hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 1

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.

Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!

You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.

Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Page 35 of 146

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Thank you!

"I think, Miss Serket," suggested Captain Pyrope, "that that is as fake as this incredibly fake portrait you have just handed me."

(This was the exact point where I fell in love.)

Oh my god, this is the best thing to come home to after a whole day of exams. You somehow picked the exact time period I vaguely hoped for, and I absolutely love the tension and playful secrecy you've worked in.

Thank you so much!!!

“Scalpel.” Karkat commanded.
“Scalpel, please.”
“Damnit, Gamzee! I said SCALPEL!” Karkat raised his head and turned to look at his juggalo compatriot.
“Gamzee, what the hell are you doing? This is serious surgery!”
Gamzee Makara was too busy dancing with a prop medical skeleton to hear Karkat’s commands. All Karkat could do was sigh. Why he decided to join Gamzee in troll medical school was beyond him. Karkat sat on his stool and thought about his years of medical training. Hard hours of studying and memorizing filled his nights. He’d developed a horrible habit of not sleeping. Meanwhile, Gamzee had the time of his life. Partying and not caring who knew. It’s one of his trademark miracles that he passed and got his degree.
All of a sudden, a bony hand struck Karkat across his face. It stung like a motherfucker.
“Goddamnit, Gamzee! What the fuck are you trying to do?”
“En garde, motherfucker.” Gamzee declared, as he took a fencing stance.
“Oh no. Not this aga-.“
He was slapped with the skeleton’s arm again. “Gamzee, we’ll get in trouble. This man needs our medical atten-“
Slapped for a third time. “THAT IS IT! YOU ARE GOING DOWN, CLOWN!”
Karkat ripped the other arm off the faux skeleton, and began to fight. Plaster bone struck against plaster bone as the two swordfought. Neither one had the advantage, just a steady back and forth. Tit for tat they went, for what seemed like hours. Karkat slowly realized why Gamzee and he were such good pals. They needed each other. Karkat needed the time to relax, and Gamzee needed to learn to shape his shit up and get some work done for once in his hedonist life.
Just then a scream rang out. It was the patient. He was off his anesthesia. The patient looked down into his gaping hole in his torso, containing all his various inner workings. The arm-wielding two eyed each other with a sense of “Oh shit” rushing over them. Another scream. He then collapsed and flatlined. The patient was dead.
Gamzee and Karkat looked at each other with a common realization.
“We are so fired. Gamzee, let’s get out of here.” Karkat pleaded, arm-sword in hand.
“Wait just a fuckin’ second. Let’s take some souvenirs. Just in case.”
“What are you talking about, you crazy clown.”
Gamzee proceeded to reach his hand inside the patient and pulled out an organ. He didn’t know what it was; he never studied in medical school. He stuffed it, along with several other items from the patient’s person into his lab coat. He gave Karkat a sly smirk.
“No, wait.” He said as he came to a realization. “I’m not gonna get organs like this any motherfucking time soon. Better stock up.”
Again, he reached down into the new corpse and pulled out a veritable grocery list of various organs and intestines. Each of which he looked at for a second, sniffed, and stuck in his labcoat. His labcoat, which contained many pockets, was full to the brim with various Dead Patient memorabilia. The sleeves were covered in mustard colored blood.
“Alright, my motherfucking candyblood brother. Let’s get the motherfuck out of here.” He said with a slasher smile on his face.
All Karkat could do was stare, mouth agape. He violently shook his head, possibly to shake the image out of his head. But, that wasn’t going to work. Finally, he spoke.
“Yes. Now that you’ve desecrated this poor sap’s body, let’s get the everloving shit out of here.”
Gamzee headed for the window, ready to make a daring escape, organs and all. Karkat stepped infront of him, urgently.
“You idiot! We’re on the fifth floor! That would ruin you!” Karkat pointed out, desperate to get out of this horrible situation without any more casualties.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Wouldn’t want to squish my meat armor.”
“Your what?”
“My meat armor. I’m gonna make like a motherfucking second body over my first one. Then I’ll be motherfucking invincible! I just need more skin. You know where I can get some fucking skin, bro?”
“We do not have time for your insane exoskeleton, you juggalo mental patient! I want to get out of here alive! Just play it cool while we take the elevator down to the ground floor. Then, we can run to my car, and we can escape. Can you do that for me? Please, Gamzee?”
“Alright, bro. Gotta make sacrifices for your bros, right?”
They both nodded and snuck out of the hospital room containing the now hollow cadaver. Trying to act as inconspicuously as possible, they snuck down the corridors. Karkat noticed Gamzee had his hands holding his stomach, acting very nervously. The walls were cold and the floors were slick with the trail of blood. The janitorial staff needed to get paid more. This was a shit hospital, now that Karkat thought about it. Sanitation was a foreign concept here.
The pair of medical fugitives snuck surreptitiously into the velvet-walled elevator. They prayed that there was no one in the elevator besides them. Their prayers went unanswered. The elevator was nearly full, but most of them didn’t seem to notice the bloated blood-soaked labcoat of the deranged clown doctor and his accomplice, an angry, sleep-deprived troll with nubby horns and a sense of secrecy, enter as anything strange. Most of them let the two be. The few who noticed, eyed Gamzee and Karkat with suspicion.
The next two minutes felt like hours as Gamzee’s organs swished and swirled with his movements. He leaned over to Karkat, smiled, and whispered to him.
“Hey, bro. Guess what?”
“What?” Karkat whispered, obvious anger rising in his voice.
“I feel like a motherfuckin’ burrito. All squishy. Yum. Can we go get burritos after we’re done with this?”
Karkat glared at him, his stare burning through Gamzee like a laserbeam.
“Fine.”
“Yay! You’re the best motherfucking bro ever.“ Gamzee said as he pulled Karkat in for a hug. Karkat could feel the organs. Swishing, swirling. The way the organs squeezed up against Karkat’s body gave his stomach a nasty swirl. He gagged. He hunched over and emptied his lunch on the carpeted floor.
“Bro!” Gamzee yelled, concern built in his eyes and voice. “Bro, you ok? Are we still gonna get burritos?” He raised his arms over his head and all the organs spilled out onto the floor. The crowded elevator door opened and screaming masses fled out. Karkat, panicking, screamed RUN! Gamzee collected his organs and bolted to the front door. They kicked the double doors open, jumped into the car and sped off.
“Gamzee. You are one demented jester, you sick son of a bitch. We are so lucky to make it out of there alive. Now, let’s go get burritos! Maybe we could get you some of that skin you’re looking for. I know Taco Bell has extra.”
“Taco Bell has skin?”
“Yeah, what do you think the meat is?”
“YAY!” Gamzee shouted as they drove off to Taco Bell to finish one of the craziest days a pair of best troll bros could ever have together.
------------------------------------------

