BONUS ROUND 1

[hso_mods]

Bonus Round 1

Genre-Mixing

Hey, shippers! Welcome to your very first bonus round proper--we hope you have lots of fun with it! This time around we're going to be asking you to mix it up a little--each fanwork posted for this round will be a mish-mash of two different genres, blended together in a delightful incestuous slurry to create an UNSTOPPABLE CREATIVE CONCOCTION--er. Or. Something.

Yeah, we're genre-mixing. That's what we're doing this round.

Rules

1. Submit prompts! Prompts should consist of two different genres and one ship. This cannot be your team's ship! These are worth 5 points each, for a maximum of 100 points per team.


2. Look through the prompts and fill whichever you like!


3. You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill your own team's prompts.


4. Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts which they are for, following the format below. They may be any medium.

Title Format
If you are starting a new thread, please use this format in your title.
PROMPT: TEAM [YOUR SHIP]
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

If you are filling a prompt, use this format in your title.
FILL: TEAM [YOUR SHIP]
Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team YOU belong to; please use the characters and quadrant, not whatever portmanteau or nickname you've come up with.
If your team name is not in this format and in the title we cannot guarantee that it will be counted.

Posts not using this format in the title will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, no matter what they contain. They, like all comments on the comm, are subject to the Wank Policy.

Scoring
For prompt posts: 5 points each (maximum of 100 per team)

For fills (as stated here):
First 5 entries in each post: 30 (per entry)
Entries 6-10 in each post: 20 (per entry)
Entries 11-15 in each post: 10 (per entry)
Entries 16+ in each post: 5 (per entry)

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, please ask them at the FAQ post here, or email them to us (homestuck.shipping at gmail). Otherwise, we cannot guarantee that we will see them in a timely fashion!

Comments

PROMPT: TEAM EQUIUS<3TAVROS

[cygna_hime]

Terezi<3<Gamzee etiology + psychological thriller

PROMPT: TEAM TEREZI<3VRISKA

[graveexcitement]

Rose<>Eridan Body horror & hurt/comfort.

FILL: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

[orange_yarn]

She pieces you together all slow, steady hands stitching ugly wounds, binding your halves with careful precision. It hurts, it hurts but you lay still, gills gasping open and shut, open and shut as she knits sinew and flesh, twisting and tugging until you can pretend you're whole again, until you can pretend you're not broken any more. It's a fragile lie you feed yourself, slumped up against her side as her needles click, as angels wheel and screech overhead.

You trail after her on legs that don't feel like your own, on legs that feel stiff and dead, your waist wrapped tight in case you unravel. Your steer clear of your memories, you don't want to show her and anyway, you suspect she already knows. She accepts you for the things you've done and pities you for what you could have been and somehow that hurts worse than the constant ache in your middle. You pick through her life instead, you haunt the corners of her room and bury ghost fingers in yarn as she knits, knits, purls, dainty hands deftly crafting simple beauty and all you ever did was destroy.

You don't know where she goes when she's not dreaming. You sit cross-legged in the floor of her bedroom and wait, watching blood seep across your wrappings, remembering the whir of the engine, the flash of silver as you were cleaved in two, until she comes again.

She doesn't say a word, just presses her lips together, unwinding your stained and tattered scarf to replace it with another, tyrian purple and the shade makes you sick, but it's soft against your clammy skin, and it smells just like her, and you wish you could ask her to stay.

PROMPT: TEAM EQUIUS<3TAVROS

[cygna_hime]

Dirk<>Roxy
high fantasy + political manifesto

PROMPT: TEAM EQUIUS<3TAVROS

[cygna_hime]

Vriska<3<Sollux space opera + noir

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

[outcastermine]

Jade<3Davesprite
nuclear fallout + magical realism

PROMPT: TEAM DAVE<3TEREZI

[outcastermine]

Vriska <3< or <3 Kanaya
1001 Arabian Nights + Spy Thriller

PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KARKAT

[sakiexcel]

Jane<3Roxy: Whore dialogue* + Parody

* Seriously though, do take a look at that link. ;)

Re: PROMPT: TEAM JADE<3KARKAT

[lustfullyc.livejournal.com]

I may do something with this...

