hs_olympics | BONUS ROUND 1

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bonus round

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.

Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!

You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.

Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Page 29 of 146

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm definitely drawing something for this now!

Aranea♥Meenah, high school romcom and urban fantasy

gosh wow this is a really sad idea, that AR and davesprite would get on because they have being 'second best' to their alpha selves in common

thank you for writing this, id not considered it before and it really works!

Karkat ♣ (Terezi/Vriska), spy thriller and comedy of manners

Ψiioniic <3/<3<(I don't care) Her Imperious Condescension

Fairytale + Found Poetry

Jade♥Karkat♥John (or Jade♥Karkat♠John), First Contact SF and Mystery

Sawtooth <3 Squarewave
Musical fiction (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_fiction) + American teen movie

Karkat <3 John <3 Vriska
heist movie & fluff

Sollux<3Feferi<3Eridan<3<Sollux Post-apocalyptic + Historical Fiction (I'm thinking of a what if the world had ended in ____ kind of thing.)

This is completely delightful.

wow this is perfect i love it

Rose <3 Equius

Historical Fiction + Slice of Life

1. Tuck Jane into her sleeping bag and rummage through the abandoned farmhouse you're crashing in for the night. Completely fail to discover conveniently-placed robotic components, a handy dandy rocket launcher, or any sort of private jet. Figures.
2. Instead, discover a bag of flour.
3. Wait, is it flour?
4. How the hell are you supposed to differentiate between a sack of flour and a sack of any other white powder?
5. Ruminate briefly on the downsides of being raised entirely on orange soda and microwaveable meals. Then knock that shit off, because orange soda was awesome.
6. What can you do with a sack of flour?
7. Cook it, you assume. Cakes and shit?
8a. Jane would know.
8b. Jane is worn out.
9. Decide to be a bad enough dude to rescue the President, or, at the very least, to make Jane a surprise cake.
10. Continue rummaging through cellar, discover a) a sack of something that has to be sugar; b) a tin of baking powder, whatever that is; and c) a tin of something that claims to be evaporated milk, the concept of which is baffling to you and raises questions about how they got it out of the cows.
11. Head outside and become the first person in history to actively want to find pigeons.
12. Consider Jane's weird aversion to eating pigeons and pigeon-related byproducts.
13. Fail to understand this, as pigeons are preferable to seagulls in nearly every conceivable way.
14. Retrieve eggs, leaving avian heartbreak in your wake.
15. Find a pan in what's left of the farmhouse's kitchen, blow dust out of it, carry to the fireplace.
16. Combine ingredients gloriously, await cake.
17. Okay woah that is not glorious at all.
18. What the fuck.
19. Should it look like that.
20. Nothing should look like that.
21. You are currently traversing a post-apocalyptic planet, and you're pretty sure the contents of your pan still manages to be the worst thing you've ever seen.
22. Well, hell. You're Cake Hitler.

1. You love the smell of burnt crud in the morning.
2. No, wait. The opposite of that!!
3. Wake from a world of terrible dreams into a world of equally terrible cooking.
4. Interrogate the serious-looking Strider as to why he's sitting by the fireplace and peering forlornly into... a frying pan? What's even with that?
5. Oh.
6. Oh.
7. Stop being such a giddy goat and go to to the rescue.
8. Use a lifetime's experience to eyeball measure out one cup of flour, two-thirds of a cup of sugar, half a cup of evaporated milk, and two teaspoons of baking powder.
9. Send your trusty assistant to collect more eggs. Eggs... that are... definitely from chickens. Incredibly small chickens!
10. Switch to forkkind and beat the incredibly small chicken yolks together, gradually adding the sugar and evaporated milk.
11. Field an extremely confusing question about cows.
12. Start to beat the incredibly small chicken whites together. Loudly curse your lack of electric beaters.
13. Pass the bowl to Dirk on instructions to beat the mix until it looks like his hair. Stiff white peaks, dear! :B
14. Combine flour and baking powder, then add the egg mixes and gently fold together with spoonkind.
15. Yes, it's called gently folding.
16. Because it's different to stirring.
17. Well, you have a try.
18. There you go! Look at you, folding gently! You are folding that mix together so goshdarned gently, it simply does not know what to do with itself!
19. Okay, that's enough folding.
20. Find a slightly more appropriate pan to put the mix in to, and manage to place it above the fireplace in a likely looking spot.
21. Go wandering around the farmhouse with Dirk on the suspicion that every farm must have a lemon tree.
22. Watch the sunset for a while. Still remain unsettled by the new colours. Hold Dirk's hand under the grounds that if a girl can't hold the hand of a ninja boy from the future in the face of the apocalypse, then when can she?
23. Return to makeshift kitchen with an armful of lemons.
24. Inform Dirk about how glad you are to find lemons, as the danger of scurvy that you both face is terrible! Make him take a nice big bite of one.
25. Enjoy the show. Hoo hoo hoo!
26. Mix some sugar and lemon juice into what's left of the evaporated milk. Warm the tin over the fire.
27. Spoon the lemony icing over the cake.
28. Shut the tattered curtains on the ruined sunset outside the window and get comfortable around the fireplace.
29. Thank Dirk for your cake.

