard for you to believe that I just missed you?" she says, pouting. "I wanted to see you! And her too, if she's here -"

"Oh, you know she's here. You know damn well she's here and you probably know where she is, and you're just waiting for someone to tell her that someone who looks an awful lot like her old kismesis is here so that you didn't have to make a scene. Not that I'd let either of you do that shit in the middle of a gala." Good grief, but you're starting to wish you had a drink. "And all of that aside, I know you didn't just come here for the food and the company. So why don't you just cut the crap and tell me the other reason that you're here, before I go up to one of the drones and tell them who you really are?"

There's a moment of silence as she stares at you, her irritation finally starting to show. It cracks quickly, though, and she starts to applaud, and you hold back a groan. Maybe you'd have some kind of blood cocktail after this, you think. Something green. "Oh, Karkat, you never fail to disappoint! But if you don't mind, I'd like to wait until Terezi arrives. She has an important part to play in this caper!"

Oh, no. "Fine," you say. "So I guess we make stupid fucking small talk until she gets here, huh?"

"If by small talk you mean that I tell you all of the amazing spy adventures I've been up to, then yes," she says. "Do you realize I just got back from an entire planet of separatists who thought I was their glorious leader by the time I was done with them?"

You sigh. "Oh, yes, Vriska. Do put some excitement into my life with your amazingly self-centered tales of - oh, wait, that's right, I don't fucking care."

"You don't? Yeah, right," Vriska said, and laughed. "Come on, it's like something out of your action films! I seduced a half-dozen jerks who thought there was something off about me, I cracked into a database with just two fingers - heck, I actually had to charge into a burning building and run out with a whole armful of wrigglers! Do you know what they did after I faked my death and ran off with all of their secrets? They made a statue of me in my honor, Karkat. A statue!"

"Look, if I want to know about this, I'll watch the Vriska Serket Awesomeness Hour. Oh, wait, it doesn't exist and it never will, because no one cares -"

"You presume far too much, Karkat!"

You nearly jump right out of your skin. "HOLY SHIT TEREZI WHEN DID YOU GET HERE," you say, before you can calm down enough to remember the rules of grammar and sentence construction. "I had this thing set to alert me -"

"There are ways around such measures!" Terezi is looking quite dapper, as usual, in her red uniform. Her glasses gleam quite eagerly as she walks closer. "And once again you presume that because you are bored with Vriska's self-centered ramblings, that I must be as well!"

"Awww, Terezi," she says, grinning in that convoluted way she has, baring all of her teeth. "I knew you missed me."

"Of course," Terezi answers, leaning in just close enough to make you nervous, not enough that it would be appropriate to physically separate them. Yet. These two know you far too well. "And I would very much like to hear these stories! How else am I to know the width and breadth of your sins?"

"If I'm a sinner, then you're the devil," Vriska shoots back.

"Enough," you say, taking a step forward. It's enough to convince them that maybe they should separate. "Look. Vriska. You said you were waiting for Terezi to tell us the big news, okay? So look, here she is. Start talking."

"Big news?" Terezi perked up a bit. "Really?"

"Yes, why do you think I'm here?" She leans in closer to both of you and starts to whisper. "Rumor has it that there are whisperings of betrayal amongst the highest levels of government, here on this very colony. Her Imperial Benevolence, of course, sent me to examine them, and to deal with any traitors that I find."

"Ooooh," Terezi said. "Vriska, you had me at traitors."

"Wait," you say, "hold on, just a fucking minute. Why doesn't Feferi just come down and accuse them? Why send you to tiptoe around them?"

"Because she doesn't have any proof! Just reports," Vriska says with exaggerated patience. "We have information that they're wanting to secretly set the culling drones on non-lawbreakers that they don't like, for one thing."

"Hmph," you say, trying to not look worried. You're pretty sure it's not working, though. You were first in line for the culling drones when Feferi took the throne by force, and everyone knows it. "Okay. Look. I want to hear more about this, but we're gonna have to head back somewhere private. Terezi, your moirail's off planet right now, so how about we go there?" You'd really rather not complicate things by getting your moirail involved in this. He probably would, too, just to protect you.

"Why, yes, Karkat, I am sufficiently intrigued that I will not be cross with you for volunteering my home for our clandestine meeting," she says, but she's smiling. You think that's a good sign, this time.

"Well, then, it's a date!" Vriska brushes her hair back and pulls away from both of you. "I have to go mingle a little bit longer. One hour, okay? You kids have fun!" And just like that she's gone, probably out there mingling a little more, pretending that she isn't about to start spying on the government tomorrow. She'll probably end up flirting with one of them before the night was through, for that matter!

"Well," Terezi said behind you, "that went well!"

"Yeah," you say, sighing. "You mind giving me your access code? I'll head back to your place and sweep for bugs and things."

"There's no need of that! I do such things regularly, as a good enforcer of the law must." Then she looks at your face again, and shrugs. "Then again, I suppose that if it would make you feel better, you may have a turn as well. I will send you the code en-route!"

"Thanks," you say. "Stay out of trouble, okay? Especially with her."

She grins. "Trouble," she says dramatically, posing for a moment before she walks back out through the privacy field, "can wait until tonight."

You have no doubt she means it, too. Judging from past experience, you're in for a night of top-secret spy shenanigans interspersed with ashen makeouts, and you're honestly not sure how much of either of them you can handle.

Ah, well. One does what one must for the Empire, you tell yourself as you disable the field. Besides, who knows? You might even enjoy it. A little.

You are, you think with a sigh, the worst liar in the universe. Especially to yourself.

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

[lustfullyc.livejournal.com]

Ψiioniic <3/<3<(I don't care) Her Imperious Condescension

Fairytale + Found Poetry