PROMPT: TEAM Psiioniic <3 Signless

[yellow_red_cyan]

Clockpunk + 19th century Irish boxing brawl (like that one in the first Sherlock Holmes movie?) for Jake <3/<3< Brobot

PROMPT: TEAM JAKE<3TEREZI

[undermutt]

John<3Karkat
Parody + Erotic

PROMPT: Team Rose<3Roxy

[crevangrietje]

Could Someone Write Dave<3Roxy In Highschool And Also Superheroes?

PROMPT: TEAM ERIDAN<3Sollux

[musekicker]

Tavros<>Nepeta

holiday story+cooking show

Re: PROMPT: TEAM Jade<3Fefer

[genten]

direct link: http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad22/Genten_2010/bonusroundentry2.png

um, hopefully this fills the prompt?

Prompt: Team [Dave<3Aradia]

[blackestdaekfire]

Aradia<3Jade Steampunk + Zombies

Prompt: Team [Dave<3Aradia]

[blackestdaekfire]

Dave<>Aradia
Motorbikes and pizza

FILL: TEAM BRO<3DAVE

[candyredcoolkid]

road support

It was dark out, and the only current light came from the headlight of Dave's bike as he pulled up next to her.

"you came quick!"
"you were on my route"

Aradia raises an eyebrow at him, making it clear she was not entirely convinced. When he shrugs she decides to let it slide; he's here now and she's very much in need of help.

"so lets see"

She nods and motions at her lifeless bike. She'd heard something snap as she was on the road, and instant swaying followed. Aradia managed to pull up to the side before harming herself or others, and after an intense bout of spluttering, the bike had given in completely.
She tried looking at it herself (she likes to consider herself decently capable when it comes to mechanics), but she couldn't seem to find the problem. Being stranded and her frustration with the situation running higher, she decided to text Dave. Only minutes later, the familiar rumbling of his own bike became audible.

You could say many things about Dave Strider, but when you really needed him, he was there.

She stared blankly at him and her bike as he crouched down near it, studying and touching the metal in several places. Briefly, she wondered how he could even see clearly while wearing sunglasses at night.

"has it been backfiring on you"
"yes.."

He nods and hums knowingly, then gets up and wipes his oily hands on his -already roughed up- jeans.

"fuel supply slash combustion issue" He says as if its the simplest thing in the world. "could be fuel going where its not supposed to" He trails off for a moment and gives her a questioning look. "or timing"

"my timing is fine!"
"yeah i thought youd say that"
"so what do i do?"

She was starting to feel a bit desperate; he noticed and smiled calmly.

"chill megido itll be fine"

He walked up to his own bike and opened the box compartment attached to the back.

"take mine for now and once yours is cool ill take it down to the shop ok"

Aradia was about to protest when she saw Dave walking back up to her, holding a large pizza box.

"..did you seriously bring pizza?"
"thought you might be hungry"

Her stomach growled in response and she gave him a grateful nod.

As they sat down by the side of the road to eat, Aradia relaxed. A messed up bike wasn't too hard to deal with in the right company.

-fin

PROMPT: TEAM Dave<3Roxy

[daystodawn]

Dave<3Jade
This Song and collegestuck

FILL: TEAM DIRK<>ROXY

[pyrokineticvampire]

Warning: Aside from Dave/Jade, this also has Dave/Terezi, Dave/OC, Dave/Sollux, and Dave/Rose.

Four Times Dave Had a Fling and One Time He Fell in Love

1.

The first weekend after Jade leaves, Dave finds himself bored out of his mind. On Saturday nights, the two of them always spend those nights talking online – they could be in each other’s company within minutes but old habits die hard and they’re used to being long-distance friends like they were before attending the same college. Without her online, Dave finds himself restless and unable to sit still at his computer, needing a better distraction from the foreign feeling of genuinely missing someone.

A quiet beeping tells him someone has signed on and he turns back to the computer to see Terezi online.

