hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 2

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

The Return of Round Robin Fanadventures

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

Hi shippers! Welcome to Bonus Round 2.
Round Robin Fanadventures generated so much awesome stuff last year that we decided to bring it back!

For those who are new to HSO, this is not actually that complicated a concept, but it might be a little tricky to explain, so bear with me. The point of this round is to create a bunch of fanadventures that are for a team other than your own.

Rules

If you are starting a new adventure: start a new thread using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art setting a scene (or both!), and finish with a command (==> does not count as a command for new threads). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
If you are continuing an adventure: find a thread that does not center around your team's ship. Then comment using the title format defined below. Include either text or 1-2 pieces of embedded art continuing the scene (or both!), and finish with a command (this can include ==>, though generally we would prefer otherwise). Then sit back and wait for someone else to contribute!
For ease of reading, we suggest using standardized image sizes. 600x400 landscape is a pretty good size! But as long as it's the same as the other images in the thread, people will have an easier time following along. The HTML for inserting images is <img src="http://yourimageurlhere.com">
For this challenge, there is no minimum wordcount. We are trusting you not to abuse that fact!
You may not comment twice in a row in one adventure. The point is to hand off the scene like a hot potato.
You may not introduce or create for your team's ship into a fanadventure. If someone else introduces your team's ship to a thread, you can still contribute to that thread so long as your contributions do not involve your ship.
This challenge will run until 11:59PM EDT July 7. After that time, even if it's just by a minute according to the LJ timestamp, no submissions will be accepted for points.

NOTES:

Audio posts are fine, so long as you include a transcript.
Please make sure to check that your titles are correct!
You may answer commands that have already been answered. Think of it like a 'choose your own adventure' game!

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [THEIR SHIP] with the ship you want this particular fanadventure thread to be. Remember that you cannot create a fanadventure based on your own ship. Whatever ship you choose must be represented by a HSO team not your own. The only exception is gen adventures, which are permitted.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with. If your team name is not in this format and in the title it may not be counted.

If you are continuing a thread, use this format in your title.

Replace [COMMAND] with whatever command the previous fill has specified.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your title is not in this format it may not be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
(as stated here)
First 5 entries per team: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+: 5 (per entry)

All fanadventure content must be created new for this round.

We would prefer that any questions about this challenge or anything else in the HSO be emailed to us at homestuck.shipping AT gmail!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

===> Listener: call in.

LISTENER: :33 < to be purrfectly honest the purrlot of this movie sounds like another movie karkat vantas reviewed on jeg612 some hours ago. crimalgs and tharfask are definitly waxing black for one another, but i don't think they could make a kismesistude last. they nefur do, where celeb-purrties are involved!

===> Move on.

ERIDAN: ok wwell maybe it is
ERIDAN: but that dont mean my footage aint original
ERIDAN: anywway i agree celebrity kismesissitude is all punch and no loathe if you knoww wwhat i mean
ERIDAN: thanks for callin in

> Next.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are a RADIO CELEBRITY.

You and your coworker NEPETA LEIJON are currently preparing for a regular CALL-IN TIMESLOT called "QUADRANT TANGLE RANGLE HOUR", in which the both of you sort out caller's disastrous quadrant issues. However, Nepeta tuned into a RIVAL RADIO STATION, which AS USUAL is spouting total drivel regarding Crimalgs Flafjan and Tharfask Gharjeth.

This guy does truly lamentable shipping work. He is SHIPPING WRONG, ALL THE TIME, and both Nepeta and you know it. You also know that she is giving you a LOOK because she wants you CRANK-CALL this DOUCHEBAG as well. You two troll Mssr. Ampora approximately once a day. >Karkat: Concede to the catgirl.

It's hard not to concede to Nepeta. She is very purrsuasive, and fuck, that was definitely a cat pun. You mentally penalize yourself 10 points of dignity for it.

Ampora must not be getting many other callers today, because he picks you up on your second try.