(The recipe is from a wartime cookbook, and apparently makes quite a servicable cake. I do recommend that you spring for chicken eggs if given the chance, though!)

(reply from suspended user)

(i know this is my nightmare. pt 1.)

April 13th was indeed a cursed date.

For today is John Egbert’s birthday, who is now a spunk legal adult of 21 now and itching to hit the slots, tables, and partake in beverages of the alcoholic variety with his very legal ID! Jade, Rose, and Dave decided to surprise him with a road trip to Vegas in hopes of seeing their boyfriend getting shit faced wasted, tossing his money at naked men and women alike, and help him truly learn what it means to be an adult.

They start the day bright and early and all pack into Jade’s “old as balls” 1998 Honda civic. She makes a sarcastic ha-ha at Dave’s rude ass comment and says it may be old but its sturdy and built for long distances, just like Grandpa Harley! The windows don’t roll down and theres empty soda cups in the back seat that Rose and Dave kick under the seats in front of them but at least the ac works. Birthday boy rides shotgun and fiddles with the radio in excitement as he and Jade chime together that this is going to be the “BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!”

It was not the Best Birthday ever.

It was the opposite of the Best Birthday ever.

Two hours into the drive Dave asks if they can get off at a reststop, complaining about some stomach pain. Jade slows onto the exit lane and barely parks the car before Dave quickly gets out and shuffles to the restroom. John walks around for a bit while Rose settles under the shade of a tree and glances through one of the books she brought for the twelve hour ride; There isnt much to see other then a few vending machines, picnic tables, and dead grass. Not every rest stop has a starbucks or AMPM i guess. Jade sits on the hood of her car and rattles through her purse to see if she has anything for carsickness that Dave might wanna take.

“You okay in there Dave?” John asks from the restrooms doorway. Theres a pause before Dave replies,”Yeah yeah dude, s’cool just gimme a sec.” Several flushes follow. ”You sure man cause Jade could go to the next stop and maybe grab you so pepto—” “No no no I’m fine, seriously. It’s your fuckin birthday, we’re going to Vegas, and I’m going to get outta this stall right…”

A long pause follows.

“Wow okay yeah tell Harley to grab some pepto please.”

Rose accompanies Jade to the next nearest reststop and grab some pepto pills and snacks just in case they get hungry. Rose says Dave’s got a weak stomach sometimes but he’ll be fine and that it can’t be worse then the time he had a Costco pizza eating contest with John. That was a dark time for everyone, the only restroom in the apartment being unusable for days. Jade prayed that such an incident would be the last…

When they get back John walks over to them rather concerned, “Dave’s not finishing any of his metaphors. They don’t even make sense like.. he just goes about halfway before giving up and making really weird moans and not the sexy kind. Like the complete opposite of sexy. Guys, I’m worried.” Lo and behold Dave staggers out lookin a bit flushed and rustles through the bags Rose was carrying like some hungry ass bear, desperate for that fix of candy bars and whatever else was in that campers pik-a-nik basket. He guzzles the pills down with some mountain dew and proceeds to shuffle over to the car and climb in the back seat.

“Are ya’ll just gonna stand over there and waste more daylight or are we gonna see some nipple pasties, lets go!”

They all talk over each other asking if he’s really okay and they can save the trip for next time but Dave refuses.

“I’m not about to be the fucking little stormy rain cloud bumpin his ass and shittin rain droplets and hail or whatever and ruin John’s Vegas Birthday Bash, I said I’m fine.” No on really believed him though, and for good reason.

(pt.2/2)
Once they start driving again everyone stays pretty quiet, only the sound of the radio and static going off every so often before they change the station. Rose tries to read her book before getting a little nauseous herself and giving up, finding sleep to be the better option. Dave is sat tensely with his arms crossed as he looks out the window. Jade asks if the air conditionings getting to him and he just muffles a quick yeah before resuming his intense window staring.