Kinda long, but I had fun writing it.

Eridan <3< Jade

Lab lit + dark comedy

Edited 2012-06-11 19:09 (UTC)

I am speechless.

Eridan<3/<3<(don't care)Dualscar

Time Travel + Bodice-ripper romance

Consider it done.

Dave<3<Vriska Clockpunk + Murder Mystery

Karkat<>Gamzee

Historical AU + Letters

(i think this is the most unhinged thing ive ever written. please be aware - trigger warning for extremely explicit violence!!)

~

There are three cars in the parking lot of the little off-road diner, baking under the late afternoon sun. He pulls in and makes it four.

The air outside is thick and heavy and when he slams his door behind him it stirs up the dust on the cracked tarmac, blown in from the fields and the wakes of the cars that don’t stop, that pass on through. There’s nothing here to see except the fields and the blue haze of the mountains in the distance. The line of the road continues die-straight to the horizon.

The heat shimmers off the tarmac in unreal waves around his feet as he crosses the lot. A single blue neon tube looped and shaped to form the word BAR in curlicued font stands lopsided in the diner’s window, flashing offbeat, its edges indistinct behind the smeared and fingerprinted glass. The metal panel on the door that says PUSH TO OPEN is hot to the touch when he does.

She’s there.

She’s on her knees by the last booth with a look on her face like she’s found rapture in the entrails of the man she’s gutted, his wrist destroyed in her mouth, the stains rich and black down her sharp jade dress.

There is a woman sprawled out beside her in a seeping pool of blood, the head lolling almost removed from the body by the absolute destruction of the throat. Things are visible in the wreckage, wet and glistening, caught in the flickering fluorescent lighting. There is a handprint in red on the hem of her shirt.

The wet and rapid sound of her lapping at the wrist is somehow still louder than the drone of the diner’s fan blades overhead.