KARKAT: HI.
ERIDAN: yeah hi wwhats up
KARKAT: LOOK I KNOW YOU FIND STALKING ACTORMINATORS ENDLESSLY INTERESTING, WHICH IS KIND OF LAME, BUT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY EVER DISCUSS THEIR SUCCESSES.
ERIDAN: oh for fucks sake
ERIDAN: STOP CALLIN
KARKAT: LET'S IMAGINE, FOR A MOMENT, THAT I--NO, THAT ANYONE CARES ABOUT CRIMALGS FLAFJAN AND THARFASK GHARJETH. FOR THE RECORD, NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT THEM. BUT IF THEY DID, YOU WOULD BE WRONG. IT'S HARD TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW DEEP THEIR LOATHING RUNS SINCE YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY THEM.
ERIDAN: see the problem wwith you is you dont knoww howw showwbiz wworks
ERIDAN: mystery caller
ERIDAN: i just made air quotes
ERIDAN: like i dont fuckin knoww wwho this is
KARKAT: THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM. I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT SHOWBIZ, MR. AMPORA. THE PROBLEM IS YOUR LACK OF RESPECT FOR CELEBRITIES' PERSONAL LIVES. AND FOR ALL THE RADIO TIME YOU WASTE TELLING YOUR LISTENERS THAT MAGGIE MAROONBLOOD AND JANICE JAUNDICE AREN'T PROPERLY PALE FOR EACH OTHER.
KARKAT: TO PUT IT SIMPLY, YOU SUCK AT SHIPPING.
ERIDAN: wwhat wwould you suggest instead
ERIDAN: mister karkat shippin master vantas

> Nepeta: Offer Karkat a towel.

You look over at Karkat and offer him a towel. He looks like he needs a towel.

Karkat: NO! I DON'T WANT THAT!

He whispers to you before turning back to his microphone.

Karkat: FINE. I'LL TELL YOU THE MOST PRACTICAL ADVICE.
Karkat: EVERY TROLL HAS THE CHANCE FOR SERENDIPITY EVEN CELEBRITIES.
Karkat: YOU SAYING THAT THEY CAN'T IS BASICALLY SPITTING UPON THE WHOLE QUADRANT SYSTEM.
Karkat: HELL, UPON ROMANCE AS A WHOLE.
Karkat: EVEN ~~~***YOU***~~~ COULD FIND SERENDIPITY.
Karkat: IF YOU CAN TO DO IT EVERYONE CAN.
Karkat: AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE...

Boy, he sure has made Karkitty mad. You bet he's about to explode in a fiery rage of romantic explanation.

> Karkat: Let him have it.

You can't let him have it because the asshole just hung up on you.

This is an embarrassing routine. Fortunately, this is radio, after all, and you didn't become legitimately well-liked and respected by being professional and levelheaded all the time. You can adroitly stir drama the drama-stirring time is nigh. Plus the listeners probably already think that you are waxing black for that douche. Which is false! But if you've learned anything in your years of showbiz, it's that everyone but you (and Nepeta) are bad at shipping, and Ampora is the worst. If there was some kind of shipping olympics, which is a ludicrous idea, Ampora would come shambling in dead last.

However, it's not as if you haven't tried to help the poor bastard. You already send one (1) large package of lightly-used fictional shipping instructional videos, otherwise known as romcoms. Looks like you may have to send another. The shipping learning curve is, apparently, steep.

>Karkat: Choose some instructional videos to send to that jerkwad.

Nepeta accepts a calls about a pale relationship that has recently been sliding into something more ashen while you pull a few films out of a crate under your desk. You think he could benefit a lot if he paid attention to "In Which An Exceptional Member Of The APD Is Relocated From His Station In A Central Cityhive To A Rural Lawn Ring System And Is Forced Into A Semblance Of Moirallegiance With A Brown Blooded Low Ranked Officer. Including Two Scenes Involving A Honkbeast, Infidelity With A Plant, A Cult, Real Adults, And Innumerable Explosions." Yeah, you really enjoyed that one. You don't think there's a better movie out there for understanding how a moirallegiance can come to be formed.

