hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 2

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

The Return of Round Robin Fanadventures

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

Hi shippers! Welcome to Bonus Round 2.
Round Robin Fanadventures generated so much awesome stuff last year that we decided to bring it back!

For those who are new to HSO, this is not actually that complicated a concept, but it might be a little tricky to explain, so bear with me. The point of this round is to create a bunch of fanadventures that are for a team other than your own.

Rules

If you are starting a new adventure: start a new thread using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art setting a scene (or both!), and finish with a command (==> does not count as a command for new threads). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
If you are continuing an adventure: find a thread that does not center around your team's ship. Then comment using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art continuing the scene (or both!), and finish with a command (this can include ==>, though generally we would prefer otherwise). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
For ease of reading, we suggest using standardized image sizes. 600x400 landscape is a pretty good size! But as long as it's the same as the other images in the thread, people will have an easier time following along. The HTML for inserting images is <img src="http://yourimageurlhere.com">
For this challenge, there is no minimum wordcount. We are trusting you not to abuse that fact!
You may not comment twice in a row in one adventure. The point is to hand off the scene like a hot potato.
You may not introduce or create for your team's ship into a fanadventure. If someone else introduces your team's ship to a thread, you can still contribute to that thread so long as your contributions do not involve your ship.
This challenge will run until 11:59PM EDT July 7. After that time, even if it's just by a minute according to the LJ timestamp, no submissions will be accepted for points.

NOTES:

Audio posts are fine, so long as you include a transcript.
Please make sure to check that your titles are correct!
You may answer commands that have already been answered. Think of it like a 'choose your own adventure' game!

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [THEIR SHIP] with the ship you want this particular fanadventure thread to be. Remember that you cannot create a fanadventure based on your own ship. Whatever ship you choose must be represented by a HSO team not your own. The only exception is gen adventures, which are permitted.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with. If your team name is not in this format and in the title it may not be counted.

If you are continuing a thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [COMMAND] with whatever command the previous fill has specified.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your title is not in this format it may not be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
(as stated here)
First 5 entries per team: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+: 5 (per entry)

All fanadventure content must be created new for this round.

We would prefer that any questions about this challenge or anything else in the HSO be emailed to us at homestuck.shipping AT gmail!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You are MARQUISE SPINNERET MINDFANG, scourge of the sea and hunter of all things shiny and valuable. You are currently questing for PRECIOUS 8OOTY that's somewhere out here, though it's probably going to take a while to find. Your loyal mount is 8EAUTIFUL SLAVE GIRL WHOSE NAME IS PACK8EAST. There's many reasons you chose not to buy an actual packbeast, it's cheaper, maintaining one is a pain, but most of all, you're having a lot of fun this way. You're sure you'll be able to find the PRECIOUS 8OOTY using the map obtained via PERFECTLY LEGAL MEANS. Eventually. You're a patient woman after all.
>Mindfang: Be Packbeast.

==> Eridan: Answer.

You realise she has a point, that you did send her a message.

But you had good reason, you searched her out beca-- no you mean she searched you ou-- what are you even thinking-- she is messin' up all of your thoughts, here!

CA: wwell i mean you did havve me on your list
CA: ivve nevver seen you online before so i figured itd be best if i
CA: you knoww
CA: made sure you wwerent a friend a mine tryin to troll me or somefin
CA: i guess

No, Ampora, keep it cool. Be confident. Don't blowfish it up now. You're a prince! Don't scare the minnow, she may be your last chance at a sane conversation, despite the fact that she just called herself "sexii".

==> Roxy: Reassure him you are not a troll.

Edited 2012-06-26 02:09 (UTC)

Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and this is not you. This is a dream you are having. Half of your dreams consist of stuff you could be doing or having, like hot troll friends at a day club you own. The other half are datadreams. You like these ones way better. They make it almost worthwhile to have been goaded into joining this shithole. You are predictable as all shit.

You have been ashamed of yourself for sweeps.

When you can feel anything, that is. You have so much hardware shoved into your body anymore it's hard to tell between logarithm && emotion. The only emotions you're sure about are (1) that you hate the asshole who put you here, and (2) you regret your whole life, from hatch to present.

> Sollux: Investigate your helmpod.