TG: hey sup
GC: D4V3! BOTH “H3Y” 4ND “SUP”?
GC: SOM3BODY’S T4LK4T1VE TON1GHT.
TG: bored
TG: wanna hang out?
GC: D4V3 YOU KNOW 1 H4V3 1MPORT4NT TH1NGS TO DO
GC: TH1S P4P3R 1SNT GO1NG TO WR1T3 1TS3LF
GC: …1LL B3 R1GHT TH3R3.

By “right there”, Terezi apparently means she’ll take her sweet time because that’s just how Terezi is, but she does eventually arrive and they draw a shitty comic together before Dave conspicuously puts his arm around her shoulders. Allowing herself to be pulled closer towards him, she grins widely, one of her hands already traveling up his thigh. Dave manages to not think of Jade again until he and Terezi are falling asleep next to each other, naked and spent. He wonders if her flight landed okay.

2.

During break, Dave works a different job every night of the week, falling into a schedule of sleeping through the day, going to DJ in a club until the hours of the early morning, and then getting home by dawn to pass out in bed all over again. For the most part, it pays for a couple terms worth of text books, but he enjoys the work too. There’s just one thing off, this time.

Jade doesn’t always come to see him perform because she doesn’t like staying up so late every night, but she makes a point of supporting Dave as much as possible. She spends just as much time hanging around Dave as she does mingling and Dave never realized how much he liked that. He used to joke that it was nearly impossible to pick up any chicks with her hanging around, but now that she isn’t there, he feels a little lonely, just the amateur musician that no one pays a lot of attention to because they’re focused on drinking and dancing and whatever else.

A waitress brings him a beer and he knows actually what that means. It’s on the house, she tells him, and of course it is. He asks if she has any requests and she does and then she tells him she doesn’t get off until closing time, when he’ll be leaving too. She meets him at his car when he’s done packing away his equipment and she slowly pushes him up against the driver side door and kisses him.

3.

“Can we take a break?” Sollux whines. He hates Spanish, he hates languages in general, but it’s required for both of their degrees so they suffer through it together.

“Yeah, whatever,” Dave replies and pushes his textbook away from him across the desk. With a yawn, he leans back in his chair. “What other midterms do you have left?”

“Just calculus.”

Dave makes a fake retching expression and Sollux chuckles. “Better than this language shit.”

“Just blame it on the lisp,” Dave tells him. “They can’t fail you then because that’s discrimination.”

Sollux kicks him under the table. “I still have to be able to write it, dingus.”

“Did you just call me dingus? What the fuck?”

Ignoring him, Sollux shoves his things back into his bag and stands up.
“Come on, back to mine?”

Dave nods and follows him out of the common area and into the dorm area. For the millionth time, Dave wishes Jade were there to help them both. She’s great with languages, she can speak more of them than Dave thinks is probably necessary for anyone ever. He imagines her right now, on a different continent doing field work, speaking in some different language to all the kids from the village. She’s probably playing soccer with them. Isn’t that what people do when they work abroad? There are always pictures of the kids playing soccer. If Jade knew what he was thinking, she’d probably hit him and tell him to stop being an ignorant douchebag.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

“What?” Dave asks dazedly, coming back to focus on Sollux. They’re already at his dorm room. “Right, yeah, just thinking about something.” He drops his stuff on Sollux’s floor and flops backwards onto the bed.

The mattress shifts as Sollux sits down next to him. “Need help clearing your mind?”

Dave grins. “So that’s what you meant by taking a break?”

“Obviously. Busy time of the years calls for drastic measures.”

Dave sits up and pushes Sollux down onto his back in one fluid movement and straddles his thighs, already pulling up on his shirt. “You got it, Captor.”

4.

Dave has gotten used to Jade being gone by now. Every so often she gets access to an internet connection and they give each other their undivided attention until she has to go again, but he’s fallen into a routine that doesn’t involve her anymore, and it feels empty, like life is a party he’s attending without his wingman. Her absence is especially poignant on Thanksgiving.

Neither of them have parents. Jade is basically an orphan now and Dave only has his big brother, so when holidays roll around, Jade travels home with Dave and they all spend it together, with a couple of Dave’s childhood friends and their single parents. Together, they all make a group of seven and it’s the closest any of them will get to an extended family dinner.