You also grab "A Team Of Highly Professional Criminals And One Blueblood Student Infiltrate The Mind Of A Seablood Using Illegal Technology. Inside They Face The Tragedies Of A Lost Matespritship, The Fall Of An Auspisticeship Forced On Two Tealbloods By The Dead Matesprit Of One, An Old Kismesissitude Rekindled, And A Moirallegiance. The Seadweller Experiences An Incredible Journey To Meet His Ancestor While The Seablood Who Commissioned The Operation Is Shot Fatally. An Indigoblood Chemistrifter Who Hid His Blood Status And Intentions Makes Off With The Entire Haul From The Crime And The Corpse Of The Patron Seadweller, But Everyone Is Too Involved In Their Romance To Notice." It's not the best, but it's worth a watch just for the kismesissitude. The blueblood student is also pretty sweet. She's your favorite character.

You turn your attention back to Nepeta, who is describing in detail what your caller should do to gear their relationship back into palemance. As if you don't already have enough trouble broadcasting from a rebel ship, in the middle of resisting the Alternian Empire--You don't need the Imperial fleet chasing you down to give you an obscenity citation.

> Karkat: Take this show back into your own hands.

You gesture impatiently at Nepeta to hand you the microphone, and then proceed to dish out some helpful and exceedingly civil palemantic advice.

Karkat: OK LISTEN UP. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND THIS IS MOSTLY YOUR FAULT. MOIRALLEGIANCE ISN'T ALL SHOOSH AND PAP, ALRIGHT, YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOUR PALEMATE. TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR LIFE. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN FORCING YOURS TO RUN AROUND DOING DAMAGE CONTROL AND ONLY ALLOWING HER TO HELP YOU BY FUSSING WITH YOU.
Karkat: STRAIGHTFORWARD: STOP BEING AN EMOTIONALLY EVASIVE NOOKSTAIN.
Karkat: I MEAN IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF MOIRAILS.
Karkat: IF IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SHARE WITH HER ANYMORE YOU MIGHT CONSIDER TAKING IT ASHEN OFFICIALLY, UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY GOT AN AUSPISTICE, IN WHICH CASE YOU PROBABLY NEED TO STOP FORCING RELATIONSHIPS.
Karkat: SERENDIPITY HAPPENS. YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT TROLL. THE LESS THAN TO YOUR GREATER THAN. THE EYE OF YOUR PILE.
Karkat: THANKS FOR CALLING. GOOD LUCK.

> Karkat: Hang up on speechless caller.

Edited 2012-06-25 02:59 (UTC)

W--ELL GLUB! 3:\

Your name is FEFERI PEIXES and you are momentarily speechless after being hung up on by a DOUCHEBAG RADIO DJ with ZERO LISTENING SKILLS.

This is something you should be QUITE ACCUSTOMED to already, since that phrase also describes your CURRENT MOIRAIL perfectly. These chumps never cease to amaze.

However, you are a PRINCESS as well as an ACTUAL CELEBRITY. You are such a celebrity that you have never actually been HUNG-UP ON before this event. You are also the source of 99% of Eridan's CELEBRITY NEWS SCOOPS and are almost entirely responsible for his debatable SUCCESS as a RADIO HOST. The whole affair is RATHER TAXING, actually, and you had called in to KARKAT AND NEPETA'S QUADRANT TANGLE WRANGLE HOUR because your quadrants are a GLUBBING SHIPWRECK and you are contemplating BREAKING UP WITH YOUR MOIRAIL.

>Feferi: call Eridan.

You clench your phone in your hand. You can not B-ELI-EV-E they hung up on you. Really.

You take your phone and dial in Eridans number. You wait for him to answer.

How dare that guy tell you that this is your fault! Like you even need his kelp anyway...

You complain and grumble until Eridan answers.

> Eridan: Greet the new caller.