The next hour John and Jade get a game of I spy going and Dave looks even more flushed even though he says he’s fine, really. Rose gave up trying to take a nap and instead stared intently at Dave’s sickly form. Even though his body remains taught every so often he shifts in his seat, crossing his legs and sometimes pressing them together tightly.

“Dave Strider so help me if you rip a fart in this car I am going to throttle you.”

“Rose no—”

“I’ll do it Dave, I will clock you upside the head if it stops you from exuding those nauxious butt bombs of yours.”

“Stop Rose they’re not even that bad—”

“No I’m sorry Dave they’re pretty bad,” John chimed in, “Like if we went to the zoo and sat you next to an elephant that just took a mad poop, your farts would still probably overpower the elephant stink and the poop stink combined. Just sayin.”

“Yeah pretty much.” Jade agreed.

“Yeah well guess you’ve never sat next to a piss and shit stank hobo on the F Line cause thats one rank stank, how much level grinding do you even gotta do to get Shit stank master like that guy. How many poop shaped goblins did you kill to get dead cat perfume covered in dog vomit around your neck, thats at least several years of diarrhea on your overcoat and thats just na—”

Dave was cut off by the horrible fart he was holding in, his long winded metaphor making him break wind. An embarassed flush fell over his has as everyone began making pained noises and a cocophony of anguished groans.

“Augh Dave”“DUDE”“I WASNT ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU FART”“MY EYESSS, MY EYESSS” “AW NAST ITS IN MY MOUTH, OPEN THE WINDOWS”“WE CANT OPEN THE WINDOWS”“THIS IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE”“DAVE WHY”

Dave’s embarassment and guilt grew larger when he realized that he didnt just fart, be he sharted in his pants. And the smell grew worse still.

“DAVE THERES NOT ANOTHER EXIT FOR LIKE 40MILES” OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE GOODBYE WORLD, LET IT BE KNOWN JOHN EBERTS DEATH WAS DUE TO MAJOR FLATULENCE”“…I think I’m going to puke.”

Everyone grew silent at that and John and Dave looked at Rose. “Dude Harley she’s gonna heave.” “JADE PULL THE CAR OVER WOW!”

“THERE’S NO WHERE TO PULL OVER ONTO!!”

“Jade this car is about to reach critical level nast mass JUST PULL OVER ANYWHERE.”

But it was too late.

Rose blew chunks of her breakfast burrito all over Jade’s car floor as Dave lifted his legs up onto the seat only to realize he shit right through his pants and onto Harley’s back seat. Everyone was screaming, and everything smelled awful for miles and miles and many more tears were shed.

“Well as least it’s a birthday you’ll never forget!” Jade exclaimed as she sat down in the hotel’s kingsize bed.

“I don’t think I can ever sit in your back seat knowing that our boyfriend fartpooped on it. And then Rose’s throwup also sorta got on the seat, and then Dave threw up seeing Rose throw up an—”

“Let’s…try not to think about that anymore today alright John?” Jade put a hand over John’s mouth as he knodded in agreement. “And let’s try not to make them feel too bad about it okay, I’m pretty sure we already did plenty of that in the car…”

When Dave and Rose got out of the shower John and Jade initiated a large cuddle pile in their kingsize bed and apologized and kissed their boyfriend and girfriend and assured them it wasn’t a big deal. At least they finally got to Vegas right?

John tries to playfully call Dave his shitboyfriend but instead ends up getting the cold shoulder as Dave cuddles in between Jade and Rose.

“Wow okay I see how it is, no love for the birthday boy!”

Yo HSO colleagues, I'd love to see something like this:

Ship: John<3Karkat
Genre 1: Hard Sci-Fi
Genre 2: Romantic Comedy

Good luck! <3

warning this story is kind of a nsfw spectacle, also there is leetspeak

hope you like it!!! xoxo
----------------------------------------------------------

They've put out two chairs for you to sit on. Ridiculous! You jump onto one of them and motion for Dave to come sit on your lap. His hair smells like oranges that haven't been washed in a while. It's adorable. You put your bag of props on the other chair.

Apparently you're not facing the camera, so John walks around you until it's in the right place. He asks if you have the script, but you tell him you'll PL4Y 1T BY 34R, of which he approves. He yells ACTION!, and you elbow Dave gently in the ribs to remind him to start talking.