You are Jade Harley and you are without a doubt the finest scientific mind of your generation. There was a time when you would have called yourself second-finest in order to challenge yourself, but you've long since realized that the challenge of growth comes from within.

Growth is what you're aiming for at this very specific moment, as you push the plunger of the syringe.

This subject is able to return from the dead, repeatedly. You have eliminated the usual causes of misdiagnosed death by dint of complete observation: galvanic sensors, pneumatic markers, chemical trackers marking circulation both in the body and in the brain, and you have killed the subject by methods meant to eliminate, one by one, every variable which might produce a false positive.

Only recently have you begun to truly believe that you will not receive one. Your subject can truly die and truly revive--autonomously. He is a marvel. He has already done so much for you, and will do a great deal more. The applications of this research will make nonsense of mortality itself, and chances are decent your subject will survive the tests to see it. Well, almost decent. You're still researching the parameters of his unique ability, of course.

You watch him. You've given him a coagulant, this time.

>Jade: loosen that surgical cap and mask getup

"Ahh, sorry!" Feferi says quickly, waving her hands around as if that would dismiss her actions. "You just had a bit of salt on your glasses, is all!" She lets out a nervous giggle and gives Jade an equally nervous, shifty look.

"Oh, that's okay," Jade decides, making a big deal of folding her hands in her lap. If Feferi wasn't mistaken, could she have heard...a hint of disappoint in her human friend's tone? Oh, this isn't good...

"You weren't expecting something else, were you?" Feferi asks carefully.

"Uh, no! It's not that, haha." Now it's Jade's turn to emit a nervous chuckle.

Okay, this isn't good at all! You've got to do something before Jade bails on you...

==> Feferi: Do something before Jade bails on you

It was snowing quite heavily earlier this morning, but it seems to have stopped since you were last outside. The air is crisply cold, perhaps exacerbated by your outfit, which was not the smartest choice for the weather you knew was coming.

The ever-vigilant janitors have already shoveled the path, making way for those students that wish to leave the grounds for lunch. That includes you and Kanaya, if only she would show up. She's nearly three minutes late already, which is uncharacteristic behavior for her.

You would be worried, but it appears she is pestering you. At least she understands the importance of keeping friends informed, unlike some people you know. (Ahem - Strider.)

You withdraw your phone from your bag and check Pesterchum.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:03 --

GA: Apologies Rose Dear
GA: I Am Late
TT: I had noticed.
TT: Where are you?
GA: Well
GA: Rationally I Know I Should Not Be Saying Anything But
GA: I Cant Help Myself
GA: This Is So Exciting
GA: I Have A Surprise For You
TT: Intriguing.
TT: Are you going to elaborate or keep me in agonizing suspense?
GA: The Latter I Think
GA: Dont Worry It Wont Take Long
TT: I suppose I'll allow it this once.
GA: Its Good To Know I Will Escape With My Life This Time Around
GA: Listen Rose Ive Got To Go Finish Up Your Surprise
GA: Ill See You Soon
TT: Before lunch period's over?
TT: We only have thirty minutes.
GA: And Thats All I Need
GA: <3
TT: <3

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:07 --

==> Rose: Be Kanaya.

Immediately after waking up from your dream, you felt the need to share it with your roommate KARKAT VANTAS. This was pretty easy, since you two happen to share a bed. Totally platonically!

oh my god karkat!
i just met the most amazing girl!

JOHN.
YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

i had a dream about her!
she was so cool.
she could fly and she was wearing these cool orange pajamas and dude.
she was awesome.

AREN'T YOU STILL DATING THAT CAT CHICK?

she's not a cat chick!
i mean, not literally.
she does have a thing for felines i guess.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO INSIST DATING A SIX SWEEP OLD CAT GIRL THEN DON'T FUCKING OBSESS OVER RANDOM ORANGE CHICKS YOUR DREAM ABOUT.
GOD, THE NEW HEIGHTS OF IDIOCY YOU MANAGE TO REACH CONSTANTLY AMAZE ME.

hehehe. i know you love me karkat!
anyway.
i have to meet her.
want to help me go find her?

FUCK NO.
GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT.

You go to band practice, where you continue to obsess over this dream girl.