You are feeling SLIGHTLY OVERDRAMATIC which is, let's be honest, NOT AN ENTIRELY UNFAMILIAR STATE OF BEING FOR YOU. Vantas has put you in quite THE MOOD, so when you answer the caller, you don't even give them TIME TO TALK, a stratagem that surprises your long time listeners NOT ONE BIT.

ERIDAN: look caller i dont knoww wwho you are but i dont got a lot of time for other peoples glubbin bullshit right now.
ERIDAN: i mean did you just listen to that shit from vvantas
ERIDAN: i dont knoww wwhat hes playin wwith me but it sure as shell aint wwithout a little tinge a some color.
ERIDAN: if you knoww wwhat i mean.
ERIDAN: goin on and on about seredipity.
ERIDAN: so i hope this is important caller cause otherwwise im goin to try an patch together the shipwwreck this showw has become.

>Feferi: Respond in an appropriate manner.

You sigh heavily into your phone, subjecting every listener to a wave of static. This is ------EXACTLY what the problem is! You allow for a brief moment of silence while you collect yourself, ignoring when Eridan (predictably) fills it.

ERIDAN: wwell
ERIDAN: im listenin
FEFERI: -Eridan.
ERIDAN: yes i knoww wwho i am
FEFERI: We need to talk.
ERIDAN: wwhat
ERIDAN: wwait
ERIDAN: is this
FEFERI: Y--ES, it IS 38(
ERIDAN: wwhat do wwe need to talk about?
ERIDAN: should i set up some mood music?
FEFERI: No.
FEFERI: ---ERIDAN. Turn off the smooth jazz. NOW!
ERIDAN: but
FEFERI: T)(is is S-EARIOUS, -Eridan.
ERIDAN: does
ERIDAN: does this havve to be on air?
FEFERI: Whale.
FEFERI: Since you never listen to me, I'm kind of t)(inking t)(at I should make ------EV-ERYON-E listen to me!
FEFERI: )(ow does t)(at sound?
ERIDAN: uh
ERIDAN: wwhale
FEFERI: Oh, you're speec)(less NOW are you?
FEFERI: It's about time! I've been waiting for ----------ENTID-ERLY too long for you to stop complaining about your petty little problems so I could tell you about MY )(UG-E BASS OF A MOIRAIL.
ERIDAN: ...
ERIDAN: ladies and gentlemen please stay tuned for wwhatevver the interns feel like playin

>INTERN(S): Have a field day.

You are now the INTERN(S) and you are having a FIELD DAY.

Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub.

Glub.

=> Eridan: Deal with Feferi off-air.

ERIDAN: fef listen to me we can make this work.
ERIDAN: i mean i can understand if you were thinkin we were headed in a different direction, quadrant wise -
FEFERI: --ERIDAN I AM DON--E WIT)( T)(IS.
FEFERI: You have thr--e--e s--econds.

The next three seconds do not go well.

==>Feferi: Break up with your moirail as gently as you can.

You do. All things considered, you think it goes all right.

And now,

YOU'R---E FR-----E-----! 38)

==>Interns: Abscond.

Absconding is not advisable at this time. This is because it has only been three seconds, and Eridan hasn't yet given the word for you to give up on everything you're doing.

You find it difficult to keep up with being all of the interns and proceed to be a particular single intern, who is filling in on Eridan's answering-the-phone-on-air duties while your humble friend plays his idea of music. You have just hung up on someone really unimportant but now you are having the call of a lifetime. (At least, you're pretty sure that the importance of a call is indicated by the volume of a caller.)

KARKAT: HEY AMPORA.
INTERN: Boss can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the glub.
INTERN: Glub.
KARKAT: WHAT NO.
KARKAT: THIS IS IMPORTANT. PUT HIM THROUGH.
INTERN: I'm not sure that's physically possible.
KARKAT: YOU ARE AT A RADIO STATION. THIS IS WHAT YOU *DO*. YOU CAN PROBABLY PUT THE HEAD IDIOT ON THE PHONE IF SOMEONE DEMANDS IT.
KARKAT: WHICH I DO.
INTERN: No actually I think he's too heavy.
KARKAT: WHAT?
INTERN: He's too heavy for me to lift. I can't put him on the phone.
KARKAT: ...
INTERN: Also I think that would break the phone, and it's probably expensive.
KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE A MERCY TO US ALL.
KARKAT: HAND THE PHONE TO SOMEONE WITH BRAIN CELLS, IF YOU CAN FIND ANY SUCH CREATURES IN THAT SHITHOLE OF A STUDIO.