Dave admits, it’s kind of fun. Rose’s mom gets drunk abnormally quick and Mr. Egbert makes the best desserts. He and Bro team up against John while they play video games and Jade… Jade would normally be there laughing and joking around, maybe asking Bro to team her more about fighting with katanas. She fits in so well with all of them, she’s friendly and her happiness is infectious. Dave suddenly finds himself thinking he could quite easily spend the rest of his life with her.

What?

When everyone’s asleep, Dave sits quietly in the kitchen with a glass of apple juice, staring straight ahead and trying not to think about Jade or his feelings. It’s just a familial thing anyway, right? She just fits in like she belongs, that’s all.

He doesn’t notice Rose until her hand falls onto his shoulder, shaking him from his reverie.

“You miss Jade,” she states, not a question.

“I just can’t sleep,” Dave insists.

“Dave.” Rose sits down next to him, leaning forward over the table to try catching his eye. “It’s been almost three months, you’re allowed to miss her, you’re only human.”

Dave doesn’t really have an answer to that, not because he doesn’t trust Rose but because he doesn’t know how to put the right words to how he feels. “I just wish she were back already,” he says simply.

“Me too,” Rose replies, “We all do. Just another month. You’ll talk to her when she gets back?”

He knows what Rose is implying and that’s kind of frightening. “About what?” he plays dumb. He can barely talk to Rose about it, how is he going to talk to Jade about it? He barely knows what “it” is.

Rose hooks a finger under his chin and turns his face towards her, than firmly presses their lips together. Dave automatically kisses back because they’ve kissed several times before. They dated for a while, twice in fact, but it never really worked out for one reason or another. They were just close, maybe convenient, and going to different colleges was what put a complete stop to it.

Rose bites his lip to get his attention, to show him that she’d lost his attention at all. The kiss feels familiar. Warm. She pulls away and they just look at each other for a few moments.

“What do you feel?” Rose asks.

Dave shrugs.

“Exactly. Talk to her, will you? I’m going to go back to bed. Get some rest soon.”

She’s gone before Dave registers what just transpired and even then, he’s not sure he completely understands. However, he does feel like he’s figured something out and he should thank Rose for it, whatever it is.

----

A week before Jade’s return flight, Dave receives a letter. It’s several pages long, includes a bunch of pictures and even more exclamation points. Dave is kind of stunned, he always assumed Jade’s trip would be like normal college but in a different country with different circumstances. It had sounded like an extended camping trip out into the wilderness, but Jade makes it sound so much better than that, like she’s been Wonderland or Middle Earth or something. She has nothing but good to say about her trip, saying she’s learned just as much about herself as the new environment and she can’t wait to tell him more in person.

Dave panics that Jade doesn’t want to come back, not really. Maybe she wants to stay, that’s why she’s majoring in international development in the first place. She’s going to disappear from Dave’s life until all he gets are letters when she has a rare chance to sit down and write them.

It’s so cruel, because in the pictures she’s sent, she looks beautiful and Dave thinks just seeing her looking so happy and at peace makes him fall even harder and it’s too late because he’s already lost her. Dave never uses the phone, but he calls Rose that night and spills his guts, promising that if she’ll help him without mocking him just this one night, he won’t bother her with this ever again.

Jade comes home on a Saturday afternoon and Dave picks her up at the airport even though she told him there would be a coach to take all the students back to campus. He surprises both of them by hugging her right in the airport in front of everyone and once he’s initiated it, it’s almost impossible to let go.

“Did you miss me while you were lookin’ for yourself out there?” Dave jokes but he actually means it, he actually needs to know.

Jade laughs and the sound is music to Dave’s ears. “I missed you before I even left the country, Dave.” She squeezes her arms tight around him. “I thought about you every day, just like I always have, even before we met in person for the first time.”

It’s exactly what Dave needed to hear and more. He thinks about what Rose told him to do, but he still isn’t sure what to say, so instead he just kisses Jade and she kisses back like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like they were always meant to be.

PROMPT: TEAM Aradia<>Dave

[eremiticantiquarian]

Stoner Adventure + Food Network Show, Aradia <> Tavros

FILL: TEAM DAVESPRITE/DOOMED!JOHN

[mellamollama]

Oh my goodness, I'm not sure what this is, but I hope you enjoy it.