>Rose: Psychoanalyze John's new obsession.

((there are no words for how much I love your for this.))

Edited 2012-06-26 02:55 (UTC)

>Brobot: look for your pants

Judging by the seasons, climate and how long you have been without power, your cotton pants were probably starting to rot... that is if they weren't already re-purposed into young musclebeast gloves along with your other pants you were forced to part with because of the damp, moldy smell. However, your polyester underwear should be intact, and likely nearby.

You do not know how they ceased to be where they were left. You search your hard drive for similar situations, but all you could pull up was some things about Charlie Brown. You do not know why these files are here; then again, there are a lot of mysterious things about your creator, even to high-powered futuristic processing units. Somehow you feel a compelling connection to this orange-shirted child with an oddly circular head. The irrelevance of all of this leads you to drop this track and continue. You whirrrrl your head around to view the space-witch-bitch.

She is, conveniently, currently inspecting your underwear in a canine manner. You decide you should retrieve them before she does something more distinctly canine, such as bury them, chew them to pieces, or demand to play tug-of-war with them.

Fortunately, your UNDERWARE files are also intact. These files were programmed into you for the unlikely instance when you meet a different human and need the bare basics of human etiquette, for example, not tearing said new human limb-from-tender-bloody-meaty-limb.

==>Brobot: Stare creepily at the Space B/Witch until she gives you the underpants

This is it, the moment of truth. The time is now. The time to suck it up, let him know how you feel, and live happily ever after. You are a lovely young princess and he is your prince on a white horse. Together you will gallop away into the sunset, sparkles in your eyes and a shine in your hair. It will be just like one of your japanese animes.

You wonder if you can just sort of reach over and.... and........

You can't do it! At the last second, your courage leaves you. The perfect moment has passed. The object of your dearest and deepest affections is now engaged in an altercation over whether Snow White and the Huntsman was better than Men in Black 3. You have failed and your life is over. There will be no majestic white horse, no Masaya Aoyama to your Ichigo Momomiya, no Kyo Sohma to your Tohru Honda, no Tuxedo Mask to your Sailor Moon, no-

Wait, wait, wait! You have to pull yourself together. Breathe, Leijon. Just because one perfect moment has passed it doesnt mean there wont be another! It's just the crowded bus getting to you, that must be it. You will have to find a way to get Karkat alone and far away from everybody else! After all, making a big confession in the middle of a crowd is a stupid idea and will only end in heartbreak. You've read plenty enough romance mangas to know that.

==> Nepeta: Devise a clever scheme to separate Karkat from the rest of the herd.

You stare suspiciously into the forest. There are some lovely shrubs and trees here and there, but no sign of animal life. While you're pretty sure this place doesn't have any lions, tigers, or bears (oh my!!) you can never be too careful.

For one thing, your grandpa would never let you hear the end of it if you got attacked. You love him to pieces, but he's always nagging you about being prepared! YES you remembered to bring your gun! No you don’t need a bigger one!! No no no NO this gun is just fine what are you even talking about!!! You can’t even lift his gun, why would you even think about bringing it!!!!!

But wait, what’s that?! While you were busy remembering grandpa’s STERN LECTURES, you nearly missed the rustle in the trees. Something there definitely just moved!

==> Jade: Whip out your trusty rifle!

You are now Feferi, who has been having a ton of fun at the beach pretending to be a shark attacking your friends from beneath the waters!

At least, you were, until a few too many people took the cries of "the shark has my ankle!!" seriously and you were given a very stern talking to by a lifeguard. You think the guy was blowing things way out of proportion, you were just having some fun! Though now that you're taking a break, it's the P-ERC)(F-ECT OPPORTUNATY to check on your dumb human boyfriend.

He is really dumb but that is what you pitylove about him.