You're pretty sure you have brain cells, but you do what the man says anyway and hand the phone to whoever's nearest, and in the process become that entity.

You are now A DIFFERENT INTERN, and you are now on the air with a stranger!

INTERN: Wow, I don't even know what to say!
KARKAT: SAY IN A LOUD VOICE, "ERIDAN, THE PHONE'S FOR YOU!"
INTERN: ERIDAN THE PHONE'S FOR YOU
INTERN: That was really silly! Do you have any other silly suggestions?
INTERN: I can do voices.
KARKAT: FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
KARKAT: GIVE THE PHONE TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHOEVER GAVE THE PHONE TO YOU.

Similar events reoccur several times. Eventually the room runs out of new interns to get shouted at, and none of them are keen to repeat their experiences, having grown tired of his stunts.

But there is someone else in the room then, so the last intern hands it off to him.

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck do you wwant
KARKAT: OH THANK GOD.
ERIDAN: oh fuckin hell
KARKAT: NO WAIT A SECOND.
ERIDAN: look kar im not goin to play your charade right noww leave me alone
KARKAT: WELL I'M NOT GOING TO. I'M GOING TO CALL YOU EVERY MINUTE FOR THE NEXT SWEEP IF I HAVE TO.
KARKAT: JUST LISTEN TO ME OKAY?
ERIDAN: wwhat do i look like a pair of ears
KARKAT: HEY I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT, OKAY?
ERIDAN: really
ERIDAN: howw important are wwe talking
KARKAT: OH WELL I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS THAT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS KIND OF NEWS.
KARKAT: DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?
ERIDAN: fine
ERIDAN: spit it out

KARKAT: Spit it out.

===> Move on.

Eridan: True, true. Celebrity quadrants are unstable as fuck these days. I have yet to see any perfect black pairs in Hollywood. But they seem like they do have a lot of potential for a hot rivalry, who knows!

The nerve of a caller to talk about Karkat on YOUR show. You pretend you don't care though. You're a half-decent actor yourself at best and that's an understatement even.

==> Eridan: Try to conceal your anger.

((I didn't post in time, but I'll repost! Just because.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

BONUS ROUND 2

Bonus Round 2

Comments have been screened; we will be tallying the points over the next 48 hours or so, after which we will unscreen the comments. Comments have been unscreened! You may continue the fanadventures on this post as long as you like, though we will not be awarding further points.

[>Listeners: Call In] (FILL: TEAM [Dirk<3Jake])

===> Move on. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3KARKAT)

Next. (FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY)

Karkat: Concede to the catgirl. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3KARKAT)

> Nepeta: Offer Karkat a towel.(Karkat<3Karkat)

==>Karkat: Let him have it. (FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY)

Karkat: Choose some instructional videos to send to that jerkwad. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3KARKAT)

Karkat: Take this show back into your own hands. (FILL: TEAM JOHN<3KARKAT)

Karkat: Hang up on speechless caller. (FILL: TEAM DIRK♥JAKE♥JANE♥ROXY)

> Fereri: Call Eridan.(FILL: Team Karkat<3Karkat)

>Eridan: Greet the new caller. (FILL: Team Dave<3Rose<3Terezi)

FEFERI: Respond in an appropriate manner. (FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3<VRISKA)

>INTERN(S): Have a field day. (FILL TEAM BRO<3DAVE)

==>Eridan: Deal with Feferi off-air. (FILL: Team Dave<3Rose<3Terezi)

INTERNS: Abscond. (FILL: Team Eridan<3<Vriska)

===> Move on. (FILL: TEAM [Equius<3Eridan])