She raises her face towards him. Her eyes are the same brilliant green as her dress once was and she wipes her mouth before she speaks with a delicacy so deliberate it’s surreal.

Please Feel Free To Leave If You Wish

I Would Hate For You To Feel As Though My Presence Here Is Somehow Impeding Your Departure

He catches sight of feet in navy Converse slumped out behind the counter. He looks back to her. She is still waiting for his response; she has other people’s blood clumped and congealed into her pixie cut.

I Assure You I Am Quite Satisfied With The Company I Am Already Keeping

In Any Case, she adds, after a moment, I Doubt There Is Enough Of You To Make For A Satisfying Meal

IF I

She waits politely. He tries again.

IF I ASKED WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING HERE WOULD YOU TELL ME

OR WOULD YOU MAKE SOME

SOME COY FUCKING RIDDLE OF A RESPONSE WRAPPED IN A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN A MIND-BOGGLING CADAVER-BASED CONUNDRUM ALL TIED WITH A BOW MADE OF SOME POOR SHIT’S FRESH AND GLEAMING ENTRAILS???

Why Don’t You Find Out

He keeps looking at her because the alternative is at the abattoir around her. She licks her lips. It is possible she is shaking.

I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THIS CANNOT BE THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF GETTING YOUR SLAUGHTERHAPPY FIX.

And Do You Have Any Alternative Suggestions

WELL, SEEING AS YOU’RE ASKING!

FIRST THING, THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE AN HOMAGE TO EVERY PIECE OF SHIT SLASHER FLICK ELI ROTH EVER SHAT.

YOU’RE TRYING TOO HARD.

YOU’RE TRYING TO LIVE UP TO SOMETHING AND IT’S JUST NOT WORKING FOR YOU. THIS IS NOT YOUR STYLE.

She wipes her mouth again, and then again, dissatisfied. The fan above stutters and whirrs.

Do You Have Any Further Observations To Make Before This Eventful Meeting Must Be Regretfully Concluded

OH YOU BET I DO!

SECOND THING, DON’T FUCKING **KILL** PEOPLE.

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

I Hitchhiked With The Gentleman To Your Left

OKAY. LEAVE WITH ME.

I Beg Your Pardon

LEAVE WITH ME. WE’LL

JESUS FUCK WHAT AM I SAYING

WE’LL SORT SOMETHING OUT.

I Appreciate The Sentiment But –

NO. DON’T EVEN TRY AND TELL ME IT DOESN’T GET TEDIOUS SPENDING EVERY WAKING HOUR DECIDING WHICH LUCKLESS PRE-STIFF YOU’LL BE ACCELERATING TO THE AFTERLIFE NEXT.

AND OF COURSE YOU LEAVE YOUR MURDER SCENES LOOKING LIKE THIS BUT STILL EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THE THOUGHT OF ENDING YOUR DAYS STRAPPED INTO A CHAIR WITH YOUR EYEBALLS EXPLODING AND A BILLION VOLTS MELTING THE SOFT IMPORTANT BITS INSIDE OF YOU HAS NOT CROSSED YOUR FUCKING MIND???

I Am Always Meticulous About The State Of My

My Feeding Zones

The fan stirs the heavy scent of meat around the diner. They look at each other.

Although

I Admit There May Be Certain Advantages To Your Support

UH HUH. KEEP GOING.

To Having The Support Of A Person I Trust

WELL NOW, YOU DON’T SAY!

When he offers her his hand she takes it and stands, and hugs him tighter than she has for a long time.

They leave together, reeking and sticky with the blood of strangers, and when his car peels out of the parking lot back onto the endless highway they are holding hands tight over the gearstick.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5gwbnRxV81qgxnlno1_r2_500.png

hehe this was really fun!

Something awesome, obviously! XD

Film Noir + Psychological Horror, Bro<3Grandpa.

Edited 2012-06-11 20:26 (UTC)

Clockpunk + Action Adventure, Dirk<3<Equius

Edited 2012-06-11 20:26 (UTC)

Dirk<3Equius

Court Intrigue + Dark Comedy

congrats vresk skret you win the saddest baby award.