FEFERI: )(i Dave )(i!! Are you still alive?
DAVE: barely hanging in there
DAVE: the toaster nearly ate my hand earlier and i almost fell into an endless pit of hellfire that spontaneously opened up and consumed most of the hallway
DAVE: because you know i can barely survive sitting in a house on my own
DAVE: seriously i should be asking you that question youre the one flirting with the shallow edges of an endless pit of hellwater
DAVE: oh wait i forgot you wrestle killer whales for fun
FEFERI: T)(at was ON-E TIM-E you jerk!
DAVE: it only takes one time to get a lifelong ban from seaworld
FEFERI: Okay but s)(ut up!! I am just checking on you.
FEFERI: I'm R-E-ELY SORRY you couldn't come wit)( us, Dave!
FEFERI: I don't want you to get lonely! I know )(ow you are, you glub up a storm about )(ow you don't need anybody and t)(en w)(en you're left alone you try and fis)( for any kind of company you can get!
DAVE: this conversation is heading somewhere really fucking dumb so yeah thanks bye have fun
FEFERI: WAIT WAIT WAIT! Okay, I will let you be ALL ALON-E in peace, silly boy.
FEFERI: Now t)(at I t)(ink about it, t)(oug)(, you're not actually alone, are you!
DAVE: what
FEFERI: I'm talking about little Mr. Magikarp, du)(!!! You guys are getting along, rig)(t?

> Dave: Approach the subject of your girlfriend's fish calmly and rationally

Edited 2012-06-26 03:12 (UTC)

Your name is SQUAREWAVE and you are a wicked dope robot. You mean rap-bot. Because you were built to rap by a quite literal prince of comeuppance, and rap-offs are what you do best. There are only two people in the entire universe who you haven't beaten yet, and they are your creator, DIRK STRIDER, and his other rap-bot who is your one true idol.

But that's okay. You're pretty sure that you'll never beat either of them. Their flow is just that insane. But that also means that you have the best competition to work against and practice your own sweet lines.

The only problem is that your partner in rhyme left months ago, presumably traveling around the world and completely obliterating any unsuspecting rapper who is stupid enough to challenge him. That leaves only Dirk to test your mettle, and he's a pretty busy guy for a guy who lives alone on a steel island in the middle of the ocean. Well, alone except for you and Lil Cal and Geromy and an amazing collection of smuppets. Okay, maybe not alone after all.

Fortunately, you are a robot in the know, and robots like you who are completely in the know know just what the internet is. And Dirk finally broke down one day and installed a wifi jack in you so you could find new challengers out in the vast web of the multiverse, and possibly also so you wouldn't ambush him as much, but you don't like to think about that second part too much. It's probably not true.

In fact, just now, one of your newer rivals - you mean best bros - just signed onto Pesterchum. You sneak a quick look at Dirk to see if he's actually gearing up for a sweet rap-off of his own, but he's just watching videos of colorful ponies on his computer. Well, damn. Time to try out Plan B.

-- variableVermiculation [VV] began pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 16:13 --
VV: YO YO T-NIZZLE, I'VE GOT SOME THICK BEATS READY TO DROP
VV: I'M RIDING DIRTY WITH A SET OF RHYMES JUST WAITIN TO POP
VV: READY AN STEADY, AIN'T NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME STOP
VV: BUT I'M GIVIN YOU A CHANCE TO COME OUT ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN
VV: WORDS FLOWIN LIKE A FOUNTAIN
VV: IF YOU'RE READY TO BEGIN, YADIDIMEAN
VV: SO WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT THIS SHIT THAT'S SO WHACK
VV: GONNA JUMP RIGHT IN, LAY DOWN THE SMACK
VV: LIKE YOU'RE FIGHTIN CRAZY WITH A BLACKJACK!!!
VV: OR AM I GONNA SCHOOL YOU AGAIN LIKE CLASS IS OUTTA SESSION
VV: LAY DOWN THE LAW LIKE THE FIVE-O'S OPPRESSION
VV: OR YOU GONNA BE GHOST IN THE FACE OF MY AGGRESSION
VV: MY RHYMES CUTTIN LINES RIGHT THROUGH YOU INTO DEPRESSION
VV: I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU STRAIGHT MY MAIN T-BRO
VV: YOUR BEATS AIN'T GOT NOTHIN ON MY SICK SHOW
VV: BUT I'LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE... YOLO!!!

>Be the troll.