Adventures in Cooking

“Tavros. Tavros, we have to go out.”

“Huh? What for?”

“Haven’t you been paying attention?” Aradia gestures vaguely towards the television, eyes bright and excited.

Some sort of cooking show is on. Master Cook, or Bronze Chef, or something. He hadn’t really been paying attention. His thoughts had been wandering for a while now, probably since he and Aradia had eaten the brownies someone had left on the counter in their dorm kitchen. “So, you want to go out to eat?” He can understand that. He feels kind of hungry himself.

“No! Look,” she gestures more insistently at the television, “Look at that meat! I want to go hunt!”

“Aradia. Um. I think there is a possibility that hunting is slightly less than legal. Without a license.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure? This is an opportunity of a lifetime! You don’t get chances to kill and cook your own food everyday.” Aradia stands up and shakes her fist in the air as if to emphasize the magnitude of the situation.

“Well…as long we can take your car. I feel kind of odd—I don’t think I should drive.”

“Woohoo! That’s the spirit! This is going to be so much fun, just you wait.”

Ten minutes later they’re driving around the city in Aradia’s beaten-up jeep in the middle of the night. Aradia still seems extremely enthusiastic, but Tavros is starting to wonder what kind of animals they’re going to find around campus. Certainly nothing tasty like a chicken or a cow. He really hopes Aradia won’t make them eat something gross like opossum or—

“Whoa!” Aradia slams on the brakes and the car comes to a sudden stop that jolts Tavros into the dashboard.

“Aradia, what’s wrong?” He looks around wildly, trying to see anything that would have made her stop the car so suddenly.

“Look, there’s a hedgehog in the road. I didn’t want to run over him.” She points to a spot a few feet in front of the right front tire. “Let’s wait for him to cross the road.”

They sit there for a few minutes, but the hedgehog isn’t moving. It's just…sitting there. Aradia suddenly gasps and turns to face Tavros, a little bit too excited. “You don’t think it’s already dead, do you?”

“Oh man, I hope not! Let me check.” He hops out of the car and approaches the hedgehog slowly, careful not to startle it. He stands over it with an odd look on his face, then stoops down and scoops it into his hands, carrying it back to Aradia.

“Is it okay?”

“Aradia, I’m not sure how to say this. The hedgehog, it’s, well, it’s just a pinecone.”

A beat.

Neither one seems quite sure what this means for their adventure.

Aradia is the first to come to a conclusion. “We can’t eat the hedgehog.”

“Pinecone,” Tavros reminds her.

“Pinecone,” Adadia agrees. “Completely inedible. We’ll have to continue our hunt.”

Half an hour later, they are starting to become weary of their quest. The only other animals they’d come across were stray cats, and they had agreed right away cats were worse than pinecones. And so, they find themselves in the Beef section of the nearest grocery store.

“Tavros.”

“Yeah, Aradia?”

“Cooking is hard.”

“Yeah, I think it’s sort of a learned skill.”

“I don’t know how to cook.”

“Me, neither.”

An hour later, they have made it back to the dorm and are happily snacking on beef jerky. On the table in front of them is a small cage holding their new pet hedgehog, Pinecone.

Prompt: Team Dave♥Roxy

[laughably_unimportant]

Dave<3Jade in a bodyswap + comedy of manners

(because I recently discovered that I love bodyswaps)

Prompt: Team Dave♥Roxy

[laughably_unimportant]

Rose<3Roxy in a Class S + summer camp AU

because it just seems to fit

PROMPT: Team Dave<3Karkat

[lacertae_dreamscape]

Sollux<3Dave

sitcom + spy movie

PROMPT: TEAM Dave<3Rose<3Terezi

[dragon_bagon]

Pizza + Supernatural Apocalypse (not like... the apocalypse from Supernatural, just an apocalypse of supernatural causes) for Aranea<3Meenah!

[orange_yarn]

Terezi<>Dirk spies + historical fiction

PROMPT: TEAM Psiioniic <3 Signless

[yellow_red_cyan]

Welp, here it goes. Hope I'm not being a spoiler or something. There are ways to go around that, yes?