«hey kids,» he says, «me and my buddy tz are here keep it real about...» he turns towards you, smelling faintly confused. «tz, what are we here to keep it real about?»
You give him one of your brightest smiles.
«W3 4R3 H3R3 TO K33P 1T R34L 4BOUT S4F3 S3X! SP3C1F1C4LLY, S4F3 S3X B3TW33N TROLLS 4ND HUM4NS!»
He nods sagely, turning back in John's general direction.

«yes thats right it has come to our attention that some of my fellow humans think that just because youre fucking an alien means you can forego all the usual safety precautions,» he says, «but that shits as wrong as my sister being responsible for the wellbeing of small children.»

«don't be mean to rose, dave!» John says, laughing. Dave scoffs.

«anyway were gonna make a series of instructional videos teaching you all about our awesome sex safety skills, heres the first one, just sit tight and pay close attention, close as-»

You interrupt him.

«FOR OUR F1RST 1NSTRUCT1ON4L V1D3O,» you say, «W3 W1LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PR4CT1C3 S4F3 S3X WH3N 4 TROLL 1S P3N3TR4T1NG 4 HUM4NS NOOK OR 4NY OTH3R OR1F1C3! D4V3, TH3 PROPS»

You hear him going through the contents of the bag until he finds what he's looking for. He sits up straight and holds it towards the camera.

«so yeah normally in my earth human health class theyd give us a carrot to put the condom on but since todays special is about troll dicks were gonna demonstrate on this gross looking thing i found behind the sink»
He wriggles a little.
«terezi before we start i have to know: is this a dead baby?»
He holds it up in front of you and you lean in and give it an investigative lick.

«NOP3!» you say. «1 B3L13V3 1T 1S TH3 R3M41NS OF ON3 OF YOUR HUM4N FRU1T GUSH3RS!»
«sweet,» he says, placing it in his lap while he finds the condom.

It's hard to believe that you at one point in time didn't know what condoms were. How naive you were! Dave says that unsafe sex is COMPL3T3LY 1LL3G4L according to human law. You do not believe him entirely, but it never hurts to take precautions to be on the right side of the law. Plus, they make sex a lot less messy! It took a while of fiddling with the captcha codes to make them suit your needs, but you think it was worth it.

In front of you Dave is opening the condom wrapper carefully. This is one of the cherry-flavored ones, you notice.

«as you may know it is of absolutely fucking paramount importance that you do not get any holes in this shit, so keep your spiky troll claws out of the way,» he says, holding up the condom. You can't really smell what he's doing with it, but you know the drill well enough to narrate his actions.

«4ND TH3N, HOLD1NG TH3 CONDOM 4S MY 4SS1ST4NT D4V3 D3MONSTR4T3S, YOU S1MPLY ROLL 1T ONTO TH3 BULG3.»

«since troll dicks are like fucking sentinent tentacles you may have to use a little force but generally it should be fine,» Dave adds, holding up the condom-clad gusher. It smells delicious.

«4ND TH4TS 1T! YOU C4N NOW H4V3 S4F3 P3N3TR4T1V3 S3X W1TH YOUR HUM4N P4RTN3R!» you say as John turns the camera off, gives you a thumbs up, and says something about letting you have some alone time now. Dave throws the gusher at him before reponsitioning himself on the chair to face you, but John uses his wind powers to send it back, hitting the back of Dave's neck. You're still laughing when he leans in to kiss you.

How about Post-Apocalyptic + Romantic Comedy Jake♥Jane?

Dirk<>Jake
Alternate Histories, Mythic

Southern Gothic + horror, Rose<3Aradia?

Feferi<3Jake

Lost world+Military?

Dirk<3Jake<3Roxy, Romantic Comedy + Urban Fantasy

(reply from suspended user)

oH MY GOD PERFECT, i'm gonna to try to do a musical fill for this later :3

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 29 of 146

BONUS ROUND 1

Bonus Round 1

FILL: TEAM ROSE<3KANAYA<3DAVE

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA

Re: FILL: TEAM [Dirk<3Roxy]

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI >3> VRISKA

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT <3 NEPETA

PROMPT: TEAM KARKAT <3 NEPETA

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

Re: FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JAKE<3JANE<3ROXY

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE

PROMPT: TEAM Eridan <3 Roxy

FILL: TEAM GAMZEE<>KARKAT

FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

FILL TEAM: DAVE<3KANAYA<3ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3KARKAT

PROMPT: Team Alpha!Dave♥Alpha!Rose

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE

PROMPT: TEAM GAMZEE<>KARKAT

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3ERIDAN

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3JOHN

Re: PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<>ROSE