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hs_olympics2012-06-10 01:02 am
hso_mods) wrote in hs_olympics2012-06-10 01:02 am
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BONUS ROUND 1
Bonus Round 1
Genre-Mixing
Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.
Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.
Rules
- Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.
- Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!
- You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.
- Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.
Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.
If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.
Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.
Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)
For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)
All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.
If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!
PROMPT: TEAM DAD♥ROXY
Road Trip + Horror
FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE
April 13th was indeed a cursed date.
For today is John Egbert’s birthday, who is now a spunk legal adult of 21 now and itching to hit the slots, tables, and partake in beverages of the alcoholic variety with his very legal ID! Jade, Rose, and Dave decided to surprise him with a road trip to Vegas in hopes of seeing their boyfriend getting shit faced wasted, tossing his money at naked men and women alike, and help him truly learn what it means to be an adult.
They start the day bright and early and all pack into Jade’s “old as balls” 1998 Honda civic. She makes a sarcastic ha-ha at Dave’s rude ass comment and says it may be old but its sturdy and built for long distances, just like Grandpa Harley! The windows don’t roll down and theres empty soda cups in the back seat that Rose and Dave kick under the seats in front of them but at least the ac works. Birthday boy rides shotgun and fiddles with the radio in excitement as he and Jade chime together that this is going to be the “BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!”
It was not the Best Birthday ever.
It was the opposite of the Best Birthday ever.
Two hours into the drive Dave asks if they can get off at a reststop, complaining about some stomach pain. Jade slows onto the exit lane and barely parks the car before Dave quickly gets out and shuffles to the restroom. John walks around for a bit while Rose settles under the shade of a tree and glances through one of the books she brought for the twelve hour ride; There isnt much to see other then a few vending machines, picnic tables, and dead grass. Not every rest stop has a starbucks or AMPM i guess. Jade sits on the hood of her car and rattles through her purse to see if she has anything for carsickness that Dave might wanna take.
“You okay in there Dave?” John asks from the restrooms doorway. Theres a pause before Dave replies,”Yeah yeah dude, s’cool just gimme a sec.” Several flushes follow. ”You sure man cause Jade could go to the next stop and maybe grab you so pepto—” “No no no I’m fine, seriously. It’s your fuckin birthday, we’re going to Vegas, and I’m going to get outta this stall right…”
A long pause follows.
“Wow okay yeah tell Harley to grab some pepto please.”
Rose accompanies Jade to the next nearest reststop and grab some pepto pills and snacks just in case they get hungry. Rose says Dave’s got a weak stomach sometimes but he’ll be fine and that it can’t be worse then the time he had a Costco pizza eating contest with John. That was a dark time for everyone, the only restroom in the apartment being unusable for days. Jade prayed that such an incident would be the last…
When they get back John walks over to them rather concerned, “Dave’s not finishing any of his metaphors. They don’t even make sense like.. he just goes about halfway before giving up and making really weird moans and not the sexy kind. Like the complete opposite of sexy. Guys, I’m worried.” Lo and behold Dave staggers out lookin a bit flushed and rustles through the bags Rose was carrying like some hungry ass bear, desperate for that fix of candy bars and whatever else was in that campers pik-a-nik basket. He guzzles the pills down with some mountain dew and proceeds to shuffle over to the car and climb in the back seat.
“Are ya’ll just gonna stand over there and waste more daylight or are we gonna see some nipple pasties, lets go!”
They all talk over each other asking if he’s really okay and they can save the trip for next time but Dave refuses.
“I’m not about to be the fucking little stormy rain cloud bumpin his ass and shittin rain droplets and hail or whatever and ruin John’s Vegas Birthday Bash, I said I’m fine.” No on really believed him though, and for good reason.
FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE
Once they start driving again everyone stays pretty quiet, only the sound of the radio and static going off every so often before they change the station. Rose tries to read her book before getting a little nauseous herself and giving up, finding sleep to be the better option. Dave is sat tensely with his arms crossed as he looks out the window. Jade asks if the air conditionings getting to him and he just muffles a quick yeah before resuming his intense window staring.
The next hour John and Jade get a game of I spy going and Dave looks even more flushed even though he says he’s fine, really. Rose gave up trying to take a nap and instead stared intently at Dave’s sickly form. Even though his body remains taught every so often he shifts in his seat, crossing his legs and sometimes pressing them together tightly.
“Dave Strider so help me if you rip a fart in this car I am going to throttle you.”
“Rose no—”
“I’ll do it Dave, I will clock you upside the head if it stops you from exuding those nauxious butt bombs of yours.”
“Stop Rose they’re not even that bad—”
“No I’m sorry Dave they’re pretty bad,” John chimed in, “Like if we went to the zoo and sat you next to an elephant that just took a mad poop, your farts would still probably overpower the elephant stink and the poop stink combined. Just sayin.”
“Yeah pretty much.” Jade agreed.
“Yeah well guess you’ve never sat next to a piss and shit stank hobo on the F Line cause thats one rank stank, how much level grinding do you even gotta do to get Shit stank master like that guy. How many poop shaped goblins did you kill to get dead cat perfume covered in dog vomit around your neck, thats at least several years of diarrhea on your overcoat and thats just na—”
Dave was cut off by the horrible fart he was holding in, his long winded metaphor making him break wind. An embarassed flush fell over his has as everyone began making pained noises and a cocophony of anguished groans.
“Augh Dave”“DUDE”“I WASNT ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU FART”“MY EYESSS, MY EYESSS” “AW NAST ITS IN MY MOUTH, OPEN THE WINDOWS”“WE CANT OPEN THE WINDOWS”“THIS IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE”“DAVE WHY”
Dave’s embarassment and guilt grew larger when he realized that he didnt just fart, be he sharted in his pants. And the smell grew worse still.
“DAVE THERES NOT ANOTHER EXIT FOR LIKE 40MILES” OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE GOODBYE WORLD, LET IT BE KNOWN JOHN EBERTS DEATH WAS DUE TO MAJOR FLATULENCE”“…I think I’m going to puke.”
Everyone grew silent at that and John and Dave looked at Rose. “Dude Harley she’s gonna heave.” “JADE PULL THE CAR OVER WOW!”
“THERE’S NO WHERE TO PULL OVER ONTO!!”
“Jade this car is about to reach critical level nast mass JUST PULL OVER ANYWHERE.”
But it was too late.
Rose blew chunks of her breakfast burrito all over Jade’s car floor as Dave lifted his legs up onto the seat only to realize he shit right through his pants and onto Harley’s back seat. Everyone was screaming, and everything smelled awful for miles and miles and many more tears were shed.
“Well as least it’s a birthday you’ll never forget!” Jade exclaimed as she sat down in the hotel’s kingsize bed.
“I don’t think I can ever sit in your back seat knowing that our boyfriend fartpooped on it. And then Rose’s throwup also sorta got on the seat, and then Dave threw up seeing Rose throw up an—”
“Let’s…try not to think about that anymore today alright John?” Jade put a hand over John’s mouth as he knodded in agreement. “And let’s try not to make them feel too bad about it okay, I’m pretty sure we already did plenty of that in the car…”
When Dave and Rose got out of the shower John and Jade initiated a large cuddle pile in their kingsize bed and apologized and kissed their boyfriend and girfriend and assured them it wasn’t a big deal. At least they finally got to Vegas right?
John tries to playfully call Dave his shitboyfriend but instead ends up getting the cold shoulder as Dave cuddles in between Jade and Rose.
“Wow okay I see how it is, no love for the birthday boy!”
Re: FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE
This is definitely not what I was expecting at all but DAMN, I laughed out loud and the realistic, disgusting, awful horror of it all was perfect. ♥