Your name is DIRK STRIDER and you have a HOT DATE tonight. Well, more like a bro-outing. But a guy can dream can't he? Your best bro JAKE ENGLISH needs you to join him for the newest BLOCKBUSTER HIT that just came out. It looks stupid, but you'll go anyways. It's hard to say no to that face. You are taking one of your famous INFINITE SHOWERS to get your thoughts in order. The movie doesn't start for a few more hours so you have plenty of tim- WOAH LOOK AT THE TIME. Looks like you spaced out for longer than you thought.

==> Dirk: Get the fuck out of the shower.

You are TAVROS NITRAM and you almost fall backward out of your chair. You have just been BRUTALLY BEAT-SNIPED at your own computer, and that is the kind of sniping that you simply cannot allow to go without return fire.

You take a moment to gather your thoughts. These fires must be surgical in their precision. Tinkerbull hovers supportively nearby, ready to back your play, even if this isn't play at all but is instead the mightiest of mighty battles. Then, you WHIP IT OUT.

AT: yOUR BEATS ARE TOO THICK
AT: tO FLOW, tHEY ARE ACTUALLY SOLID, LIKE A BRICK,
AT: wHICH DROPS REALLY FAST, yOU WERE, RIGHT ABOUT THAT
AT: i THOUGHT mAYBE IT WAS, A, tRICK
AT: lIKE YOU WERE HIDING THE GOOD ONES BEHIND YOU IN A VAT
AT: bUT THEY FELL DOWN flat
AT: aND, tHAT WAS THAT, tHEY WERE VERY SAD BEATS
AT: wALKING AROUND ALL MOPEY THAT, nO ONE WILL GIVE THEM TREATS
AT: bECAUSE i HAVE THEM ALL
AT: mY ROOM IS FULL AND DOWN THE HALL
AT: tHERE IS NOTHING BUT sWEETS
AT: tHAT EVERYONE GAVE ME BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD MY BEATS
AT: aRE
AT: yOLO
AT: yOLO IS A tHING YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE dONE rIGHT
AT: i THINK i'M DONE HERE
AT: i THINK i HAVE DROPPED THE MICROPHONE
AT: AND OTHER PEOPLE WILL, HAVE TO PICK UP, WHAT i HAVE PUT DOWN
AT: yOLO
AT: fOR REAL THIS TIME,

That bit about mopey beats, that was pure gold. If that rhyme had been a Fiduspawn card, it would have been a first-edition Flangehorker. Solid.

> Pick up what has been put down

TG: sup
TG: yo
TG: now what?

TG: im pretty sure you two make out or some shit since this a shipping adventure
TG: what? no fuck that shit im not a homosexual
TG: i dont know i am pretty fucking hot
TG: dude dont make this weird
TG: yeah but dont all the gay guys get to hang out with chicks
TG: yeah chicks like our freaky ass sister and her gay ass wizard porn
TG: good point
TG: okay now what?
TG: ...
TG: ...
TG: ...
TG: shit lets be homosexuals theres fuck all else to do

>Daves: Be gay

Edited 2012-06-26 04:36 (UTC)

With your trusty sword in hand, because seriously, what the fuck kind of badass would you be without some sort of masterful decapitation device or fifty up your sylladex, you descend from the heavens like unto the god that you are.

It's pretty fucking epic. There's black hellfire and rainbow lasers and even a ten minute long backing track that's almost sweet enough to hit play again when it's done. Almost.

Funky Death Planet Trimesculon IV isn't much to look at.

No, really, it isn't. It's just piles of sand and dust and shit as far as you can see, with no trees and no mountains and just weird ridges formed by the shifting dunes. You'd think that it'd be easy to find yourself in a place that doesn't give you anywhere to hide, but you're wrong.

Well, you're half wrong.

There's another Dave down there, but it's not the Dave you're looking for. This one's kind of a chump, but that's okay. He's still you. Or maybe you're still him. Either way, with an expressionless nod and a stoic, "Sup," the two of you don't need to say anything more about what's up and what's not. He jumps on your ride next to you. And then you're off, a two man tagteam of pimprighteous godhood in search of your mutually estranged brethren.

>Dave: Look toward the horizon.