Roxy <> UU

Beauty Pageant + Hurt/Comfort

FILL: TEAM ROXY<3JANE

[heartfeltdisease]

[6/17 UPDATE SPOILERS.]

You weren’t sure what you expected. Everyone else was so beautiful, stunningly so, with their smooth cheeks and complex interactions, so friendly and talkative, skin in shades of gray and nudes. It was like this anywhere. Why would it be any different at a beauty pageant? What were you expecting?

You didn’t even try to attend the winner’s ceremony. You knew the last place would cut you more than anything – it was better to cry alone than in front of an audience.

“Callie?”

The voice broke your sobbing as you turned to it, hands still up to your face. Roxy approached slowly, still dressed in her fanciest garb from the contest.

“You should be at the ceremony, love,” you mutter.

She shrugged and sat beside you. It suddenly occurred to you that her beautiful face was twisted in worry. Her hand gently touched your swirled cheek.

“Nah, I figured it was totes better to be with you. Not like I was gonna get anything in with that Mayram around.” She said, smiling. “Besides, you look like you need a little cheering up. And that’s farrrrr more important than some dumbass beauty pageant.”

With that, she kissed you gently on the forehead, light brown against green. You closed your eyes, thinking of how lovely the combination of colors was. It was more important than one color or shape on it's own, you decided. Much more important than everything else at all.

PROMPT: TEAM JANE<3ROXY

[heartfeltdisease]

UU<3Roxy<3Jane

fantasy + reality tv

FILL: TEAM BRO<3GRANDPA

[macca44552]

Okay so this kind of turned into a cancerous blob of fluff, haha.

------------------
On your first day you wave at the cameras and smile. You were desperate to do this, you don’t know if you’ll even be able to stand them for a full week, but if there was another option you would have taken it a long time ago.

And maybe those who watch will be inspired by your story.

Your competition is Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalonde. They’re both attractive humans and you practically give yourself away every time you reach up to nervously adjust your horns in their presence.

“This is going to be great,” you say. The director gestures that you’re speaking to the wrong camera and you laugh nervously, “I can’t wait. Seven days! It’s going to be such a fun experience, even if I don’t win.”

Roxy slings her arm across your shoulder, “Yeah! We are ready! Bring it on FairyGullmother! Ooops, Godmother!”

Your belongings are on your back as you trudge through the forest, taking in everything with a catch of your breath. You’ll hike for seven days before you reach the summit and you refrain from pinching yourself. You usually play it safe and stay indoors. You’re taking so many risks with this show and breaking so many of your own rules, but if you win it’ll all be worth it.

Later that night Roxy and Jane are sitting by the fire. They call you over.

“So I think it’s about time we had THE TALK, haha,” Roxy says, “If the audience chooses you, what’re you going to wish for?”

You play with your hands and hope that the heat won’t cause your makeup to run, “I, blimey, I never really thought about the wording…”

“I think I’ll wish for inner strength,” Jane says, her eyes are determined but they’re wet, “Or, you know, the ability to be able to deal with things. To get over them.”

“Oh Janey!”

You watch as they embrace. You feel a bit awkward so you crawl in your tent and fall asleep.



On the second day Roxy gives you a few sips out of her flask and you don’t react well. You spend the journey vomiting and hiding from the cameras (you don’t quite manage that last one), and trying to fix your troll paint so the tear tracks don’t show.

Jane sits beside you as you lean against a tree and she lets you have one of her granola bars and a bottle of water.

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem at all. I, um, Roxy can be a bit…forward at times. She had no idea that trolls reacted that way to alcohol, I can assure you, or else she wouldn’t have been so careless.”

“It’s okay, really. I should have asked.”

Roxy comes running out of the forest, arms outstretched, headed towards you. Your eyes widen.

“Oh Calile I’m sorry!” she holds you and your spine stiffens, “I didn’t mean to make you sick! You’re the bestest troll ever and I love you and forgive me pleasies?”

The camera catches all that and you force a smile as you hug her back.



On the third day they ask you what it’s like being a troll. Your first instinct is to recite all the facts you know about them but that seems unnatural so you shrug.