;__;

John <3 Karkat
Alpaca romance + Action

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT THING THAT COULD HAVE COME OUT OF THIS. YOU ARE FLAWLESS.

oh, that's beautiful! I love faerie queen Jade <3

oh my god pony detective

wow this is so good

MY GOD. This is just... JUST BEAUTIFUL! Amazing! Wow! Oh god wow, thank you thank you thank you so much!! *A*

Circus + Action Violence for Gamzee<3Tavros

I hope this is what you wanted! also it... turned into angst oops

---

4.12.2016

My name is Rose Lalonde. It is my birthday; I am eighteen years old. Today I was shot in the shin whilst running from the Condesce’s drones. As a result I’m unlikely to be running much in the near future.

Feferi has encouraged me to record my thoughts and feelings in this diary, though I can’t say I see the point (unless I am to analyse myself, which is inefficient at best). Still, my more fictitious works have long passed into oblivion and it’s unlikely anyone else exists who is as informed as I am with regard to of our plight. The onus is therefore on me to keep some kind of record for future generations, the low probability of there being any future generations notwithstanding.

We won. This should have been our reward. A perfect planet laid out for us. And so it was, for the first year or so. The dream bubbles deposited our friends safe and sound. We got to live happily ever after, reunited with the friends we had lost on a near-perfect copy of the Earth we had destroyed.

It was 2010 when the Condesce’s ship came through. We don’t know how she entered our universe, why she’s here or what she wants. As far as I can tell she is searching for a way to recreate the race she once ruled over, fuelled by some desperate desire to return to a home that no longer exists. She is as much a product of the game as we are.

We tried to keep the trolls’ continuing existence secret from her whilst fighting back against her growing power. She is a leech that latches on to anything it can reach and sucks all vitality from it. Perhaps we held her back, but it cost so much and the end result was the same. We weren’t deluded, though I was perhaps the only one who could see how slim our chances were.

She discovered them eventually. Vriska grew tired of waiting and went on a suicide mission to stop her, and now everything we have built is quite literally crashing down around us.

Feferi is doing her best to heal my injury but these weapons are like nothing we’ve seen before. She can keep me alive indefinitely but unless my leg heals I will be entirely dependant on her.

We were headed that way anyway. She is much better equipped to cope with the water. She is also physically and mentally stronger than me. You could say that she’s thriving. The environment now is better suited to her than it was when we first made it.

She insists that I get some rest.

5.12.2040

The horrorterrors came just now and I don’t know ghhas’t thuftg ga'knatt luian’gung ftathk

-

I know if I sleep for even a moment they'll come for me but as I get more and more tired I can feel my eyes closing of their own accord and I know that when I do sleep they will be on me. There is a cold ache at the very back of my head, somewhere below my pituitary gland if I remember correctly. I don’t know if they’re stronger because I am weak or if perhaps the Furthest Ring has some involvement. There aren’t any other humans for miles around, so it’s impossible to tell whether this is specific to me.

It must be. Their touch is so intimate.

I thought perhaps my god tier would protect me. I don’t know any more what’s a part of the game and what is yet another blip in the data.

-

Feferi is exhausted but it’s nothing new for her. Our sparkling new world made no room for recuperacoons. She is keeping me up with every method she can think of. We have gone through the entire repertoire of the Squiddles soundtrack at least twice.

She is reading over my shoulder as I write. Her skin is cold and prohibits any kind of comfort. We may have finally found a way to keep me awake.

6.12.2040

I fell asleep in her arms and slept through much of the day and following night. When I woke she was leaving to find some breakfast. We dined on fat fish and seaweed, regular staples of our diet now that so much of the world is under water.

I am cold almost all of the time but she says I am the warmest thing in this stinking hideout. She has such resilience against the horrorterrors that it seems to rub off on me. When she is with me they are kept at bay.

Outside the weather is much as it always is. The rain falls with little enthusiasm. The roar of the river permeates everything like it is constantly angry that it is constrained. Its fingers creep into the remnants of meadows and tickle the waterlogged earth.

I can now move my leg and take shuffling steps across the room, leaning on her for support. Slowly but surely, it’s healing.

9.12.2040

We went swimming together today, hoping the exercise would tease out the last aches in my leg. The water was murky and far from calm, but she held me and laughed when a wave knocked me backwards and left me gasping for air. When I’d caught my breath she kissed me. Her lips tasted of salt and I felt something dark move under my skin.

Perhaps the similarity to the Condesce should unnerve me, but it doesn’t. She is everything the Condesce isn’t and if anyone can stop her, it’s Feferi.