Your name is VRISKA SERKET and you are the most BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, AND RUTHLESS CAT BURGLAR ON EARTH. With your TRUSTY and sometimes REALLY ANNOYING BOYFRIENDS at your side, THE WORLD IS YOURS. It just so happens that tonight, of all nights, you are finally going to get your hands on what you have been led to believe is THE MOST IMPORTANT OBJECT ON YOUR NEW HOME PLANET.

Vriska: Recall Objective

Edited 2012-06-26 05:10 (UTC)

You hear a shout of "Hey, get down from there!" and your head snaps sideways in its direction.

A bevy of gentlemen with "SECURITY" emblazoned across their chests is striding toward you. They don't seem too terribly pleased with you for some reason! You can't say that you can imagine why. Maybe you were a little too loud. Dirk is always having to tell you to keep your voice down. Not that you ever pay a whole whack of attention to the concept of an "indoor voice". True gentleman explorers never stay indoors for long, and what's the use in saying a blasted thing if you can't shout it to high heaven?

They're gesturing to you to get off of the replica. You oblige, but are still puzzled. They can hardly put something like that up there and expect a person NOT to want to climb up and gaze over a majestic sea that's entirely an invention of your own imagination! Still, you awkwardly hop off, and no harm done, it seems, although many patrons are still staring. Some are laughing, strangely enough.

You begin to feel the slightest bit embarrassed, and find yourself fervently wishing that someone else besides the aforementioned bevy of disgruntled gentlemen could be said to have been striding toward you.

Like, for instance, a certain Mr. Strider.

> A certain Mr. Strider: Stride.

Edited 2012-06-26 05:15 (UTC)

Your name is ROXY LALONDE and you are going to lift the hell out of Karkat's spirits.

And of course, you mean spirits in the literal, alcoholic sense.

As it happens, you always keep an EXTRA SPECIAL CLASSY MARTINI on hand, for occasions such as these.

[Show Dialogue]
ROXY: ddue carcat man
ROXY: you rly need to loosen up
ROXY: *dude *karkat
ROXY: no nvm carcats better
KARKAT: LOOK, I SHOWED UP AT THIS STUPID PARTY.
KARKAT: IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE?
KARKAY: I DON'T WANT TO IMBIBE ANY OF YOUR FUCKING ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND SUBSEQUENTLY MAKE AN EVER BIGGER IDIOT OF MYSELF THAN I USUALLY DO.
ROXY: aw cmon dont be liek that

Roxy: Convince Karkat to loosen up.

You most definitely do not get out of the shower, you have a reputation to uphold and someday you will damn well succeed in draining the ocean all by yourself. It's a matter of principle. You stay RIGHT THERE. You give the ol' ass and pits another scrub, because you never know.

What are you going to miss, anyway? The twenty minutes of commercials before the previews? The previews for more Jake movies? A chance to get your snog on before he's ensnared by the artfully-crafted work of cinema?

>DIRK: Seriously, get the fuck out.

From the kitchen, you hear voices in the living room. Oh no, you haven't even finished decorating the cake yet. How are you supposed to make a good impression if your cake doesn't even have a beautiful icing rose? (You laugh to yourself. You are hilarious.)

"Da-ad~! Rose and her mom are here!"

"I'll be with you in a jiff!" You chuckle; "jiff" is a pretty silly word. Aaaand perfect. Look at that. You are basically an artist with icing.

You walk outside to the living room, fully prepared to give the Lalondes your apologies for not greeting them at the door. At any rate, it sounds as though John has been a good substitute. (You are so proud.)

"Hello, I'm..." At a loss for words.

==>

You have contributed hours of careful research into the vast IMPORTANCE and VALUE of this OBJECT. Hours spent watching and rewatching some of earth's most culturally sensitive movies, and tonight you believe you are finally prepared.

John has assured you that what you are about to do is indeed a BIG FREAKING DEAL.

Tonight, you are going to do the impossible.

You are going to STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

And you are going to do it with way more STYLE and PANACHE than Nic Cage ever managed.

John seems duly excited for you and the feat you are about to accomplish. Karkat, on the other hand, is being an annoying grump as usual. It's not your fault he doesn't understand human culture as well as you do. If he did, he would totally be into how awesome and badass you are for doing this. Ugh, what a killjoy.

Karkat: Be the killjoy.