“Well, I never grew up on Alternia. I mostly just lived here on Earth. Like you lot.”

You take a rest on a hill, sun pouring down your backs. Roxy unceremoniously drops all her camping gear, Jane chides her and you run for the shade.

“So wait, do you have a, er, kismisesis? Or a matespirit? Tell me all your quadrants,” Roxy plops down next to you. Jane’s rummaging through her bag. Her skin is a lot redder than it was before.

“Gosh Roxy. That’s personal, isn’t it?”

“We’re on a reality show, Jane, how much more impersonal can we get?”

Jane turns to you, “Don’t listen to her. Tell us as little or as much as you want.”

“No, it’s okay. I haven’t filled any of my quadrants, actually.”

“Aw really?” Roxy frowns and puts her head on your shoulder. You think by the end of the week you’ll have gotten used to her clingy nature.

“Looks like we’re all just a bunch of hot bachelors! We should spice up the show and have an orgy or something.”

You swallow nervously but Jane just rolls her eyes and laughs so you figure it wasn’t a serious suggestion.

Later that night Jane and Roxy find a lake and go swimming. It looks like fun but you’re content to only be a spectator. You suppose.



On the fourth day the producer calls everyone in for a meeting and tells you that you’re getting along too well—you need to do something dramatic to keep the audience interested. As incentive, he tells you that Roxy’s in the lead for audience votes.

Everything’s awkward now. Your conversations are strained and forced so you eventually stop talking. Roxy takes out her flask again and drinks more than she did on the previous day. Jane attempts to take it away and in the struggle it spills all over the ground and Roxy stomps off, demanding that she’s going to “take a leak”.

You climb a tree and Jane stares up at you. You tell her she should climb too. She laughs.

“I don’t know. I’m wearing a skirt and I wouldn’t want to scrape up my legs.”

“You could put on some pants, then?” She doesn’t respond. There’s a ladybug crawling on the trunk and you touch it carefully, “The view is really splendid from up here.”

She bites her lip. And then she grabs a pair of pants, throws them on under her skirt and climbs. She goes higher than you do, laughing the entire way. You don’t think you’ve seen her so happy before.

“You know, tolot paper should grow on trees. If I end up getting, like, vagina burn from these leaves then I’m going to be so pissed!”

She notices Jane’s head peeking out from the top of the tree and she smiles and screams “woohoo”.

Later that night Roxy grabs Jane’s face and kisses her. Your mouth hangs open and so does Jane’s. She’s bright red as she slaps Roxy’s knee and laughs. You laugh too but when Roxy turns to you and leans in you recoil.

“I can’t,” you say.

“Aww man, okay. No smoochies for us.”

It takes forever to fall asleep that night.



On the fifth day they find out what you are.

You oversleep and are woken up by Roxy collapsing on top of you.

“Oh would you leave the poor girl alone?” Jane says.

“No, man. If I have to be up this early then everyone has to be up!”

You turn on your side. The first thing you see is Roxy’s eyes, wide and pink and confused.

“What’s that on your face?”

Some of your makeup came off during the night. There’s a patch of green skin that extends from your neck to underneath your eye. You sit up quickly and your wig and horns go flying off your head.

You spend the morning taking off your makeup and telling your friends exactly what you are. The camera catches everything; you bitterly think that they finally have the drama they desired. You try your best to keep your hideous face in the shadows.

“But Callie, you’re not ugly! Look at those cheekbones. Girrl, do you know what I would give to have suckers like those?” she pokes them and it feels weird to have someone touch your skin.

Jane’s eyes have stopped popping out of her skull. She sits down next to you, leaning against the tent, “She’s right, dear. You’re not ugly at all. You’re just different.”

You don’t want to be different.

It’s a late start due to the incident and you don’t hike very far at all. You hope that you’ll be able to get to your destination by the end of the week. Jane and Roxy don’t talk much but they throw you looks of support every few minutes.

It’s comforting knowing that they care, but you wish they’d stop.

Later that night you sit in the confessionals tent, sans makeup, and tell the audience what you are.