We managed a few moments of radio connection today. Florida and New York are both entirely submerged and it’s uncertain how long the rest of America will last. Not satisfied with destroying our species, the Condesce seems also set on destroying our planet, and once she’s finished with us I have no doubt she’ll move onto the next universe she can find.

There’s no way the new Earth can survive this kind of punishment. It’s dying no matter what we do. My main worry is for Feferi and myself in the immediate future. Since Vriska died we have been separated from our friends and I don’t know what has become of them, or if they are still alive. There was a garbled missive from Dave a few weeks ago which made it sound like Terezi was not in great shape, but other than that it’s been silent.

We can survive until our heroic deaths and I will not be unhappy as long as Feferi is here. I have no intention to seek out heroism but I have a terrible feeling that it is seeking us.

15.12.2040

Another drone attack. We dumped their bodies in the river.

19.12.2040

Drones again. Feferi’s arm is broken. Judging by the rate of healing it will be back to normal within a day or so.

22.12.2040

Attacked. Feferi’s arm was still weak but we fought them off.

23.12.2040

Attacked.

24.12.2040

Attacked.

25.12.2040

Attacked. Christmas Day. We celebrated with some old chocolate we’d been saving.

26.12.2040

Attacked.

11.01.2041

The Condesce found us.

Several of her drones had escaped the more recent fights unscathed. We think they told her where we were.

She used her psychic abilities on me and there is a short period during which my memory is hazy. However, Feferi distracted her and from then on the Condesce’s attention was largely focused on Feferi. For my part I had my hands full fighting off drones.

After some

-

I fell asleep whilst writing.

I managed to keep the drones off and was slowly wearing them down, but in the meantime I was becoming increasingly tired. The paths highlighted in my mind’s eye became less a matter of dealing the most damage and more simply keeping them off whilst expending the least energy. Feferi and the Condesce showed no sign of tiring.

The world was blurring into a series of glowing pathways overlaid onto the usual drizzle of rain gleaming on metal by the time I had incapacitated all of the drones. I stumbled and collapsed to my knees in exhaustion and may have been unconscious for a moment. When I woke the Condesce and Feferi were still fighting.

The Condesce was paying no attention to me as she lashed out at Feferi. As I stood, slowed by my aching muscles, I saw a single thread of possibility grow brighter and brighter. My arms moved without any conscious intention to ready my needles. I ran, a burst of adrenaline forcing my feet to move. I called on the horrorterrors that were never too well suppressed to help me.

In a few seconds it was over. The Condesce staggered under my weight as I leapt at her and drove my needles into her back. She drove an elbow into my stomach and desperately tried to swing her trident at me, but I kept the needles impaled into her as tendrils flowed from my skin and wrapped around her throat. Feferi took the opportunity to stab her ancestor in the gut.

The empress’ blood stained the ground bright purple.

The heir to the empire caught me as I blacked out.

12.01.2040

We’re still alive and will continue in such a state until chance sees fit to end us. The waters won’t stop rising and we have no idea how to reverse it. From what we can estimate we have a few years until the entire continent is underwater.

Feferi has plans to perhaps find the Condesce’s ship and assume control. We could pilot it anywhere, though there’s nowhere I want to go. After seeking out whatever other trolls and humans are left alive it’s possible we’ll stay in orbit around our drowned prize indefinitely.

I don’t know if drowning constitutes a heroic death. I have no desire to find out.

Edited 2012-06-19 23:03 (UTC)

oh my gosh, someone please do this. asdfghjk

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 35 of 146

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Re: FILL: Team Jake<3Jane

Re: FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY

no subject

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3ROXY

PROMPT: TEAM BRO<3JOHN

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3ROSE<3TEREZI

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

Re: PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3JADE

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<3ROXY

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3DAVE

FILL: TEAM FEFERI<3VRISKA

Re: FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

Re: FILL: TEAM ROSE<3ROXY

PROMPT: TEAM BRO<3JOHN

Re: FILL: TEAM JADE<3KARKAT

no subject

Re: PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

Re: FILL: TEAM Dirk<3Equius

PROMPT: TEAM FEFERI<3EQUIUS

FILL: TEAM Dave<3<Karkat<3Terezi<3Dave

Re: PROMPT: TEAM JOHN<3VRISKA