You take a deep breath - the salty air sings through your gills - hesitate, and before you can way overthink this and ruin it all, you put a hand under Jade's chin and give it a tug so that she's facing you all over again.

This time she's DEFINITELY surprised. Her lips part a little and reveal her big old (really cute) hopbeast teeth. She has long dark eyelashes that criss-cross each other and ring her eyes like the prettiest anemones you've ever seen. You save this compliment somewhere in the back of your think pan for the next time you guys are getting all mushy and roman-- you mean, friendly! Ha ha. Friendly.

For now, you forgo compliments, shut your eyes, and give Jade a friendly kiss.

Right on the mouth.

> Jade: React to the friendly kiss.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and today is definitely not your birthday but it is FRIDAY, which you think is just like a mini-birthday without the presents or the getting older or numerous joys (lol jk) of cake. And, of course, you aren’t really celebrating or anything like you would do on your birthday and also none of your ~~SO-CALLED~~ FRIENDS have talked to you at all today, which they totally would have if it were actually April 13th. (You hope.)

Okay, so it isn’t really like a birthday at all but that doesn’t matter! Fridays are awesome, the end.

Friday happens to be the day you and your THREE ~~FORMER~~ BEST BUDS have MOVIE NIGHT. It’s a TRADITION.

But as was stated before, nobody has bothered to reply to your pesters or texts all day, so you guess movie night is a bust and the tradition is just being kicked to the curb.

It’s a shame because it was your turn to pick a movie and you had just the COOL ACTION FLICK in mind for the occasion. In fact, you’ve been telling everyone for days how excited you were about watching one of the greatest actors ever STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. (That is totally not the reason movie night isn’t happening by the way. You refuse to believe that anyone would pass up an opportunity to look upon the glorious face of Nic Cage, even if you have picked this movie no less than seven times before.)

At any rate, you aren’t about to let a bunch of BIG, DUMB, TRADITION-DESTROYING, CAGE-HATING BABIES ruin your night, so you say to hell with them and decide to rent National Treasure anyway. So what if you’ll spend your Friday alone in your tiny crappy apartment, watching movies by yourself? You don’t care!

> John: ~~Ignore the sharp pang of rejection and ache of loneliness~~ Enter the video store.

Call you a pessimist, but this grey horned guy doesn't look too pleased to see you.

>Karkat: Equip strife specibus

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Page 18 of 42

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

New Mindfang<3Dolorosa Game (FILL: Team Roxy<3Autoresponder)

==> Eridan: Answer. (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

New Eridan<3<Sollux Game (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3KARKAT)

Jade: Where are you? (FILL: Alchemiter FRUITY RUMPUS)

Feferi: Ruin the moment (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3KARKAT)

===> Rose: Light a clove cigarette and wait. (FILL: TEAM AUTO-RESPONDER<3ROXY)

John: Obsess about dream girl (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

Brobot: look for your pants (FILL: TEAM Equius <3 Tavros)

Nepeta: Put plan into motion (FILL: TEAM NEPETA<3TEREZI)

==> Jade: Investigate surrounding area (FILL: TEAM AUTORESPONDER<3ROXY)

> Feferi: Call and check on Dave. (FILL: Team Jade<3Rose)

New SQUAREWAVE<>TAVROS Game (FILL: TEAM GAMZEE<3<TEREZI)

New Dirk<3Jake game (FILL: TEAM BRO<3DAD)

>Be the troll. (FILL: Alchemiter FRUITY RUMPUS)

> Dave: Save Dave! (Fill: Team Roxy<3Autoresponder)

DAVE: Descend from the heavens like unto a god (FILL: TEAM GAMZEE<3<TEREZI)

New John<3Karkat<3Vriska Game (FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY)

> Jake: Accept consequences. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3ROSE)

=> Roxy: Lift Karkat's spirits. (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

Dirk: Get the fuck out of the shower. (FILL: Alchemiter FRUITY RUMPUS)

Dad: Respond to doorbell. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3ROSE)

Vriska: Recall Objective (FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3VRISKA)

> Feferi: Do something before Jade bails on you. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3ROSE)

New John<3Jake Game (FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE)

>John: Wave hi. (FILL: TEAM DAVE<3ROSE)