“I’m a Cherub. I’m… our species is spread across the universe; we have no planet to call our own. This is what we look like,” you swallow and stare at the ground, “And that’s why I’m on this show. I want to… if the audience votes for me, when we make it to the Fairy’s summit, I’d…I’d wish to be beautiful.”



On the sixth day Roxy and Jane bombard you while you’re getting ready. They say they want to be trolls too. You end up sitting in the sun laughing and getting makeup everywhere. You have two extra sets of horns but only one extra wig, so Roxy takes the wig, insisting that Jane’s hair is already close enough to troll black, and ties daisies around her horns.

“Oh man Janey. We are so cool looking. When we get back no one will be able to resist a piece of this.”

Roxy loops her arms around both of you and for the first time in your life you feel like you belong.

Later that night you reach another lake and they pull you in this time.

You watch as gray paint falls from your skin, settles thick on the water before washing out. You throw your horns and wigs to the shore and you’re having so much fun splashing and swimming that you forget to care about what you look like.

There’s something pressing uncomfortably on your foot. You reach down and pick up a rock, glowing blue and red and green and purple and orange and pink and when you loosen your palm it shoots into the sky and rains color all over the water.

When the show ends everyone’s quiet.

Roxy’s floats on her back, “You know, when we got to the summit, I was gonna wish for my mom to come back.”

You stare at her.

“But I’m not sure… if I need to anymore? I just want to not feel so alone, you know?”

You know.

You and Jane dunk her under the water and she yells that you’re both ‘dumb bitches’.

When you come out Roxy grabs your arms and kisses you.

You don’t feel anything romantic but you feel a deep sense of companionship and trust so you kiss her back. When Roxy’s gone Jane comes in for a hug and you sigh happily.

The summit’s in sight but you think you don’t need to reach it anyway.



On the last day the producers give you all a heads up. They tell you that you won.

Your stomach drops and tears catch the corners of your eyes. Roxy and Jane look genuinely happy for you as they hold your hands.

You don’t put any makeup on that day.

The journey is filled with quiet moments. The three of you split a bag of Cheeze-Its (humans really are fantastic at culinary endeavors), chase a bunny (you didn’t catch him), and rub lotion over your exposed skin (you don’t need any but you help Jane even as she winces because she burns too easily). You’re not supposed to know that you’ve the won and it’s easy to keep your excitement contained when you know that this is the last day with your friends.

You hold hands as you climb the summit. The Fairy is waiting, beautiful and blue as she floats with a long gown fluttering behind her. She announces that you’re the winner and Jane and Roxy each give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek before you step forward.

“What is your wish?” she asks.

You swallow. You dig your feet into the dirt. You sweat.

You don’t know anymore.

The director gives you a sign behind his camera. He’d told you to pause dramatically before making your wish but he obviously hadn’t meant for you to take this long.

Your heart’s beating frantically. You thought this would have been easy. You thought you knew what you wanted!

“I just…” you try to keep your voice from skipping, “I just want to be loved.”

Roxy and Jane run up to you then, encircling you in their arms. You try not to get emotional, but the director gives you a thumbs up and you let the tears fall freely.

The Fairy raises an eyebrow, “You didn’t need me for that.”

No, you’re realizing, you didn’t.



Since that didn’t count as a real wish Roxy takes it upon herself to ask for a flying ship that comes with a jacuzzi and cabinets that are always stocked.

You’re on the deck, running your hands through Roxy’s hair and doing a crossword puzzle with Jane, amazed that your wish came true.

PROMPT: TEAM DUALSCAR<3PSIIONIIC

[gettothedragons]

post-apocalyptic + exploration/adventure

Dave<3Tavros

PROMPT: TEAM JOHN<3VRISKA

[tehstripe]

Roxy<3AutoResponder

Shounen anime mixed with a cooking show.

Re: PROMPT: TEAM JOHN<3VRISKA

[mr2bonclay]

i would like to see this

PROMPT: TEAM dave♠karkat♥terezi♥dave

[sadisticbutsweet]

Ahahahaha, apologies. Jumpping on board with the other update shippers.

Roxy<3UU, Zombie flick-Romcom (romantic comedy)

You totally heard me.