hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.

Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!

You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.

Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

dirk<3uu
domesticity + bizarro fiction

[tags: NSFW, gore, body horror, animal cruelty]

I'm... I'm sorry for this. I don't even know.
___________________________

Dirk awoke and immediately felt something hard and unpleasant inside of his cock. He reached down and felt his appendage. It was lumpy and erected.

"What," he said, sitting up and looking at the green skulled thing that was already up and awake and sitting at the counter, "the fuck did you do to my cock?"

uu turned to Dirk in consternation. He had been focusing on the lizard whose legs he had been tearing off on the countertop, and wasn't happy for the distraction. "It's for my game," uu said, "with the sea cows."

"That doesn't fucking answer my question."

uu rolled his freakishly huge eyes and stood, popping the lizard into his mouth and chewing. He walked over to Dirk and laid a hand on his dick. "It doof thif," he said, still chewing the lizard as if it were bubblegum, the organs and viscera popping in his mouth.

He pressed down on a nub that was sticking out of Dirk's tumescent shaft, and a huge blade unfolded itself from Dirk's urethra. When it had finished it came out to about seven feet long. Each side was sharpened so thin that it seemed to bisect the air.

"Fuck," Dirk said. He contemplated for a moment. "You know you're a demented fucking aberration, right?" He paused. "I guess that’s kinda cool, though."

uu swung Dirk's penis in a semi-circle, and a chunk of their mattress fell to the floor. Then he pushed another button, and the blade retracted back into Dirk's cock. "Clean thaf uff," uu said, pointing at the mattress chunk.

"Why, what are you doing?" Dirk asked.

uu swallowed, then grinned broadly. His teeth were spattered with blood and gristle. "I have games to play," he said.

Dirk sighed and put on his robo maid outfit. It was actually just an apron that barely covered his front. His naked ass was exposed.

He set about cleaning up the mattress piece, as well as the rest of the apartment, since he had already started. The robo maid opened up and helped out, dusting off the room with a taxidermied seagull.

Outside the water was up over the windows. An octopus swam by, a pistol in its hand. It shot out a pane of the window, and water started rushing in. uu ignored it and kept playing video games. Dirk passively aggressively glared through his glasses at uu's back, but uu didn't notice or care.

The octopus was squeezing itself through the window now, so Dirk went over to it and punched it in the head. The octopus looked up at him angrily, and squeezed its firearm through the hole in the window. Dirk pushed his apron out of the way and fingered his cock. The seven foot blade came out and skewered the octopus through the eye.

Dirk cleared the octopus's body away, and then went about repairing the window. He was almost done when uu tapped him on the shoulder. "It's time for our game with the sea cows," he said. "Take off that stupid apron and come on."

Dirk scowled at him and then turned back to the window. "See if I hold your hand tonight," he muttered as he finished repairing it. Then he followed uu up to the roof.

The roof was covered in checkered tiles. Dirk looked around. He didn't see any manatees. "What are we playing?" Dirk asked.

"Contact chess," uu said. "The loser dies. You're my queen."

"The loser dies?" Dirk asked.

"Don't worry," uu said. "I have a strategy." He lightly stroked Dirk's dick.

"Is that legal?" Dirk asked.

"Who cares? We're playing against sea cows. It's not like they're smart enough to notice."

Dirk thought about saying something back, but he was interrupted by a terrible screeching sound. It made him want to walk over to the edge of the building and fling himself into the sea, where a thousand beautiful sirens were waiting to carry him back to their home and have glorious fishy sex with him all day. Fortunately, he was gay as fuck, so he just stood there as the sirens flopped up onto the roof.

They were corpulent masses of flesh, their hairy grey stomachs and breasts distending with squelching noises as they settled onto the land. They opened their mouths, and screamed things like "come fuck us" and "drill me hard big boy" in voices that had all the pleasure and charm of a cat falling out of a tree onto a thicket of dead fetuses.

"Can we really take all of them?" Dirk asked.

uu grinned, and pressed the button on Dirk's hard fuckstick.

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3JADE

FILL: TEAM DOLOROSA<3MINDFANG